Page 37 of Knot Now Knot Ever

“I-I was afraid,” I admitted.

Tanner’s brows snapped together. “Of us?”

“Yes… and no,” I said, trying to figure out how to explain things without having to rip open old wounds. “I’m terrified that if I let you in and we bond, I’ll end up a shattered mess that can never be fixed.”

“I’m sorry, starlight, I don’t understand. Why would one lead to the other?” Tanner pressed.

My voice froze as my throat tightened, thinking of the husk of a human my mother had been after losing my fathers. There had been no life left in her. She’d become a robot fueled by anger and pain. It had taken me a long time to forgive her for how she’d treated me and for leaving me behind to face the world on my own.

“Do you want me to tell him?” Fawn asked.

I turned to see Eli sitting with his back to the headboard and Fawn curled up in his lap as they watched. Both of these men knew parts of my story, Eli more so, but Fawn didn’t need to hear my pain to understand it. Fawn might have chosen to leave home at a young age, but it doesn’t mean his struggles were any less because of that difference.

“Fawnie, I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate that, but I need Lyra to be the one to explain,” Tanner commented, not taking his eyes off me. “No matter what you say, starlight, it won’t change the fact you and I are a match. I know people argue if it’s real or just biology, some deep-buried instinct we’ve never evolved from. None of that means shit to me. Do you want to know why?”

Curious, I nodded.

Tanner leaned down and let his lips caress my neck, his warm breath making me shiver with need. I wanted to feel more of his touch, so I bared my throat to him and let out a soft whine as my hands reached for Tanner. He understood what I was looking for and yanked off his T-shirt, leaving his chest bare. My breath was shaky as I let my hands run along his chest, feeling the contours of his body.

“Tell me, starlight, do you really think biology is behind what you’re feeling right now?” Tanner murmured in my ear. “I refuse to believe that it’s by chance you were born with the perfect combinations of cells that resonate with mine. The way I feel right now, breathing in your scent and basking in your touch, tells me this was no accident. How else can you explain the instantaneous understanding that you’re mine and I am yours if not for a soul-deep connection?”

As Tanner spoke, I pulled him down so he was now covering my body with his. I even hitched a leg up to hook around his body, keeping him trapped against me. The only thing that could make me feel even better would be to have his cock buried deep in my pussy locked together by his knot. God, how I missed sex.

“Lyra, when was your last heat?” Tanner demanded, his sultry tone gone.

“Hmm?” I asked, my brain not comprehending his words.

Tanner pulled back and went so far as to get off the bed. “Lyra, you’re perfuming like crazy. Are you close to having a heat?”

Frowning, I pushed myself up so I could see Tanner better. “Where’s my phone? I need to look. I keep track of them on my calendar.”

Fawn scrambled out of Eli’s lap, presumably in search of my phone. Both Alphas watched me with heated looks, and finally, my brain snapped into focus. “Oh God, I shouldn't be going into heat. I have another month at least before it should start.”

“How many do you have a year?” Eli asked through gritted teeth.

“Three, sometimes four. It changed after my surgery,” I blurted, then slapped a hand over my mouth.

The room went still at my words, but the tension was broken as Fawn returned with Zachary and Pascal in tow.

“Hey, guys…” Zachary started to say, but his words tapered off so he could take an inhale. “Holy fuck, Lyra, are you going into heat?”

Fawn leaped onto the bed and offered me my phone. I quickly opened the app and discovered my calculations were off. My heat was due in two weeks, but I’d been warned as an Omega, meeting your scent matches can throw everything into chaos.

“I-I need to go,” I stammered and rolled off the bed.

It wasn’t often I used my size against others, but there was no way in hell I was going to let my Omega bolt out of here with a terrified expression on her face. Whipping out an arm, I caught her around the waist and hauled her against my chest. Stunned, Lyra froze, but the second that wore off, she tried to wriggle her way out of my hold.

“Lyra, enough,” I barked, adding in a touch of an Alpha tone to cut through the fear.

Her scent was mouthwatering this close, but it was tainted with her fear and kept me from being overwhelmed by the enticing perfume. I glanced at Tanner, who seemed a little strung out, and Eli was wound tighter than a spring, ready to explode at any second.

“I’m taking her to the living room. You two get your shit together, then join us,” I instructed.

Pascal raised a brow in question, not accustomed to seeing me call the shots. Just because I didn’t feel the need to be the boss outside of the bedroom doesn’t mean I can’t. I jerked my head, signaling for him to head out, but he raised a finger and told me to wait a second.

Not a moment later, Fawn was leaping onto Pascal’s back, hugging the man from behind. “I missed you, Passie,” Fawn said, nuzzling his Alpha’s neck.

“I missed you too, little bro. Looks like you’ve had a rather busy day,” Pascal said as he looped his arms around Fawn’s legs and carried him out of the room piggyback style.