Page 11 of Revenge & Truth

Everything fucking hurt.

It had been a long time since I got the shit kicked out of me like that, and now I remember why I vowed never to let it happen again. How could I have been so stupid to let that asshole goad me into losing my temper? Astin had so much shit to worry about with Luca and getting things settled within the Family since taking over. The last thing she needed was for me to go and start a fucking turf war over a strip club that never made us much money.

“Here,” Jace said, pulling the ice pack off my face and replacing it with a new one.

I hissed at how cold it was, but that went away as the ice numbed the pain. “Thanks.”

“Astin just texted… she’s on her way home,” he informed me. “Are you sure you don’t want to take something a little stronger than ibuprofen for the pain?”

“No, anything stronger than that will make my brain fuzzy, and I need to be clear-headed for this conversation with her,” I explained, cracking open my good eye to look up at Jace. “I fucked up big time. You should have seen her face after Atticus told her what happened. She was furious.”

“Yeah, you fucked up, but, Brax, you don’t know for sure that anger was directed at you. She could be pissed that someone thought they could attack you and get away with it,” he argued.

I grunted. “Oh, I’m sure that’s part of her anger, but I put Atticus in danger, and she’s so protective of him.”

Jace gingerly cupped my cheek. “Hey, none of that. She cares about you being safe too. Astin knows this world we live in isn’t risk-free, and Atticus is a grown-ass man who can take care of himself when he needs to. Fuck, that asshole can shoot almost as well as Luca… a fucking assassin.”

“He held his own in the brawl, but most of my injuries are from making sure they couldn’t corner him like they kept trying. They knew he was the weak link. I’m just glad the cops showed up, giving us a chance to get the hell out of there,” I muttered as Jace stretched out beside me on the bed. “You know what was super fucking weird? I could have sworn our buddy, the White Knight, was there. Yet, that doesn’t make any sense. Lullin is three hours away from here, well outside his jurisdiction.”

“Is that why you think it was a setup? I mean, that’s your reason for not calling anyone,” Jace said, slightly bitter.

Internally, I groaned, knowing he was upset I didn’t call him, but how would it look if I called him and not Astin? Setting the ice pack on the nightstand, I rolled on my side to look at Jace. “Look, I understand you’re mad, even if you’re trying to hide it, but think of it from the perspective that I’m not just in a relationship with you. How would you have managed it if you couldn’t tell Astin something, would you feel comfortable telling me?”

“I’d have told you both,” Jace argued.

“That’s not the situation,” I countered. “Let’s say you tell her you’re hurt… we both know she’d have dropped everything to come help. Well, I had a gut feeling the entire interaction felt wrong, as if they planned the whole damn thing. Telling her and having her show up would only put her in danger, not to mention you would be right by her side. Now I have the two people I care most about in the world in potential danger over something I started by being an idiot. Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing knowing, that groveling and asking for forgiveness, would be a welcome punishment over getting her killed.”

Jace didn’t say anything, just looked at me, his eyes roaming over the bruised mess of my face. “I still don’t like that you didn’t tell us right away what happened, but I understand where you’re coming from. However, if you fucking try to pull a stunt like that again, I will whip your ass so raw you won’t be able to sit for a week. You hear me, pup?” Jace demanded.

“Yes, Sir,” I answered, knowing he wouldn’t accept any other response.

He drew me to him, gently kissing me with such care and tenderness it made me feel like the worst boyfriend ever. “I don’t think you understand how much I love you, Braxton, but I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

“I warned you I wasn’t good at this whole relationship thing,” I pointed out, making myself comfortable on his chest. “But next time, I promise to be smarter and walk away as Atticus told me to.”

“Thank you,” Jace said, holding me close. “I love you, Braxton.”

Unable to say it back to him, I pressed a kiss to his chest right over his heart so he knew how I felt. I’ve previously tossed around the word ‘love’ to people but didn’t really mean it. When I choose to say it to Jace and Astin, it will mean everything. I’ve known Jace’s feelings for me were stronger than mine toward him, but now I’ve finally filled that part of me that was missing something by having Astin in my life. Now, I’m willing to be honest with myself about my feelings after being numb to them for so long.

In time, I’d be able to say that back to Jace, but not today, not when I fucked up, hurting both my lovers.

Astin didn’t come to see me right away when she returned like I assumed she would. Instead, she chose to get a workout, which I suppose was a good thing for me since it would take the edge off her anger. When I finally got the text to come to her rooms, I took a deep breath and steeled myself for her to chew out my ass.

Boykov, Astin’s personal bodyguard, was outside her rooms as usual and let me in, grimacing as he looked at me. “Did Doc check you out?”

“Yeah, looks worse than it is. Thankfully, nothing’s broken,” I shared. “He gave me something for the pain and swelling, but I need to have this conversation first before I’m in a drugged haze.”

He nodded and pointed to Astin’s office door before stepping back out. Boykov wasn’t known for being overly chatty unless it was with Astin. Those two seemed to have an interesting bond, but I was glad for it. She needed a bodyguard to trust and share things with. Having that connection would be the thing that saved her life one day.

To my surprise, all the guys were there, save for Luca. “Sorry, I’m late to the party. Did I miss anything good?” I asked, taking a seat in the only open chair.

“Nope, I wasn’t going to tell them anything until you got here,” Astin said, giving me a soft smile, which faded as she took in my appearance. “Doc said he gave you pain meds. Are they not working?”

Confused, I scrunched my brows. “I don’t know… haven’t taken them.”

“Jace, can you please grab them from his room?” she requested.

He pushed off the wall where he’d been standing and shot her a thumbs-up. “Sure thing. I’m gonna grab something for him to eat too, since he shouldn’t take them on an empty stomach.”