Page 1 of Knot Now Knot Ever

Afresh start, that’s what everyone kept telling me I needed. To get away from all the things that would remind me of them. What people didn’t know was I was well acquainted with loss. Leaving the pain behind was impossible because memories always stuck with you.

So here I sat in a new, strange apartment located in a different city that was thousands of miles and states away from those I’d lost. Then again, one could say they were never really mine. If they were, I wouldn’t have been forced out of their home and life. Grief and bitterness welled up in me to the point I could almost taste it, all sour and acrid on the back of my tongue.

Being surrounded by a sea of boxes I hadn’t had the energy to unpack didn’t help either. After three wonderful years with them, I was once again… alone. I’d been so hopeful, taking my time to find a pack that was created because we all genuinely cared for one another. We’d started as friends in college, then slowly became more through mutual agreement, and not because biology told us we had to. None of us had registered with the Scent Matchers, choosing to be free from their control and dictatorship. We had something stronger than pheromones binding us together—or so I thought.

With a brisk brush of my hand, I wiped away the tear rolling down my cheek. I’d cried enough, and it wasn’t going to change anything. They’d made their choice and caved to the societal norm the second those bastards told me I wasn’t good enough to be their Omega anymore. Shoving to my feet, I started hunting for the box that held my heels. Everything had been such a blur. The company packed up all my things, so I wasn’t able to make detailed notes on what was inside.

“They have to be somewhere in here,” I muttered, yanking open another box marked bedroom. “I can’t show up to my new job wearing a dress and running shoes, or worse, flip-flops.”

Everything had happened so suddenly, and I’d been given one week to move my things out of their home. Thank God for Elora, my best friend, who let me crash at her place while I figured out my next move. She’s a rather famous singer and isn’t home much, but she managed to get three days to be there as I sobbed my heart out. Elora had offered her home to me as long as I needed it, but I couldn’t do that to her, not after all she’d done. So I got down to business once she left to start promoting her newly released record. First, I needed to find a new job because not only had we created a family together, but we started a business.

Thankfully, I wasn’t one of the key components of the company they couldn’t replace. My skills were in organization, problem-solving, and managing the staff who did the day-to-day basics. I’d gone to school for business management and marketing, which was how I met the Alphas I’d created a pack with. Unlike many Omegas, I’d always worked and had a decent resume to send out, which gave me quite a few opportunities. There had been three job offers for me to choose between, but I picked the one that would get me the farthest away from the men who claimed to love me. Plus, this offer came with a relocation package, which included an apartment for me to move into right away, making it possible for everything to be settled all at once.

“Gotcha,” I cheered, unearthing my favorite pair of heels underneath my winter coats, hats, and gloves. “Why the hell would they randomly put three pairs of heels in this box? It makes no sense.”

Brushing my honey-blonde hair out of my face, I looked up at the clock. “Shit,” I swore, knowing the car they were sending for me would arrive in five minutes.

Hopping as I got the heels on, I hurried into the bathroom to finish my makeup. Never one to overdo it in the makeup department, I preferred to keep things simple and professional. My therapist told me it was because I craved control far too much to risk going outside what I trusted. Personally, I didn’t like to waste time when there were more important things to deal with. Biting my lower lip, I leaned in as I swiped on my mascara, making sure to get all the baby lashes. Confident I hadn’t missed any, I took a step back and did a once-over of the whole look.

The dress was a rich caramel color in thick tweed that hit just below the knee. I’d paired it with a blazer, which was a few shades darker, pulling out the warm tones of my pale skin and honey-blonde hair. My eyes were a contrast to my neutral look, being a vibrant cerulean blue. They were the same color as my mother’s, and every time I saw them, memories of that night returned to play over and over again. While I’d never said this to my many therapists, the real reason I didn’t bother with much makeup was so I didn’t have to look at myself for long. I snatched up my favorite pink-tinted lip gloss from the counter and turned my back on the mirror.

“That’s enough of that.” I sighed, brushing my fingers through my hair to tame the bangs I had almost grown out. “Now I need my phone, purse, and coat.”

Removing my new phone from the charger on my nightstand, I headed into the living room. My purse was right where I left it on the kitchen counter next to the bottle of pills I’d picked up last night from the pharmacy. It had been two years since I’d had to take these, but now that I was without my safety net and support, my therapist felt it was best.

“It’s too many changes all at once, Lyra. I’m not saying you’ll need to be on them forever, but you’ve made so much progress I’d hate for you to lose that. Please get the prescription filled so you have them if needed,” Dr. Barnett pleaded.

With a frustrated growl, I tossed them in my purse and grabbed my coat. It was early spring, and the morning air still had a chill to it. Where I’d been living, snow was clinging to the ground, making it hard for me to accept I might not need the jacket in addition to the blazer. My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out to see a message from the driver—he’d arrived. With my purse securely on my shoulder, I grabbed the doorknob to the front door but couldn’t bring myself to turn it.

“Come on, Lyra, you can do this,” I said, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “Yes, Windermere is a major metropolitan city that’s bigger and ten times busier than Rockton. A positive mark for this city was its great public transportation, and it was one of the pros on your list. Now take a deep breath, acknowledge your anxiety and fear, but remember it cannot be allowed to hinder or dictate your life.”

Eyes still closed, I turned the doorknob and pulled the door toward me, and only then could I open my eyes. Stealing my shoulders, I stepped into the hallway, shut the door, and heard the automatic door lock engage. Anger started to burn in my stomach as I walked down the hall, furious over what had just happened. How pathetic am I? I’m thirty years old and can’t open my damn door without panicking. No wonder they kicked me out when a better option presented itself to them.

Stabbing my finger into the elevator button, I waited for it to arrive. When it opened, a man was there reading something on his phone and didn’t even bother to look up. Works for me. I wouldn’t be pleasant company or give a great first impression right now. Leaning back in the corner of the elevator, I watched the numbers flash by as we went down fifteen floors to the lobby. Another woman joined us on the way down, flashing me a smile I attempted to return but was pretty sure I had failed.

You need to get the hell out of this funk immediately, Lyra. Right now, everything is emotional, and my issues are worse because of it. Take a deep breath or this car ride will send you directly to the hospital, and that would be harder to explain.

We exited the elevator, but I paused to take out my pill bottle. No sense in trying to do this day without help. It’s better just to take a pill now, and once I’m a little more adjusted, start tapering off. Work will help because I’ll have a purpose once again, and that will ground me.

Not needing water for the small pill, I swallowed it and glared at my distorted reflection in the polished elevator doors. “Clearly, you’ve forgotten that you once lived on your own from the age of thirteen to twenty. That was hell, and this is not. Now square up, buttercup.”

Feeling like I had a handle on myself, I strode through the lobby and out the front door.

The doorman nodded his greeting and gestured to the black limo parked at the curb. “They’re here for you, Miss Clark.”

It amazed me how the man already knew my name after moving in two days ago. He followed me over to the car and opened the door. “Thank you, Lewis. I hope you have a good day.”

Lewis smiled and tipped his hat before closing the door.

“I knew you’d have a sweet disposition,” a woman’s soft voice said from across the car. “My son needs a firm but gentle spirit to keep him on track.”

Snapping my head forward, I spotted a woman I’d never met before dressed in a rather elegant pants suit, one leg crossed over the other. I knew it was high-end by the quality of the fabric and the golden buttons. Her dark blonde hair had streaks of silver and fell in flowing layers to her shoulders, making me wonder if it was as soft as it looked. Light green eyes watched me with interest but gave off a friendly energy.

“Hello, Miss Clark, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Jolene Thatcher,” she greeted with a smile, deepening the wrinkles around her eyes, betraying how often she smiled.

Recognition of her name had me scrambling. “Mrs. Thatcher, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you would be picking me up. You didn’t wait on me too long, did you?”

“Not long at all, so don’t fret about it a bit, darling,” Mrs. Thatcher assured me. “You’ve only just moved, and I’m making you start work right away. I should be the one apologizing.”