Page 12 of Love & Power

“Huh,” I commented, mulling that idea around in my head. “You’re right… that does make a lot of sense. Anyway, sorry to derail this whole conversation, but did you need something from me?”

“It was my hope to join you in bed tonight,” Atticus answered, leading me to note he was wearing pajamas.

“You absolutely can join me. Ryker, are you staying or going?” I asked.

“Tonight, I’m going to sleep in my room, but it’s right next door if you need me,” Ryker said, leaning in to kiss me. “Goodnight, sleep well, and I love you.”

“Love you too. I’ll see you in the morning, but if you change your mind, you can join us,” I offered.

“Not tonight,” he responded with one more quick kiss before heading out.

Setting the suitcase on the floor, I pulled back the sheets and crawled in. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for bed. Seems you’re rubbing off on me, Atty,” I said, fighting a yawn.

He slid in, wrapping his arms around me, and shifted me so I was lying mostly on his chest. “There are worse qualities to adapt to. I suspect you’ve never been one to get much sleep.”

“That’s probably true,” I murmured, sighing as he stroked his hand gently up and down my back. “Maybe it’s because I’m not sleeping alone anymore, and I got rid of my nightmares.”

“Shh, Asta, there is time to ponder this later,” Atticus whispered, kissing my head. “Sleep, my love.”

six

My mind was much clearer and calmer when I woke up. This was a new day, and I planned to treat it like any other day. I was the queen of the Caprioni Family, by birth and blood spilled by my own hands. Right now, I might be the princess of the Raffa Family, waiting to take over the throne from my grandfather. However, the Raffa Family was known to be bloodthirsty, ruthless, and a bit crazy. Blood would once more cover my hands and coat the path I walked to the throne, but what true mafia leader doesn’t have that? It sounds to me like the perfect place to embrace my Darkness and see if two pieces can finally become whole.

Gemma led the way to the dining room on the main floor. It was the beginning of fall in Nepreea, which brought out the start of autumn colors. Yet the sun shone with hardly a cloud in the sky, keeping the summer warmth around longer. Every window I passed was open, allowing a light breeze to drift through the halls, but the warmth was stolen by the cool stone walls. It made it impossible to know how to dress when there was a twenty-degree difference from inside the home to the outside.

The tapping sound of my heels echoed off the walls, making me smile. Having been forced to wear flats for far too long, I would never again take for granted the ability to wear my favorite shoe style. My burgundy wide-legged pants hid them from view, but the telltale sound of my stilettos always made their presence known whether seen or not.

Grandfather was seated at the head of the table reading as he sipped his espresso. He looked up and smiled upon hearing me enter the dining room. The room was more like an atrium with all the outer walls being glass then fitted with three sets of doors opening to a courtyard. A long, polished wooden table was the centerpiece of the room with enough space to seat at least twenty people.

“Are you expecting more people to join us?” I asked, taking a seat to his right.

The second my ass hit the seat, an older woman appeared at my elbow out of nowhere, silent as a ninja. “Can I get you a coffee, latte, espresso, or would you prefer tea?”

Still trying to figure out where she came from, I stared at her dumbly. “Ah…”

“She’ll take a latte with three sugars,” Liu answered for me as he sat next to me. “I would love a cappuccino.”

Just as quickly as she appeared, I blinked, and she was gone again. “What the fuck was that?” I blurted, looking around the room. “Where did she even go?”

Frediano chuckled, setting down the papers he’d been reading. “That is Anselma. She has been with our family since my father was running things. Anselma is one of the few staff I have travel with me at all times instead of assigning her to one location. That woman has developed more connections with the locals at every property we own than should be humanly possible. I fear what we will lose when she passes.”

“One would think she’d pass those connections to a family member,” Liu commented as he filled a plate with the food set out on the table.

“If she had any family, I suppose she might have,” Frediano shared. “But Anselma chose to take care of those who lead the Raffa Family like her own instead. She truly doted on your mother, Astin, almost as if she knew my wife wasn’t going to be there for her into adulthood.”

I knew from studying the families that my grandmother, Mirabella, died in a car accident when my mother was sixteen. My mother had been in the car too, but the driver hit the back passenger side where grandmother had been sitting, killing her instantly. Frediano’s face took on a melancholy look as if he remembered a time when his wife and daughter were still alive.

He looked up and caught my gaze, holding it for a moment before speaking, “Take a lesson from a man who’s lost the love of his life far too soon. There will never be a perfect time for romance or love, so be greedy and take all the time you can to be with them. You’ll feel like it’s wrong to focus on something that seems less important, but I was a damn fool not to realize it was the most important thing. We Raffa are a feral bunch, prone to madness and instability. However, when you have that one person who loves you despite that, it keeps the devil in your head from taking control.”

“The devil in your head…” I echoed, my mind instantly going to Darkness. “Are you telling me that we all have this alter-ego thing?”

“Not all… some just go plain mad, broken from the training and likely end up killing themselves or forcing us to put them down. Others become twisted, perverse, and heedlessly slaughter those around them. They’re why we’ve been labeled the way we are in the families. Finally, there are those who, like you and me, find a way to manage what we’ve been through. Our minds lock away the experience to help us, but all it has done is create something dark and evil within our minds,” Frediano explained. “Of course, modern medicine has evolved and helped to stabilize such issues, which is why I didn’t want your father to hide what happened to you with hypnosis. Given time, your alter would have understood and seen it wasn’t needed anymore since your training had been complete.”

The more I learned about my training and how everyone had mishandled it, made me want to scream. How could people who loved me put me through all that? Training or not, what was done to me was criminal. To this day, I still don’t know what they did, but the flashes and glimpses were more than enough to tell me I didn’t want to see.

“You don’t need to remember because I am here. It’s my job to remember everyone and everything that has ever hurt us,” Darkness assured me.

“Is there ever going to be a time when your job is done, and I am just me?” I questioned.