Page 62 of The Beastly Earl

"Thank you," Louisa barely managed to choke out a response at the woman's mention of Ross.

Certain she was about to burst into tears, she bobbed her head sharply in the woman's direction. The only thing that kept her from sobbing as she hurried toward her rooms was pride. Pity was the last thing she wanted from anyone. She had more than enough of that on her own.

The moment she was behind the closed door of her bedroom, Louisa allowed the tears to flow steadily down her cheeks. How could she have failed so miserably? Ewan's expression had revealed nothing but cold condemnation as he'd turned and walked away from her. The man she'd given herself to last night had been replaced by a battle-scarred warrior filled with nothing but harsh anger and contempt. The Beast of Argaty Keep had returned even stronger than when she'd first arrived.

There was nothing left of the man who'd made love to her last night with equal amounts of fiery desire and tender, almost worshipful, caresses. She flinched at the memory. Had she simply convinced herself what they'd shared had held as much meaning for him as it had to her? The idea that she might have deceived herself about what had happened between them made Louisa draw in a sharp breath as the real truth seared her soul.

At dinner last night, she'd thought to convince herself she was only halfway in love with the man when in truth her feelings for Ewan ran deeper than she'd ever thought possible. Even when he'd shared her bed, she'd ignored how his every caress had made her heart swell with happiness. When she'd awoken this morning, she'd considered herself reckless as to how blatantly she'd offered herself to Ewan last night.

Now she understood it hadn't been reckless desire that had made her so bold. Without realizing it, her actions had been those of a woman giving her heart to a man. Now he intended to send her away. If last night had meant nothing more to him than a tumble, she'd lost far more than her self-respect. She'd given her heart freely only to have it flung back in her face in the most humiliating manner possible.

The sudden memory of his passionate kiss just before he'd dismissed her and ordered her out of his house filled her head. He'd held her so tightly against him only to shove her away. Surely her deception could not have changed things between them so quickly. No, she couldn't believe that. Every time he touched or kissed her was a silent confession of his feelings. He cared for her. She was certain of it.

Yet only moments ago, the Beast of Argaty had taken control of him once more. She'd accused Ewan of not facing his demons, and with the stubbornness of a hard-headed Scot, he'd denied the charges. The only explanation for the change was that he believed the Beast of Argaty had nothing to offer her, when all she wanted was his heart. Instead of facing the monsters inside him, he'd chosen to solve his problem by sending her away. Almost as cruel was his determination to send Ross away to school.

Louisa closed her eyes as her stomached lurched at the raw emotions assaulting her. What was she going to do? She'd failed to live up to the Rockwood family's battle cry of never admitting defeat. But that failure paled in comparison to her inability to capture the heart of the man she loved.

How could she help Ewan fight his demons if he refused to even acknowledge them? More tears pushed against her eyelids, before a soft knock penetrated her despair. Quickly pushing herself away from the support of the bedroom door, she blinked her tears away.

She refused to display anything but serene dignity until she was alone in her room at Callendar Abbey. There she would have the privacy to cry her heart out for what she had lost. Hurrying toward the armoire she took a brief moment to compose herself and opened the doors to the wardrobe.

"Come in."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Morehouse. Mrs. Selkirk said ye needed help packing."

The recognizable sound of Maggie's voice made Louisa look over her shoulder. Standing beside her was Hilda, and both of them were eying her with avid curiosity. Behind them was Finn carrying one of her trunks. Word had spread fast about her departure. As Finn set her trunk down, Louisa thanked him then proceeded to direct Maggie to begin packing her dresses, while she led Hilda to Charlie's and William's room.

More than an hour later Louisa was bent over her portmanteau when Wallis MacCullaich walked through the open doorway of her room. Ewan's aunt had a look of great consternation on her face as she swiftly closed the distance between them.

"Mrs. Selkirk said you were leaving." The statement was more of a question, and Louisa jerked her head in a sharp nod of confirmation

"Lord Argaty has discovered I'm not quite the woman I presented myself to be when I first came to the keep." She drew in a sharp breath then released it as she remembered Ewan angrily addressing her as Lady Westbrook.

"Then he's learned you're the widow of a viscount," the older woman mused softly almost as if to herself. The remark made Louisa stare at Wallis in amazement.

"How did—"

"Young master William has a tendency to share things he shouldn't when he's distracted." Wallis said with a gentle smile as she waved her hand at Louisa's gasp of horror. "I've known since the second week your children arrived at the keep. Wills was watching me make a poultice for a nasty cut Finn had. The moment he revealed your secret, I swore I would remain silent."

"But why? Why didn't you tell Ew—Lord Argaty or the countess?"

"Because of Ross and the memory of another little boy." A look of deep sadness lined the woman's face before she eyed Louisa with a look of gratitude. "Ross is the happiest I've ever seen him, and even Ewan has begun to emerge from his tower. All of that is due solely to you. We both know Ewan would never have agreed to offer you the position of governess if he'd known the truth about your social standing. Your obvious affection for the boy convinced me to say nothing. I knew your heart was in the right place when it came to hiding who you really were."

Louisa stared at the woman for a moment as tears formed in the back of her throat. Unable to speak, she simply shook her head in disagreement and turned away to set her portmanteau with two trunks packed with her things.

"Give him a few hours until his anger has eased, Lady Westbrook. I'm certain we can persuade him to let you stay. My—Ewan received some disturbing news this morning that has unsettled him greatly."

"Is that why he's decided to send Ross away to school?" Louisa choked out as she stared down at the baggage that emphasized the reality of her departure.

"Ewan's sending Ross away?" Wallis gasped loudly, and Louisa turned to face the other woman who was pale with dismayed horror.

"Ew—Lord Argaty said he's leaving the keep and will not be back for some time."

"He mustn't do that," Wallis exclaimed softly with a look of anguish. "He needs to stay and fight."

"Fight?" Bewildered, Louisa stared at the older woman in confusion. With a dismissive shake of her head, Wallis reached out to squeeze Louisa's hand.

"I will not allow her to drive him away. I cannot. He's suffered enough already." The woman murmured to herself as a look of determination replaced the sadness on her face. "I will speak to him. I will try to persuade him to remain at Argaty Keep and not send Ross, or you, away."