Page 25 of One for the Money

This time, I took both hands, clasped them together, and gave one last Hail Mary move. I feared I might have broken her ribs, but none of that mattered as she gasped for air. Her whole body bowed as her honey-brown eyes snapped open.

“Thank fuck!” I sighed, helping her up so I could sit behind her. “You’re all right, Von… everything’s going to be fine. I know this sounds crazy, but I need you to slow your breathing down for me. Follow me… in through the nose, out through the mouth,” I instructed, breathing along with her. “Good, we’re going to keep doing that until your adrenaline calms down enough to let you breathe normally.”

Just as she was starting to calm down, the door to my room was kicked in, and there stood Bear. The look of rage on his face told me I’d be getting my wish to leave this life behind sooner than expected.

Air, sweet, sweet air, how I love thee.

My appreciation over being able to breathe once more was short-lived as familiar hands reached out and yanked me from Erik. There was an oomph from Erik after what sounded like a boot making contact with his chest. Twisting, I tried to look, but Bear was not having it and turned away, leaving the room. He carried me to his room and didn’t put me down until I was in the shower.

My legs were a little wobbly after the epic fuck and blackout I’d just gone through, so I slid down the tile wall until I was sitting on the bench. With how my lungs were burning, I could confidently say I wasn’t focused on how bad my side ached for the time being. Gingerly, I ran my fingers along my throat, feeling the bruised area where Erik’s hand had been.

Fuck, that had been an amazing experience. There had only been two other people who made me come that hard from just using their dick. One of which reappeared in the shower naked, hard, and fucking pissed.

“What were you thinking, Von? How could you allow yourself to be in a vulnerable position? He fucking choked you out. What if he didn’t save you? What if the bastard let you die so he could escape after getting his dick wet?” Bear raged, his hands moving so fast in his anger I was having trouble keeping up.

He pushed his way between my legs so he towered over me. Bear’s eyes were naturally dark, but right now, they looked like soulless voids ready to swallow me whole. “I love how fearless you are and trust when you make choices others would call reckless. But this… this was fucking asinine. How dare you risk your life for something so basic as sex. If you needed to get fucked that badly, my cock is yours to use… just say the word.”

Over the years, Bear and I had gotten into fights, some uglier than others. However, I’d never seen him this enraged before. He knew I slept around, but while he didn’t like it and probably killed off a few of them, he’d never said anything to me directly.

“Yes, I wanted to get off, but that wasn’t the only reason I did it,” I offered, not sure what else to say. This was uncharted waters. I stayed out of his business when it came to sex, and for the most part, he did the same for me. So what changed?

“What was the other reason?” Bear demanded.

My brows furrowed, and not that I was over the shock of him chewing my ass out about this, my anger flickered to life. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, Bear. Did you forget that I’m the boss bitch around here? This home, the land it’s built on, the money you get paid for doing your job, that’s all mine. I choose to share it with you, but don’t for one second think because you’re my right-hand man you have any claim to it.”

I tried to get up, but Bear’s hand settled on my shoulder and shoved me back down. His lips curled back as he growled at me. “Is that what you think I want out of this? Von, I know you’re not that stupid, so don’t insult me or yourself by pretending to be. Just so we’re clear, if you think I’m giving up my spot at your side to someone else because of money or power, then you don’t know me at all.” His face softened slightly as he traced the mark on my neck that I’m sure was turning a pretty shade of reddish-purple. “You could be broke, living on the streets, stealing to survive for all I care. What I want is to be your shadow, the monster lurking in the dark, keeping you safe from those who would dare to harm you.”

Dropping to his knees, Bear looked deep into my eyes, bearing his soul to me. “Von, you are my reason to exist in the world. When I thought I was going to lose you, I knew I had to do everything I could to keep you alive because, if not, then the world and the people in it didn’t need to survive either. What would be the point of there being life if you weren’t part of it?”

Everything he was saying felt like a sucker punch to my gut. Here he was baring his soul to me, and all I could do was panic. For the second time today, I felt like my lungs couldn’t get enough oxygen, no matter how hard I tried. Bear had heard bits and pieces about Him, but I’d never told anyone the whole story. Memories of the man who had said similar things to me as I lay broken and beaten at his feet flooded my brain. My body started to shiver as I was sucked into the nightmare that had been my introduction into the real darkness of the criminal world.

Hands grabbed me, and I screamed. Then I was thrashing, clawing, biting, doing whatever it took to get away from the devil himself who claimed to love me. What he did wasn’t love, no matter how he tried to frame it or twist my view to believe this pain was from a place of caring. He’d spent almost two years stripping away everything from me until all that was left became a feral, mindless beast. Unfortunately for him, the beast he’d tried so hard to create so he could use it as a weapon turned on its master. The thing people forget is when you take away anything and everything that ever mattered, there’s nothing left to fear. So if things didn’t go as planned and there wasn’t the option of freedom, death would be the next best thing.

A blast of freezing cold water hit me, cutting off my screams and halting my efforts to fight back. The sting of a hand slapping my back caused me to gasp, sucking in air and soothing the burn in my lungs.

“That’s it, little siren, breathe. Don’t think about anything else and focus on your breathing,” Erik soothed, brushing wet hair out of my face. I met his gaze, and it was filled with authentic worry, something I’d never expected to see from him. “Welcome back.”

Confused, I looked around for Bear and found him just outside the shower, pressing gauze over his left eye. His shoulders, chest, and upper arms were covered in scratches and bite marks that were freely bleeding. My gaze dropped to my hands, which were covered in blood with broken nails and new bruises appearing on my wrists and forearms.

“Oh my God, what have I done?” I sobbed.

“Hey, don’t you dare start beating yourself up,” Erik ordered, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look at him. “You were in the midst of a PTSD attack and didn’t know it was Bear who was touching you. He’s going to be fine. There’s nothing a few stitches can’t fix.”

Unbidden tears rolled down my cheeks as my adrenaline came down, and guilt took its place. “It’s never been that bad before. I’ve always been able to keep it under control.”

“Hey, shh… it’s going to be fine. I’ve seen this a lot in my military buddies,” Erik murmured, pulling me into a hug and reaching up to make the water warmer. “Take your time, shower, collect yourself, and when you’re ready, come out to Bear’s bedroom. I’m gonna work on getting him patched up, so don’t rush.”

“Why the fuck are you being so nice to me?” I questioned as I pulled away. “You call me the insane one, but from where I’m sitting, you’re the one acting crazy.”

Erik regarded me for a moment before he stood and offered me a hand. “It’s hard to hate anyone when you see them trapped in a hell you’ve experienced before. I didn’t come away from my time in the military without my own battle scars, Von.”

I let him pull me to my feet, but Erik didn’t let go until he was sure I was steady. “As I’m sure you can understand, I expect you to forget this ever happened. If anyone finds out, I’ll slit your throat without a second thought.”

Erik’s lips twitched as he fought against a grin. “Good to see you’re bouncing back just fine. Now wash up. The last thing Bear needs is to see my cum leaking out of you and remind him that he was planning on killing me a few minutes ago.”

That had me looking down, and sure enough, there was a trail of whitish liquid on my inner thigh. I’m sure Erik was wondering why I wasn’t worried about the fact a random stranger jizzed inside me, but I had zero concerns about having kids. You’d have to have a uterus for that to happen, and He had it removed for my benefit, of course. Couldn’t risk your underaged pet getting pregnant, now could you? What would his wife think? Guess we’ll never know since I killed the bitch. Yup, right after I cut her husband into tiny pieces, all the while confessing his dirty sins. Somehow he’d been led to believe I might spare him if he did. I mean, I’d never trust the word of a seventeen-year-old you’d abused and manipulated, but then again, since I’m the one still alive, it makes sense.

Grabbing the skull-shaped loofah, I soaped up and scrubbed my skin unit it was bright pink and stung under the hot water. Any time I relived those years under his thumb, I couldn’t help but feel like his touch lingered on me. It’s part of the reason I got so many tattoos—it was the only way to keep myself from giving into the urge to cut away the tainted parts of my flesh. The sweet notes of jasmine and vanilla filled the air, accompanied by mahogany and earthy sage. It was the scent that Bear always picked and something I should have been able to recognize even in my panicked state.