Page 20 of The Final Battle

I glanced over at her, but she refused to look at me as she waited for my answer.

“Yes.“ There was nothing more to say. I couldn’t give her a justification that would make any sense or make it better.

Becka nodded and turned so her back was to the railing and she looked at me. “Cassarah, you are like a sister to me, and we’ve been through hell and back with your mother. If we can survive through that, I’m sure we can handle this.“

“Those two aren’t even in the same category, Becka. My mother wanted to control me and used me for her gain but she didn’t want to harm others. Henry doesn’t give a rat’s ass who lives or dies. How do you even begin to face off with someone like that without putting as much into it?“ I argued. “The Lost King has nothing to lose, or so he claims, but what he wants is power and the recognition that he never got from his father. He believes that he should have been king of Norden, but instead, he was banished to Utros. That’s what he’s after, to prove that they were wrong for doing that to him.“

A frustrated growl burst out of my best friend, shocking me. “So, what! That man should be grateful he’s still alive. The king was supposed to kill him, not just send him away. He can have Utros and Errit but why does he need everything else? If there is no one left in the world, what good is ruling it?“

“You’re trying to get him to act like a rational person, I can assure you he is anything but,“ I explained. “What is it they teach us? To be able to outsmart a target you have to learn the target. Know their habits, routine, where they are vulnerable, then you can strike in the strongest way possible. That’s what I’m doing,“ I offered, knowing she wouldn’t believe me. “What everyone is missing is that despite the words I said— I have no intention of ever losing to him.“

“Did you hear that, you sneaky thieves!“ Becka yelled.

Confused, I looked about trying to figure out who she was talking to, when my men suddenly appeared in the doorway looking sheepish.

“What! How did you do that?“ I gasped.

Cole pointed at Jade, as if having him to blame would get him out of trouble. “It seems he can use his Birthright on more than just himself…“

My jaw dropped. I knew locking the door wouldn’t keep a bunch of mercenaries out of my room, but I’d hoped the message would be clear. Becka knew I needed a moment before I had to explain myself and to get them to calm down. While I didn’t have many lingering issues from my mother’s treatment of me, the one thing I struggled with was getting the approval of those I cared about. I knew they would be mad at me and I couldn’t talk to them while they were all so upset.

“How long have you been able to do that? Wait, have you always been able to?“ I questioned.

Jade shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really know how long I’ve been able to do it. There hasn’t been a time that I wanted to hide others in my shadows.“

That was a valid point; he hadn’t been all that welcomed in his previous clan after his parents died. “I’m certainly glad we know about it now, we’ll have to test to see how many people you can keep hidden. It will be an amazing tool for the upcoming battle.“

“Don’t think you can get out of this conversation by distracting us, little bird,“ Jade warned, coming over to stand before me. “Now, I think that we deserve an explanation.“

“No, you don’t,“ Becka countered. “You just heard her reasoning while you were eavesdropping on our conversation. What more do you need to know? She had to get on his level and show him she was willing to do anything, up to death, to make it happen.“

“Sorry, but that isn’t a good enough answer for me,“ Gavin announced.

As the one and only person not trained in the ways of a mercenary, I could understand why he wouldn’t understand. The others might not like my choice, but they knew where I was coming from. How did you explain to someone that saw the world in black and white, that an action cloaked in gray was the right choice?

Walking over to him, I cupped his cheek and held his gaze as it burned with anger and fear. “Did I tell the Lost King I would sooner die than let him become ruler? Yes. Did I also vow that I would take him down with me if it came to that point? Also, yes,“ I pulled him into a hug squeezing him tightly, then took a step back. “What I didn’t say, is that I was going to roll over and let him kill me. I needed him to understand that I wasn’t going into this battle with my eyes closed. It told him that I was willing to go as far as I needed to ensure he never won.“

I let out a sigh, my shoulders drooping as I sank under the weight of my responsibilities. “He needed to see me as a threat to take me seriously. I needed to push him to get him to spill information and it worked.“

“It worked?“ he questioned. “From what you already told us, you didn’t get much.“

“No, I didn’t get much, but we didn’t have much before either. Now we know we need to get to Creisal and see what’s happening there. What if there is something hidden in that city he doesn’t want anyone to know about? Everything he’s done is to draw attention away from there. He’s leaving it for last and that tells me whatever we might find there is a weakness he can’t outsmart another way,“ I explained. “My other hope, is that the queen will regain her senses and be able to tell us something.“

“It still doesn’t mean you should have made a vow like that. You have access to magic like never before, what if it holds you to that? We could lose you and all of this would have been for nothing,“ Gavin argued.

Tossing my hands up in frustration, I turned to the others. “What do you want me to say? I am queen first, lover second, and mercenary last. My duty the moment that crown went on my head was to my people—all my people, but that doesn’t mean I can play it safe just to satisfy those who love me. Tell me, tell me what I should have done, staring at the biggest evil we’ve faced yet as he taunts me, telling me I’m going to fail?“

Gavin looked hurt but the others seemed to understand where I was coming from. While I could understand why they weren’t happy about it, they were trained to look at a battle from all angles. Gavin must have realized this too, because he didn’t press the matter when he saw none of the others were going to.

“The question now is, how do we proceed?“ Zan offered. “You’ve now been crowned queen and brokered an alliance with what is left of the Norden royalty, as well as Creisal. What are you going to do with all of it?“

Rubbing my hand over my forehead, I tried to think of something, but all I came up with was dead ends and more questions. I wandered over to the seating that was on the balcony and sank into a chair, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Everyone slowly came over to join me. No one spoke, we just sat for some time, praying to the fates that something would come to one of us.

Chapter thirteen

Cassarah

The one benefit of being officially crowned queen is that I had a full schedule of things to deal with. My feelings of being lost in how to move forward were pushed to the side with a knock on the door and a steward calling me to a meeting. The Viceroy were coming together in their last act in that title, to give me all the reports and information I would need. Of course, I’d already been going over them all with the three men and Sal before the coronation, but it would give Lawrance, Mathew, and Eleazar closure after their many years of service. While they were closing the door on one chapter of their lives, I was now starting a new one for them, as my advisors.