Page 21 of Lying Lainey

Green tea not only had many health benefits, I found not having a high caffeine intake was helpful as well. My brain needed less stimulation, not more. The anxiety I lived with regularly was plenty to deal with, thank you very much. The kettle beeped, letting me know the water was ready just as I completed sifting the tea through a strainer. I poured a small amount of water into the mixing cup before grabbing the whisk.

In the beginning, I used to tell myself the steps of making the tea were teaching my brain that I was confident and competent to instruct this activity. Now I could do this with my eyes closed, knowing exactly how many rotations I needed to make before the blend was perfect enough to add the rest of the water. So my goal at this moment was to tell myself ten things I was good at or I was proud of myself for. This might not seem hard for most people, but five years ago, I was only able to come up with one thing. The fact I now have ten things to say is nothing short of a miracle, and that is the first of ten things I’m proud of.

“I, Quintin Price, am a skilled gardener, and I’m proud of the many plants I care for in the conservatory at home,” I verbalized aloud. “Another thing I’m good at is managing the finances of Enigma Technologies, a company I’m proud to work for, and I’ve supported for almost twenty years. I’m proud to be business partners with Halstead and Kerian, and they see value in my guidance and knowledge.”

“You forgot to add how much we love you,” Halstead’s deep voice said from behind me, the only warning I got before his arms wrapped around my waist. Instantly, I leaned into him as his lips brushed the back of my neck, chasing away the last of the shadows of my past.

“Quin, what’s got you so unsettled?” H asked, resting his chin on my shoulder. “You seemed fine when you left the house this morning, or did I read that wrong? Is it because I asked for space last night?”

Setting down the whisk, I turned to face my partner and lover for the past fifteen years. “No, H, it’s nothing to do with you or asking for a night to yourself, I promise. You and I have worked to find a healthy balance where you can ask me for things like that, and I’m secure in us. In fact, Kerian and I took that opportunity to get a drink at the jazz bar you hate.”

“Then, my brilliant, capable Quin, why are you saying your affirmations ten minutes after showing up to work?” he pressed, resting his forehead against mine. “Do we need to have Alexis stop by and have a check-in with you?”

“We already have an appointment for next week, and I’ve got to grow stronger in managing these moments without her on speed dial,” I pointed out.

“Who the fuck said you needed to grow stronger alone?” H challenged. “Quin, I love you so fucking much. I wish to God I could just reach into your head and pluck out every lie that cunt ever said to you. There is no weakness in having support when you need it. All you need to do is tell me what will help, and I’ll make it happen.”

I looked into his deep blue eyes, seeing the love, devotion, and desire to free me from this struggle. We both knew he couldn’t and, through many group sessions, owned up to the truth that it’s not his battle to fight for me. There were days when he struggled with that more than others, but he just didn’t understand I wouldn’t still be alive without him. He and Kerian have saved my life each day I wake up with them in our home, telling me they loved me.

“If I tell you what happened, I need you to promise something,” I warned.

Halstead kissed me soundly. “Anything.”

“You can’t get upset and fire anyone because I don’t know how to regulate emotions well,” I ordered.

His brows furrowed as he clasped my face between his hands. “Someone here upset you?”

“No, quite the opposite, they accepted me,” I explained the best I could, not feeling like that was the right way to put it. “When I got here, I ran into Elaine…” Halstead stiffened at her name, making me pause, and then it was my turn to frown. “Did something happen between you two? I thought things had gone well so far.”

“We’ll talk about that later, but right now, we’re focusing on you,” he countered. My frown deepened, but he just kissed the crease between my eyes and chuckled. “No, Quin, I’m not going to let you turn this around on me and my issues. You’re going to be dealt with first. Now you were saying something about running into Ms. Collins.”

It didn’t escape my notice that he referred to her so formally, but once Halstead decided something, there was no changing his mind. If I wanted to know what happened, I had to talk first. Pushy bastard.

“We happened to arrive at the same time, and I noticed she was rather upset getting out of the car that dropped her off. I paused to make sure she was okay physically before asking if everything was all right. H, I was genuinely concerned about her and then chatted the whole way to the elevator. Hell, I offered to get her in touch with a few car services so she didn’t have to deal with rude drivers ever again,” I blurted as all the overwhelming feelings started to rush back in. “Why? Why would I care so much when I’ve known the woman for merely a few hours? I thought possibly she might be an Omega hiding her scent, but when I tried to get a sense of her, she smelled like chemicals or a hospital. Is she sick? Do we need to find out what’s going on?”

“Okay, okay,” Halstead soothed, pulling me into a hug and stroking my back. “We’re going to process this one thing at a time. I can see why you needed your tea… that was an avalanche of things to field all at once. Let’s start with the car situation since that’s what upset you first. Tell me more about why that made you pause in the first place?”

Having him ask me to explain it made me realize I didn’t know what triggered me to notice the car parked there in the first place or how I knew the second the woman got out it was Elaine.

“Her hair,” I murmured. “I spotted a woman in that car brushing her hair out of her face, and it reminded me of Elaine. When she stepped out, I caught a glimpse of how upset she was about something, and it was as if I had no choice but to ensure she was going to be fine.”

“I mean this with all the love in my heart, but clearly, you’re not used to your Alpha instincts kicking in, are you?” he questioned.

A harsh laugh burst out of me. “Not in the slightest. How can an Alpha who doesn’t know how to protect himself do that for someone else? I was never meant to be—”

“You finish that sentence, and I’ll let Tater-Tot use your greenhouse as his personal bathroom. Because that was about to be a giant pile of shit coming out of your mouth,” Halstead threatened.

I about swallowed my tongue with how fast I ate my words, imagining the horror of Kerian’s English Bulldog running rampant in my sanctuary. Halstead had the nerve to chuckle at my reaction knowing full well that his threat would be more than enough to do the trick.

“Since we have that settled, I’m more curious about why you’d feel so strongly about her,” he mused aloud as he ran his nose along mine before kissing me.

A sharp gasp had me jerking away from Halstead to see Elaine standing in the doorway to my office. The idiot had forgotten to close it when he came in. For being the one who pushes so hard for us to keep our personal life private, it was ironic he was the one who didn’t take precautions. It had taken me some time to accept that his not wanting the world to know about the three of us being a pack didn’t reflect how he felt about Kerian or myself. He viewed it as keeping us safe from those who would want to use that information against us. Personally, I thought he was being dramatic until a friend of ours had a pack member kidnapped and held for ransom. They owned a Fortune 500 company as well, proving to Halstead he’d made the right choice.

“I’m so sorry, the door was open…” she muttered, dropping her gaze and backing out.

Was it truly that shocking for her to see us together? Once again, her reaction wasn’t at all what I expected. Relationships with the same gender were common and almost assumed if you were a pack. Some packs did develop with just friendship in place. However, ninety percent of the time there was at least one, if not more, couples in the group. Our pack was unusual for being so small with only the three of us, but with my issues, Halstead’s overprotectiveness, and Kerian’s indifference in adding anyone else, we didn’t go the common route of adding an Omega into our family.

“Ms. Collins, did you need something?” Halstead asked gruffly, not letting me pull out of his hold.