Page 70 of Love & Power

Cedro chuckled. “Good to know some things never change, and she’s still mad as a hatter.”

“Did you want me to stick around too, or am I not on the list of trusted people?” Ivy asked, resting a hand on her hip.

Ryker gave her a confused look. “I didn’t ask because I assumed you were staying here until this was over. Unless you planned to go with Cedro?”

“No, I’m not going with Ced,” Ivy answered. “I apologize for jumping the gun and assuming I wasn’t welcome here.”

“Look, Ivy, it has nothing to do with who you are or what you do. I don’t trust Astin with anyone, sometimes not even my fellow lieutenants. It’s a problem I’m working on, but please don’t think my distrust is a reflection of my opinion of you as a person,” Ryker shared. “You are welcome to come up with us and stay on the third floor… there are extra rooms.”

“Thank you. I will happily take you up on that offer.” Ivy turned to Cedro and kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry you made the trip out here for nothing, but thank you for offering your assistance.”

“Preziosa,” Cedro said in a pleading tone.

I wasn’t sure of the meaning of the Nepreeian word, but I deduced it might be some term of endearment.

“Don’t,” Ivy snapped, her back to him. “I’m not doing this here. Now take what you need for the test and leave.”

Cedro let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping. “As you wish.”

Ryker and I exchanged confused looks, but neither of us wanted to add to the list of things we needed to worry about. Finally, my body felt like it would let me sleep, and I planned to get whatever rest I could. Once Astin knew what we discovered, there would be no rest until revenge for tonight’s events was accomplished.

twenty-seven

A warm breeze brushed over my skin as I sat on the patio wearing a silk robe, enjoying a cup of coffee Braxton made for me. I’d slept a deep, dreamless sleep, which I was incredibly thankful for. Typically, when things like last night happened, they triggered the dark memories Darkness kept hidden to herself. I knew she was there just under the surface, allowing me to detach from some of the emotions that would cripple me.

This was the first time I could honestly say I felt whole. There was a balance between the two of us leading to peace of mind. Normally, I would be lost and blind to what happened when Darkness took over. Now everything had changed. I could be me but also the darker version of myself at the same time. No longer did I feel the need to summon that part of myself—she was already there to do what had to be done. I’ll never understand why it took so much loss and heartache to get to this point, but all that mattered was that I’d found the balance of yin versus yang.

I hadn’t mentioned anything about this to the guys yet. I’d wanted a moment to myself to sit and absorb this new reality, so they left me to get ready for the day. There was so much freedom in not fearing myself or what I could possibly do to someone without ever remembering it. Darkness was never my enemy. She’d been the part of me that society believed to be too evil to show the world. Without ever giving me a chance to heal from the abuse of my training, it was decided to lock that evil away, allowing it to grow in resentment toward others.

The truth of the matter is I’m not a monster.

I’m a Raffa, which was something far more dangerous.

Then again, I wasn’t just any Raffa—I was the Raffa Family’s leader and the queen of the Caprioni Family. Those who feared me before I blossomed into my true calling should be afraid, so very afraid.

Standing, I leaned against the rail, looking over the courtyard below as someone entered my room. Calmly, I sipped my coffee, enjoying the bitter taste on my tongue, helping to wake me up. I’d shocked Braxton when I asked for it black, knowing I normally enjoyed it far sweeter and creamier. From this moment on, there would be no more indulging in small enjoyments until I got the satisfaction of watching the life bleed out of my enemies’ eyes. Each sip I took was a reminder of the bitter end they would face.

“Good morning, darling,” Ivy greeted as she joined me on the balcony. “I was surprised to see the guys up and about before ten. I figured you’d sleep late.”

“I slept enough,” I answered.

Ivy shifted to look at me as I continued staring at the property. “Something’s different,” Ivy murmured, gently turning my face to look at hers. She studied me with her crystal gaze, analyzing everything about my features. I just calmly looked back, curious to see what she’d say. If anyone outside of my men who would notice a change like this, it would be her.

“You decided, haven’t you?” Ivy murmured, dropping her hand. “When?”

“At Domenico’s party celebrating the new Don of the De Santis Family,” I answered.

She frowned for a moment, then I watched while understanding bloomed as Ivy guessed my plan. “What if they don’t all show up?”

“As long as the men who signed my parents’ death warrants are there, that’s all I care about. The rest I plan to leave to Von,” I admitted.

Laughter bubbled out of Ivy. “Oh, she’s going to love that. Does anyone else know?”

“No, but they will soon enough. I just needed to be sure first,” I explained.

“Sure of what?”

“That I was ready to accept the fact I would be known as the Bloody Raffa Queen who slaughtered two founding families in one night,” I confessed. “I’ve always wanted to be judged on my skills, intelligence, and the ability for my enemies never to see me coming until it’s too late. While I’ll be doing all those things, the only thing people will talk about is the fact there was a massacre, bodies littered the floor, and blood painted the walls.”