Page 2 of Knot All Is Ruined: Part 2

“Dani,” Lucian started in a hesitant voice. “Could it be that you really cared for them? Those Southern soldiers?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I bit out. “It doesn’t matter. You and I have bonded, so that's that.”

“It matters greatly to me, My Heart,” Lucian argued. “If you had feelings for these men, then not only am I working against all that’s gone wrong between us but the challenge of your heart being given to them as well.”

“They didn’t have my heart.” I scoffed, sitting up and pushing away from him. “I was using them to learn how to fight and protect myself, something I’ve sorely needed in this life. Why would I allow myself to get attached when I was finally free?”

Lucian caught my chin with his hand, forcing me to look at him. “Dani, I thought we’d gotten to the point where we didn’t lie to each other.”

“Like you’re one to fucking talk. You’ve been lying this whole time about how you felt about me,” I shot back, poking his chest with a finger—hard.

“Alright, then tell me this. If I’d come to you and told you that I was in love with you and wanted an actual relationship, would I have even had a chance?” Lucian challenged.

I opened my mouth to answer, then shut it when I realized I had no clue. Was it possible that I’d never consider there being something more between us? He already knew about the fact I didn’t go into heat, which didn’t seem to bother him at all. Yet, that had been when he didn’t want to have a child, fearing what his father would do to said child. Would that change now that we were bonded and he planned to kill his father?

“Do you still not want to have kids?” I blurted, the need to know the answer driving my actions.

He blinked at me slowly, as if trying to hide his surprise at my question. “Has something changed for you in that area?”

“No…” I hedged, wringing my hands. “...it’s just you were okay with that when you didn’t want a kid, a relationship, or an Omega, and that’s all changed.”

With a sigh, Lucian shook his head. “Dani, what’s changed is that I realized I was a fucking idiot who didn’t see the gift I’d been given in you from that first moment I laid eyes on you.”

That had me frowning, but he just smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“The moment I caught your scent and saw you sleeping on my bed, I knew I wanted you physically,” he admitted. “What I hadn’t counted on was that I’d never want to let you go, and having you with me made me a better person. It showed me I wasn’t living, I was surviving, and if I wanted to change things for my people, then I couldn’t hide anymore,” Lucian explained as he lovingly grasped my face in his firm hands. “You deserve a world where you’re seen for the incredible, sassy, smart woman that you are. Not a fucking breeder. Having you by my side, I know I’ll be able to change the world, because I won’t allow a danger to exist that could harm you. If I have the ability to remove that threat, you bet your perfect ass I’ll do it.”

Reaching up, I let my fingers glide over the scars that marred the right side of his face. How he felt like he’d just been surviving when he gained those wounds at the hands of his father, and this fucking war wasn’t how I saw it. Like me, he’d been forced into a life he couldn’t avoid. For fuck's sake, he’s seen his mother murdered before his eyes when she tried to speak against his father. The General had seen to it that Lucian never forgot who held his leash and the fate that would befall him if he didn’t follow orders.

I might be fucking pissed, and justly so, but I agreed to our deal in the first place because I saw something of myself in him. We both got dealt shit hands in life, but I chose to rebel and speak my mind on matters. Meanwhile, he became the strong, resilient mastermind waiting for the time to act. Then as time went on and we got to know each other, I think deep down, it came to the point I struggled with the thought of leaving him to survive on his own.

Just like Tori and Violet, this compassionate warrior had become mine in an odd way. The more Sorin, Petru, Toma, Victor, and Cris chipped at the walls around my heart, it also revealed something I didn’t expect. I did care for Lucian—not to say I was in love with him—but he was important to me. That was why I couldn’t let Petru shoot him when he had the chance.

“When you say you want to remove the threat against me, are you talking about your father?” I questioned.

“Yes,” he murmured, turning to kiss my palm. “He is the biggest threat to us both. If he were to remain alive, then we’d spend the rest of our lives watching our backs, which isn’t the life I want for us. Seeing what the South is like this deep into their country, I can’t help but wish this for my people. They’ve been struggling enough, fighting a war that will never end, and will ultimately cost us everything. The only way to change anything is to cut the head off the snake.”

“Is that the plan? Leave here and head for Stalhold City, where your father is?” I asked, giving in to the need to be held by him.

He tugged the blanket up so I was covered before securing his arms around me. “Right now, we just need to get out of Southern territory without getting caught. Once we return to Northern land, I’ll need to find the resistance hiding in the mountains. If I’m going to overthrow my father, then I’m going to need an army of my own. Having one that hates him as much as I do will certainly help.”

“Are we leaving right away?”

“Tonight, when it’s dark, we’ll head out. So rest, My Heart, it’s going to be a hard journey on foot,” Lucian shared as he started to purr again, coaxing me into sleep.