Page 72 of Knot Now Knot Ever

His words crashed into me like waves on the shore before a storm. I struggled to keep my head above water and not to let it sweep me away and out to sea, but I was no match. There wasn’t anything left to do but surrender and allow the current to carry me where it will. The storm in my heart seemed to calm the moment I stopped fighting and acknowledged the truth.

“I love you, too, Eli,” I admitted, smiling as more tears slipped out. “And I wish I’d been brave enough to find you and the others sooner.”

“None of that matters… we found each other when it was the right time. I wouldn’t have been willing to worry about myself if I were still caring for my sister. Our pack needed time to become the people we are today before it would work, or that’s what I choose to believe,” Eli admitted, stroking my hair. “What we need to do now is focus on all the time we get to spend with each other because this is only the beginning.”

Eli pulled a blanket over us, and we snuggled together, soaking in the moment. As I lay there, I concluded it was time to face some things I’d been avoiding in therapy for years. When I was free to find my phone, I planned to reach out to Dr. Barnett and find out if she had any connections with a therapist in Windermere. Besides, I’d need a contact here to get my medication refilled. Well, maybe it could wait until tomorrow. I was far too comfortable in my Alpha’s arms to even think about moving.

As it turns out, I hadn’t been the only one to consider finding a local therapist. Tanner reached out to his therapist and explained a little about my situation, hoping he’d have a suggestion. The following morning I was presented with a list after we cleared up breakfast.

“Lyra, whatever you decide to do with these names is completely up to you,” Tanner prefaced before handing it over. “My goal was to help by giving you a place to start if you feel up to finding a new therapist. I know you’ve been with yours for years, and the trust you’ve built together is invaluable. Hell, send the list to her and see if she knows any of them.”

I read over the four names listed, and one stuck out to me. “I actually reached out to Dr. Barnett last night asking for suggestions. She sent me two names, one of which happens to be this doctor.”

“Dr. Hadley Mann,” Zachary read aloud, peering over my shoulder. “Seems like it’s a good sign if both people recommended her.”

“Looks like she has her practice here in the city. According to the address listed on her website, her office is located in one of the high rises off Thirty-Second Street. Hmm… the parking garage is across the street. I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Pascal shared, mumbling that last part to himself.

“Is there a contact number on the site?” Eli asked, phone in hand.

“Wait,” I snapped, as my anxiety shot through the roof. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, and I know you’re only trying to be helpful, but you’re all moving way too fast. It took me months to find Dr. Barnett after I was too old to keep seeing my previous therapist. This isn’t like seeing a normal doctor once a year for a physical. I have to be comfortable talking to her about my deepest, darkest secrets.”

The room fell silent as everyone considered what I’d just said. Fawn watched the whole interaction cross-legged on the counter, munching out of a bowl of the leftover fruit from breakfast.

Pascal was the first to break the tension as he slid his laptop over to me. “Here is her website. I’ve got two other tabs open with a background check and another searching for any disciplinary actions that might be on her license to practice.”

Fawn immediately started to cough, choking on whatever he’d just tried to swallow. Tanner slapped him on the back until Fawn gave him the all-clear. “Passie, I’m not a lawyer, but looking up those two things might not be legal.”

“It’s my duty as an Alpha to make sure my Omegas are safe. How can I know that unless I have all the information?” Pascal countered.

Raising a hand, Fawn started to say something but changed his mind and shrugged. “I got nothing.”

Tuning them out, I looked over the website and found the tab that showed me her picture. Dr. Mann appeared to be in her forties, had been practicing for twenty-two years, and specialized in panic disorders and those suffering from PTSD. Dr. Mann’s hair was cut short with an edgy pixie cut, warm green eyes, and a kind smile. On her ‘About Me’ page, I discovered she was forty-six and a bonded Beta with a pack she’d been with for twenty-four years. She even had a few clinical papers published and won an advocacy award for her work with abused women.

After looking at the background check and not seeing anything flagged, the information matched what was on her website. Nothing showed up in the search for disciplinary action which made me feel better. Back on her site, I saw a free thirty-minute session was offered to new clients. I clicked on the page and found the only opening she had was tomorrow before noon.

“Take it,” Zachary encouraged, resting his hands on my shoulders. “It’s better to find out sooner if things will work out or if you need to keep looking. The moving company will be dropping stuff off tomorrow, so there’s nothing exciting you’ll be missing.”

“I still need to pick a room,” I reminded him.

“Which we’re going to do as soon as you’re done here, so book the appointment, honey bear,” Zachary countered, then kissed my head.

He was right. It’s better to just bite the bullet and see how things go. I’m sure I could get Dr. Barnett to provide a refill this time since I’d just moved if needed. Letting out the breath I’d been holding, I clicked the appointment and filled in the information needed along with the patient intake form. Then I sent one more email to Dr. Barnett, letting her know I was reaching out to Dr. Mann should she need any of my files.

“Done,” I announced, closing the laptop. “Now, onto something more fun.”

Zachary offered me his hand to help me off the stool, causing me to grin at his chivalry. “Where would you like to start? There is one room left on the fifth floor, three rooms on the fourth, and one more on the second after Eli claimed the other.”

“Hmm,” I considered, knowing the second floor would feel too crowded, so that was a no-go. When I thought about being on the top floor, I liked the idea, but I feared I’d feel bad for encroaching on Fawn’s space. “Fourth floor,” I decided.

“I know just where to start,” Pascal said, smiling as he settled an arm around my hips. “There was a second space we thought about setting up the nest on that floor, but Fawn made the final call.”

“Only because the room I picked didn’t have as many windows, making it cozier,” Fawn interjected. “When you’re in heat, you need to feel protected with dim lighting.”

“No one is saying you picked the wrong room, cub,” Zachary assured Fawn, snatching him up in a hug. “You’re the Omega and the only one who knows what will work best. We Alphas are a lost cause when it comes to stuff like that.”

Fawn was pacified by Zachary’s response and the toe-curling kiss that had my pussy clenching just watching. Although it might also have something to do with our bond, the way Fawn was smirking. That had me thinking as we all made our way up the stairs. Did Fawn feel Eli and I having sex last night? Would I know when he was having sex? There was still so much to figure out with all that, and I wasn’t sure how I’d handle feeling all five of them as clearly as I do Fawn.

Once on the fourth floor, Pascal took my hand, leading me down the hall past the double doors to the nest and two more doors on either side until we reached another set of French doors. Pascal released my hand to block the door with his body. “Close your eyes.”