Page 18 of Love & Power

“Fredi,” Renato gasped, horror written all over his face.

He started back to the table, but I stood, freeing my gun from its holster, and aimed it at the man. “Take one more step, and there will be a bullet in your brain, saving your wife the trouble of doing it herself later.”

Renato dropped to his knees, sobbing. “Fredi, don’t do this.”

“Lazzaro,” Frediano barked, rising from his seat.

A hulking giant of a man who might give Ralph a run for his money entered the room. “Yes, Don Raffa?”

“Remove Mr. Pisano from my sight. Have two men escort him home and stand witness as he confesses his sins to his wife,” Frediano ordered, then turned his gaze to Renato. “As the priest says during mass, you’re only as sinful as your secrets. Well, now’s your chance, Ren… free yourself from the burden of being an adulterer who’s been in a secret relationship with a man for over forty years. Although, I doubt it will save you.”

Turning his back on the scene, my grandfather strode into the courtyard. I placed a hand on Liu’s shoulder, pulling his attention away from the screaming man. “I’m going after him,” I said. “He shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“Go, I’ll tell the others,” Liu assured me, kissing the back of my hand. “Just keep in mind, omae, the two of you are more alike than you realize.”

With a quick nod, I moved quickly, exiting the dining room with Beatrice as my shadow. There was only one path to exit the courtyard, with the walls of the monastery boxing it in. The path led me to a large garden with miles of pasture land beyond. Scanning the area, I couldn’t see where he’d gone, but there was a cobblestone path off to the left. My pursuit slowed as I discovered heels and centuries-old cobblestone didn’t mix well.

I continued down the path even as it veered away from the main house toward a barn-like structure. There was no sign anyone entered the barn, so I walked around it until a cemetery was revealed. A wrought iron fence surrounded it, but the entrance was clearly marked with a gated archway. One side of the gate had been pulled open, confirming what I’d guessed. Quickly, I removed my shoes to walk through the thick, well-maintained grass, fearing my heels would sink in the soft soil. Inside the cemetery were rows and rows of cross headstones on one half and more varied types on the other. Taking an educated guess that the crosses were for the monks who’d been here originally, I headed to the right.

When I got to a slight hill, I spotted the man I’d been looking for kneeling next to a grave marker that looked like an angel with its wings spread out. As I got closer, I could hear him talking, making me hesitate to interrupt.

“I was such a fool, my angel. You warned me, told me he’d never risk his reputation to be with me openly. After I lost you, I thought I’d be fine keeping it to ourselves as long as he loved me. I suppose I was, for a time, taking comfort in the stolen moments we had as I grieved. Oh, my angel, why were you taken from me so soon?” Frediano demanded, falling forward to press his hands on the smooth stone below the angel’s feet. “The life I had planned for us and Natalina would have been so perfect, leaving me no need to fall under Ren’s toxic hold on me. How you managed to still love me after Ren and I parted ways the first time, I’ll never know. I didn’t deserve you or your love, but you gave it to me regardless.”

Just as I was about to leave feeling more like an intruder, I heard the first sob. I glanced over my shoulder at my grandfather, and I saw his body shudder as he cried. Leaving my shoes on a nearby bench, I approached my last living blood relative, unsure how to comfort him. We didn’t know each other, but then I remembered what Liu said. How would I want my grandfather to comfort me if the roles were reversed? Dropping to my knees beside him, I rested a hand on his back without saying a word, just letting him know I was there. I stayed with him for some time, even after the tears stopped. We just sat enjoying the sun and the breeze, keeping it from being too hot in our fall clothes.

“I was furious with your father for many years,” he said, breaking the silence. “It wasn’t until your mother called me to tell me she was pregnant with you that I realized why. I told Natalina I wasn’t going to come when you were born because I’d forbidden them from marrying. Well, that ticked her right off, and she let me have it much like you called Ren out today. I don’t know how she found out about my relationship with Ren. We did everything to keep it from her after her mother died. Yet there she was, calling me out on my double standards.”

Frediano let out a sigh, turning to look at me. “Your father, the bastard, had what I always wanted. The chance to live a life with the two people I loved most in the world. Mirabella would have happily shared me with Ren because she loved me that much. Problem was, Renato didn’t. Well, not enough to tell the world he loved a man. So he broke things off, and I proposed to your grandmother. We created a beautiful life full of love and life, then brought your mother into this world, making our life even more amazing. That’s how authentic love should be between people. Yet it can also make you blind and look past things just to get a taste of what you lost. Things should have ended with Ren long ago, but then I would have been alone, and that fear kept me trapped.”

“Manipulators know exactly how to dig their claws in and keep you from realizing the truth,” I agreed, pulling my legs up to hug my knees. “While I haven’t had a lover do that to me, I think I understand your feelings in a small way. As you know, my uncles, the only family I had besides my father, betrayed and manipulated me for years. It really makes you question if it’s worth the risk to trust anyone.”

Frediano grunted his agreement. “That, dear girl, is the trade we make for the life we live. Our world is in the shadows skirting the law, pushing the limits of what we can get away with to gain more power and wealth. Yet, with anything in life, there is a price or give-and-take, if you will. Power breeds enemies from those we’ve trampled to climb to the top. However, wealth brings out the leeches and vultures, circling, waiting for you to make a mistake they can swoop in and feast from. Hard to see how trust fits into it all when you’re constantly waiting for the attack you know is coming.”

“Wow, that’s one hell of a sales pitch there, Gramps,” I muttered. “Hell, if I’d known that was the life I was being groomed for, I would have stuck to being a thief.”

“How would that have been any different?” he challenged. “You’d constantly be worried if you covered your tracks well enough, never staying in one place long or let someone really get to know you for fear you’d slip, and they’d know. At least in this line of work, we don’t shy away from who and what we are.”

Resting my head on my knees, I looked at my grandfather, seeing the real man underneath without any shield. Gone was the imposing force that seemed to follow him everywhere, and instead, was a man who’d been through hell and back. Feeling me watching, he met my gaze, allowing me to meet the man my grandmother fell in love with and the father who raised my mother to the best of his abilities. Yet there was a deeper truth I saw—Frediano Raffa was tired.

“Astin, can I ask you a question and have you answer it truthfully, grandfather to granddaughter?” Frediano asked.

I lifted my head to nod, curious to hear the question. “What’s your question, Gramps?”

“Do you want this life?”

Out of all the things I expected to hear coming from Frediano Raffa, third-generation mob boss, that had not been one of them. It shocked me so profoundly that I just had to sit there absorbing the fact I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.

Did I want this life?

My immediate response was yes. This was what I was raised to do and had always been expected to do with my life. However, I don’t know that I’ve considered anything other than taking my place next to my father. The more I sorted through my feelings brought up by this question, I realized it wasn’t as simple as a yes or no answer. So many factors went into how I ended up where I am right now, and I knew I wouldn’t change anything.

“Yes, this is the life I choose for myself, but I didn’t always feel that way,” I answered as best I could.

“Can I ask what brought you to that answer?” he pressed as if he wasn’t satisfied with my choice.

Sitting up straighter, I crossed my legs and decided, in an act of trust, I would lay all my cards on the table. “This life gives me all the power and influence I need to protect the people I love. Saying that, I need to make it clear I don’t believe this means they won’t be in danger or they’ll be safe from everything… you and I both know that’s not reality. Alternatively, if I were to walk away and live a normal life, whatever that even is, I would be left with nothing but the protection of public servants who don’t give a damn about me or my men. So if being the dark queen of the Caprioni Family and heir to the Raffa Family is what it takes to provide me with unlimited resources, then that is what I choose.”

Reaching out, I placed my hand over his, where it rested on his knee. “I don’t know about you, but I’m really fucking tired of watching people I love get taken from me. That’s what this is all about, Gramps. I’m going to make it crystal clear to the world that if you fuck around with me or mine, then the full wrath of the Caprioni Queen will descend upon them, wiping those who dared off the face of the planet. There will be nothing left for them to rebuild with, and if they try, I’ll stomp them under my heel like the cockroaches they are.”