Page 27 of The Final Battle

“Are you not my family?“ Paxton asked.

“I… well… ah…,“ Cole stuttered looking at all of us as if we were going to save him.

Listening to these two men talk, I realized that while I’d been focused on dealing with the troubles happening around us, I hadn’t taken notice of what was going on right in front of me. On the surface, it seemed like all of them were getting along and learning to enjoy one another. Paxton was the last to join us and he came with some past history that made things challenging, but I didn’t for a moment consider they didn’t know we were a family.

“Pax brings up a good point,“ I voiced, pulling everyone’s attention. “Do you consider each other family at all? You are no longer just my guardians but my consorts, men who will be forever in each other’s lives, raising children, ruling this kingdom with me, growing old together. If things don’t go well between you, there is no walking away from it, you’re all connected to each other for the rest of our lives.“

Looking around the table at each of them, I saw varying degrees of realization register on their faces. The only one who didn’t seem at all bothered by this revelation was Zan. He sat back with his hands in his lap as Ezzu napped on the back of his chair. Leave it to my blind lover to see the truth of things clearer than anyone else in the room.

Becka cleared her throat, taking a sip of her wine before speaking. “I know this is slightly different for May and I, since we don’t have the added nature of sleeping with the queen, but she’s right. Most of you have been like brothers to me for most of my life, adding a few more of you didn’t seem to change much for me. I absolutely see you all as my family.“

May nodded her agreement. “Same, I’ve only had Dayson as my family since his father took me in when my parents died. Most of you I’ve known for years, and if we are being honest with each other, even though you haven’t thought about it you all treat each other like they are your brothers.“

“Isn’t this how family works though? You don’t get to choose who is a part of it and whether you agree with their actions or choices, they are still someone you look after. Pax might drive us all crazy but if anyone was going to mess with him that wasn’t one of us, I would take issue with that,“ Dayson said, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at the others. “If any of you landed in trouble I wouldn’t ask questions, I would just wade in and figure it out later.“

Peeking at Zan out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smirking before he hid it behind his glass. My gaze swung over to Jade, Izel, and Gavin, who were completely silent with closed off expressions. I knew trusting would be hard for Jade, knowing that his own family had turned their backs on him. Izel, on the other hand, I was curious about his silence, as well as Gavin. Neither of them seemed to have issues with the others that I was aware of.

“I have a question,“ Gavin announced. “Do any of you have an issue with the fact that I was selected to take the crown if anything happened to Cassarah before she had an heir?“

“Why would we? Each of us came to the agreement that you were the wise choice,“ Abbott commented.

“That is true, but did you all make that choice to go along with the others or do you feel that I’m the best option?“ Gavin pressed as he looked at the others. “If that isn’t the true feelings of this family, then I have no problem giving up the role to another. I’ve given up being the Crown Prince once already because I didn’t feel it was the right place for me, so I can understand if you think the same thing.“

Izel turned to face Gavin who was sitting next to him. “Why did you give up being Norden’s Crown Prince?“

“For years I was educated by our tutors and advisors about our kingdom and the people we ruled over. Some of the beliefs they had I wasn’t sure I agreed with. Then when Cassarah rescued me and I saw first-hand what life was like outside of the castle for many people, I knew what I’d been taught was misguided. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my parents and the people who had raised me. Phillip, on the other hand, has always been more confident in himself and challenged those teachings,“ Gavin explained, pausing a moment as if to gather his thoughts before he continued.

“A new dream started to grow and I saw a world where I could work alongside my brother to help not just our kingdom, but also the mercenaries, to grow into something more. Both groups of people have such rich history and tradition, but in one selfish move our past rulers broke trust. What I want more than anything is to repair that trust and to see our world working together, so another Lost King can’t happen again, but if it does then all of us stand together.“

Izel nodded in approval of Gavin’s words. “If that is truly how you feel then I believe we chose the right man. God forbid that something happens to Cassarah, but if she can no longer rule I would want someone with the same dream she has to be in power.“

Each and every person at the table was murmuring their agreement. As if a weight had been lifted off Gavin, he sat up straighter and seemed to breathe easier hearing their answer.

“Does anyone else have something they would like to clear the air on or share with the others?“ I asked in hopes of keeping this honest conversation that clearly needed to happen.

“Cassarah and I were talking earlier about a way to make sure each of us gets some personal time. Like, I asked that she stay in my room tonight or one of you might request having a meal just the two of you. Anything so that we have one on one moments together. As I said, I see you all as family, but that doesn’t mean I want to be around you every waking moment,“ He teased. “Sometimes, you just need time with your woman, you know what I mean?“

Zan clapped a wide smile on his face. “That, my brother, is a brilliant suggestion, thank you for bringing it up. If someone else hadn’t I was going to but I’m glad to see there are others of the same mind.“ Ezzu was wide awake now taking in the room for Zan until her golden eyes fell on me. “Cassarah, I know when we first met it wasn’t under the best of circumstances, but the fates knew far better than we did. Not only have I been blessed to have you as my partner in life, and someone I get to love wholeheartedly, but the fates gave me all of you men as well. This is the first family that I’ve had where I feel accepted for who I am and not judged for being blind. I know it took a bit to gain your trust, rightly so, but once you all gave that to me you never questioned it.“

The guys all seemed to be rather embarrassed by Zan’s words, muttering and looking away, Gavin even blushed a little at the sentiment. Jade though, still hadn’t seemed to break out of his icy shell he had wrapped around himself.

“Vasin.“

“Yes, my dear Cass?“

“Has Tahir mentioned anything going on with Jade? I feel like there might be something I’m missing. We are all here having an open and honest conversation and he just seems to be pulling away.“

“Give me a moment to speak with Tahir.“

Part of me wanted to call him out and demand an answer, but my heart told me that would only push him further away. Jade was a man of deep emotions and I knew that I was one of the only people he would allow himself to be vulnerable with. Sure, he would get upset around the others and shout his orders when it came to my safety, but I think back to that moment we shared alone late at night in the late king’s office. He told me the story about his family and how he became known as the grim reaper. To demand for him to answer me now would only result in him storming out of this room, solving nothing.

“How do you propose we do this, individual time?“ Abbott asked, drawing me out of my own thoughts. “I don’t want it to be something scheduled, making it feel like an obligation. Also, what if there is a time when one of us needs her more than another for some reason?“

The table fell silent as they considered his words, but I couldn’t get over my concern about Jade. I was almost ready to pull him to the side and have him join me on the balcony. What I felt I could confidently cross off the list of problems was something between us. I knew that he and I were fine, if we weren’t then he would absolutely come talk to me, or drag me off to deal with it. So, it had to be something with the guys or possibly with the war we were heading into.

“What if we take it as a day by day situation?“ Izel suggested. “The biggest part of all of this is ensuring that we are all vocal about what we need. I don’t mind having others around, so long as I can be the one at times to sit next to Cassarah, or hold her in my arms for a while. Yet, there might be a day that I really need to have one on one time and it’s my responsibility to speak up.“

“I can get behind that, as long as we also agree that if we feel like someone is taking advantage of personal time that we can talk about that too,“ Paxton voiced.