Page 56 of The Beastly Earl

"I have already said what I intend to do, unless you would like me to notify the authorities as to the strong probability that Gilbert has killed two women."

"You wouldn't dare," Lady Argaty gasped.

On the floor, Gilbert made an ominous sound, and Ewan glanced down at the man whose face was made all the more hideous by anger as he scowled up at Ewan. With a shake of his head, Ewan looked back at Lady Argaty.

"Do not test my patience, my lady," he said coldly. "I will see to it that your son is well-cared for and in conditions befitting any human being, but he will not remain at Argaty Keep."

Ewan spun around and walked out of the dowager countess's sitting room. He was almost at the door to the dowager's suite, when a hand touched his arm. For a moment, he almost shrugged off the light touch, but something compelled him to halt. Slowly, he turned around to meet Wallis MacCullaich's sorrow-filled gaze.

"Yes, Aunt Wallis?" No sooner had he spoken than he flinched. A small, sad smile tilted the corners of her mouth slightly.

"I do not expect you to call me mother, Ewan," she said softly as she stepped forward and reached up to touch his cheek. When he flinched again, she quickly pulled her hand away. "I will not ask anything of you, but when you are ready, I will tell you everything and answer whatever questions you wish to ask me."

As he stared down into her face, childhood memories of his aunt's patience and loving manner raced through his head. It all made sense now, but he wasn't sure he could forgive her not telling him the truth. Why hadn't she told him the truth when he had come of age? It was only one of several questions he wanted answered, but he needed time to think. Ewan nodded his head, and without a word walked out of the dowager countess's suite.

Chapter 15

The bedroom door snapped closed behind Ewan with a quiet click. Asadi had been asleep on the threshold, but had stirred the moment Ewan reached his bedroom door. With a sharp command, he'd ordered the boy to go back to sleep. For a long moment, he remained frozen with his back against the door then crossed the room to stare out the window.

Dawn had surrendered to a new day as sunlight danced across the moors he loved. It was land he'd thought his without challenge until this morning. The thought made his hand clench around the drapes framing the window. He'd been wrong. Argaty Keep, its lands, and title all belonged to Gilbert. A man incapable of functioning in the real world, and in all likelihood a murderer.

The scenery outside the window slowly gave way to mental images of the dowager countess's malevolent features as she'd revealed the truth of his birth. Everything he'd believed as to who he was up until that moment had been ripped from him as viciously as the blade that had taken his arm. It wasn't just the lie that had him hanging in the wind like a criminal hanging from a gibbet. It was the betrayal. For years his mother and aunt had lied not just to everyone else as to who he really was, but they'd lied to him.

"Damn them to hell."

The words reverberated like a clap of thunder in the room. With a sudden, violent jerk he turned away from the window. For the first time in his life, everything made sense. All the questions he'd asked himself throughout his youth had been answered in a few short minutes. Ewan knew his antipathy for the dowager countess would make it easy to embrace the truth the woman wasn't his mother. Wallis MacCullaich was a different matter altogether.

Tension knotted his muscles as he remembered how often his aunt—no, his real mother—had comforted him as a child. Every time he'd suffered from Lady Argaty's cruel words and humiliation, Wallis MacCullaich had been there to comfort him. Every time he'd scraped a knee or been ill, she'd seen to his care. Even when he'd fallen from the stable rafters and broken his arm, his aunt had cared for him with a tenderness Lady Argaty had withheld from him.

There had even been times when he'd secretly wished Wallis had been his mother. Those moments of secret longings had been quickly followed by guilt for wishing such a thing. He'd grown up thinking he was responsible for being a disappointment to his mother, when in actuality he'd been nothing more than a constant reminder to Lady Argaty as to how her sister and husband had betrayed her.

In some ways it was almost a relief to know why the dowager hated him so much. It was an emotion he understood. The woman had introduced him to the emotion when he'd returned home for those two miserable days after Agnes's death. Lady Argaty's deliberate arrangement of his marriage to a woman she knew carried another man's child had obliterated the last vestige of affection he'd had for the woman. The dowager had nearly destroyed him that day and had sentenced Ross to a life as miserable as Ewan's own childhood.

Guilt sped through him at the thought. That wasn't true. He, and he alone, was responsible for Ross being deprived of affection or even kindness. The only blame Ewan could lay at the dowager's feet were her actions and words that had served as the catalyst for his treatment of Ross. The pound of flesh he'd been extracting from the boy he'd claimed as his own was all the more reprehensible because he knew what it was like to grow up without the love of a parent. Ewan's treatment of the boy made him no better than Lady Argaty.

Ewan flinched violently at the realization before a violent rage surged through his limbs. Fury pounded its way through his veins as he reached for a ladderback chair a few feet away from him. Fingers wrapped tightly around the first rung, he imagined the wood was Lady Argaty neck. If she were standing in front of him now, he wouldn't hesitate to squeeze the life out of the woman until her neck snapped. But she wasn't here.

"Fuck."

Pain and humiliation filled his shout of anger, which was followed by the crash of wood splintering against a stone wall. The sound of the door opening made him stiffen.

"Do you need—"

"Get out, Asadi," he roared.

Seconds later he heard the door click shut behind the boy. In the back of his head he registered the fact that it was the first time Asadi hadn't tried to argue with him. He growled a quiet sound of regret at having taken his rage out on the boy. Asadi was no more to blame for the state of Ewan's affairs than Ross was. Both boys simply wanted to please him.

The thought made him bow his head in shame. He understood far too well the desperate desire to please someone. The need for his mother's approval had driven him to marry Agnes. It had gained him nothing except humiliation. Lady Argaty had nearly brought him to his knees when she'd explained how she'd arranged his marriage to a woman carrying another man's child. Until this morning, he'd never thought it possible the dowager could emotionally eviscerate him ever again as when she'd forced him to publicly claim Ross as his son.

Drawing in a deep breath, Ewan moved to the fireplace and used the poker to viciously stoke the red-glowing coals until they erupted into flames. When he'd finished, he sank down into a chair in front of the hearth. An image of Louisa's face danced in the flames as he remembered waking up beside her this morning.

The peace he'd experience holding her in his arms last night had been ripped from him by Lady Argaty's revelation. Everything had changed, and the future was uncertain. If the dowager were to announce he wasn't her son, he would have no choice but to confirm the fact. No matter what Aunt Wal—his real mother had said the dowager still held power over him.

Even if he were to convince himself to continue living a lie, the constant threat of Lady Argaty revealing the secret of his birth would be intolerable. It would give her power over him, and that he would never allow. His ignorance of the truth had placed him under her thumb for too long.

The thought of being labeled a bastard was unpleasant, but it wouldn't be any worse than the revulsion he encountered every time he went out in public. The loss of his title, no Gilbert's title, was one he could adjust to. The real pain and humiliation would be the assault on his honor. There would be many who would question whether he'd known the truth of his illegitimacy all along.

As a member of the Black Watch his conduct wouldn't simply be a stain on his character, it would be a reflection on his father, the tenants of the earldom, and the people he cared about in the keep. The damage to his honor would be irreparable.