Page 37 of Knot All Is Ruined: Part 1

The sound of Klarisa’s chuckle had my eyes snapping back open to find them both watching me with amused smiles. “I had to custom order that couch, but it's been the best thing for starved Omegas such as yourself. No one truly realizes how important things like a soft bed, warm blankets, and the feeling of being cuddled are to an Omega. All the women who come to stay with me end up living on that couch for at least a day or two before they can bear to leave its security.”

“So the fact I legitimately couldn’t help myself is normal?” I questioned.

Klarisa nodded as she shoved Petru forward toward me. “Go on, sit beside her. Having you close will also help with you being an Alpha and all.”

I eyed him, skeptically, not wanting what she said to be true, but I felt I was going to lose this fight after what I noticed on the ride over here. To his credit, Petru took a seat but didn’t crowd me. Only Klarisa had other thoughts on that.

“No, you need to be touching her,” she ordered. “Scooch over until at least your legs are touching. I promise I’m not just being bossy, this is what I do for a living. It will help more than either of you understand.”

Doing as he was told, the Alpha slid up next to me melding the side of his body to mine. Instantly I tensed, feeling the need to pull away. He was too close and now I was trapped, and with how squishy this couch was, it would be nearly impossible to get away quickly. Then a purr started to rumble out of him as he slowly draped an arm around my shoulder and drew me to him. The deep soothing sound chased away all my fears and had me turning into putty. Before I knew it, I was curled against him, my hand fisting his shirt as I nuzzled his neck. Bright sparks of thyme and the heady bergamot lulled me into closing my eyes and drinking up the feel of his warm body against mine.

How could this feel so right? Images of that first night with Lucian flickered through my mind. I’d felt this way with him too at first, then we’d both closed ourselves off from each other and the feeling faded. Was this how it should be with an Alpha? Or was I so starved that any Alpha showing me kindness was enough to bring this out in me? The fear of being manipulated by my baser needs had me beginning to pull back except Petru wasn’t having it. Instead, he hauled up and maneuvered me so I was straddling his lap as he purred and stroked my back soothingly. He nuzzled into my hair, taking a deep breath as if he enjoyed my scent as much as I did his.

“Easy, Little Wildflower, you have nothing to fear from me,” Petru whispered into my ear.

God, I wanted to believe him, but we’d just met. How could anyone trust they were safe when they barely knew the person? It was just foolish to assume people would look out for you, the world had taught me that many times over.

The sound of the truck pulling up to the house had me sitting up and on alert. Klarisa motioned for us to stay put. “It’s fine, I’ll go out and meet them. Stay right where you are, Danella. You have no idea how important this moment is for you and your well-being. Trust an Omega that’s been where you are and nearly lost her life due to lack of affection.”

Her words had me blinking in surprise—what could she possibly mean by that?

A hand cupped the back of my head and gently applied pressure trying to get me to place my head back on his shoulder. “Listen to her, Wildflower. There is a reason we picked her to protect and look after your friends. It’s not my story to tell though maybe one day she’ll feel comfortable enough to tell you herself. Now, relax and snuggle with me.”

The absurdity of those words had me smiling even as the will to keep fighting what my body was screaming for was a losing battle. It almost reminded me of when I first learned what it felt like to be truly hungry. The way every cell of my body begged for me to feed it, the hollowness of my stomach as water sloshed around in it. When I reached the point I knew my stomach shrunk so small because finishing a bowl of gruel was sometimes too much to handle. Now here I was, having been starved for the right kind of physical contact and attempting to consume my fill when I was unsure how much I could manage.

Had telling Lucian we couldn’t cuddle been the right call? Was protecting myself from him and the pull I felt that first night worth the damage I’d done? No, I couldn’t think like that. The risk of falling for Lucian was too high if I’d let him use me as he saw fit. If I’d given in and become his Omega, would I have been able to run, or would I have been trapped in a life that would never see me as more than a breeder?

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about right now, but whatever it is, has got you starting to panic,” Petru commented as a hand slid into my hair and fingers massaged my scalp. “Take a slow deep breath for me. Come on, I’ll do it with you.”

His chest started to rise as he took a deep breath and I followed suit. When my lungs couldn’t hold any more, I stopped and waited for him to release his. Together we exhaled and the anxiety that had been clawing at me seemed to dissipate.

“Good, that’s good, Little Wildflower,” Petru praised. “Now I’m going to move you to sit beside me because I have a feeling you won’t like the others seeing you so vulnerable.”

The relief and appreciation I had for this man right now was immense. For him to recognize that worry and care enough to do something about it had me fighting back tears of all things. Something inside me had cracked with the affection and comfort I’d just been given. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly, although Klarisa had been right, something changed. Question was should it have changed?

Chapter twenty

Now back in the corner of the couch where I’d started when I sat down, Petru shifted just enough to give me space but not too far. The fact that I wanted to reach out and cling to his shirt to make sure he didn’t move any farther had me panicking slightly. While I didn’t want to be ‘starved’ as Klarisa called it, becoming dependent on someone was also not what I inevitably wanted.

“Come on in, ladies. There’s someone here I think you’ll be happy to see,” Klarisa greeted as she held the front door open.

Tossing the pillow aside, I struggled to get to my feet. Seeing what I was attempting, Petru placed a hand on my back and gave a good shove to help me up. The second Violet’s eyes landed on me, I flew across the room and hugged her. Instantly her arms were around me and a sob broke out of her. Holding her close, I kept telling her I was okay and rubbing her back.

“Dani!” Tori yelled, slamming into us and wrapping her short arms around both of us. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here. We’ve been so worried about you. No one would tell us if you were okay or if they’d taken you.”

Releasing one arm from Violet, I used it to tug Tori closer. “I'm fine. They’ve been taking good care of me, I promise. That tumble down the cliff really fucked me up, but they put me back together again.”

The three of us clung to each other for a moment longer before I released them both so I could look them over. I cupped Violet’s face in my hands and searched her expression, and other than the shadows of loss, she seemed fine. “You good? They didn’t hurt you or try to touch you in any way?”

She shook her head, more tears falling to land on my hands. “No, I’m okay, better than okay now that I know you’re safe and healthy.”

Shifting, I faced Tori who threw herself at me for another hug. “Dani, don't you dare do something like that again. I thought we’d lost you for sure when they wouldn’t tell us if you were alright. How could you be so reckless it doesn’t do us any good if we don’t make it through this together, alive.”

Sometimes I forgot just how much younger Tori was than myself. I’d been looking after her since the moment she walked into the Care Center. She’d been so scared that I couldn’t stand by and watch as the mean girls went after her. These two had been the reason I kept fighting; they’d needed me to keep them safe and sane. Now I was making a deal to ensure they returned home even if I couldn’t join them immediately. It was better to know they were safe, happy, and free so I didn’t have to worry about them as I helped take down the North. There was sure to be danger and fighting along the way, since we were in the middle of a war. Knowing I had them to keep watch over would split my attention, and that surely would get me hurt or killed.

Goodbyes wouldn’t happen now, but they would happen sooner than any of us would like. After meeting Klarisa, I trusted they would be well looked after. Maybe she could chase some of the shadows out of Violet's eyes, and help Tori to remember what it was like not to be so angry. Most of all, I just hoped they wouldn't hate me when it came time to tell them what was really going on.

“I’m so, so sorry, Tori,” I whispered, hugging her tight before pulling her back. Looking into her gaze, the relief and trust I saw made my heart squeeze at the thought of them being angry with me. But I would do what I’d always done, take care of them first. “You’re right, I was being reckless, and I took you guys with me. But I am glad to see you’re not hurt.”