Page 31 of Hidden Nature

Now, I had Finley. She would be able to do what no one else had.

Allow me to heal, so I might live again.

seventeen

Watching these memories while feeling everything from Elias was almost like I had lived it myself. I could feel the guilt riding him hard as we moved from each memory he wanted me to see. Elias was baring his soul to me, and I would do what I said, staying right by his side no matter how awful the images I was seeing were.

Elias had lost himself in that pain, allowing his wolf to rule over him, easing the guilt and shame. Wolves didn’t feel those emotions. In their mind, Elias had gotten revenge for his family. Why should he be ashamed of that when it was the only course of action to take?

As I caught glimpses of his time alone, his wolf kept them safe and alive, even if it did make him unpredictable and cut off from the human world.

As the memories began to fade and I felt myself returning to the world around us, tears dripped onto my cheeks. The mournfulness I sensed in those tears told me Elias was finally moving from anger and self-hatred to the point where he could actually grieve his loss. So much had happened to him all at once. It’s a wonder he was the man I knew today. Yes, he still had a long way to go in his healing process, but this was a good start.

Reaching up, I took his face in my hands and kissed away the tears. Small steps were taken today, and our bond sang with the deeper connection we had, knowing he was well and truly a part of my soul. I could feel him just like Rath and Lane, even though we got there through different means.

It made me wonder if each bond would be different since they were different people. What if that’s the trick? There is no one way to do things with magic.

“Finley, I didn’t ever think I could love after what happened to my family, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am madly in love with you. It sounds crazy, and fate gave me one hell of a journey to get here with you, but there is no one else I can see by my side. You understand my pain like Colt does, but unlike Colt, you won’t judge me for killing that other pack,” Elias said, looking deep into my eyes as he spoke. “I see myself as a monster, but when you look at me, all I see is the version of me I want to be.”

“You were never a monster. A monster is someone who doesn’t know how to feel guilt or shame. While I think you did the right thing, the only thing really, you still let it define you as evil, and that is the farthest thing from the truth,” I told him, nuzzling my cheek against his. “Now I can see why the fates chose you to be my Protector. You won’t be the white knight riding to my rescue. No, you’ll be the darkness that comes from the shadows they never see coming. To win against the darkness, you need to understand your own, and you stare yours down every day.”

Elias held me tightly, hiding his face in my hair, pressing his lips to my neck. “If there comes a day when I need to come to your rescue, know that the world around us won’t survive. Afterward, we’ll have to build a new one from the ground up.”

I couldn’t help but smile at his words. “You know it’s not a bad idea. Just think how we could change the world together. The Senate was a good idea in the beginning, but now it’s turned into something that abuses the power it’s been given.”

“If the Senate is coming after us, then we might get our chance,” Elias pointed out. “Kill them all and start over, sounds like a good idea to me.”

“One step at a time. Right now, we need to find out what the big picture is, then we can figure out how to save the world,” I countered, grinning at how simple he made it all sound.

When the sliding glass door opened, I assumed it was Lane coming back out to join us.

“What the hell, elf! Why the fuck is Finley out here with no coat or shoes? Are you trying to kill her?” Colt demanded as he stormed his way over, yanking me out of Elias’s arms, cuddling me to him like a baby. “I know you’re new to this whole mate thing, but one of our basic responsibilities is to make sure she is warm and safe.”

Rath just stood there, letting Colt speak his mind, crossing his arms as he waited. “Anything else you feel the need to lecture me on?” Rath paused for a moment, then waved Colt to silence. “I might not be what you expected and while I can understand sharing her with yet another person who isn’t even part of your pack is difficult for you, I’m the only one who can help her with her magic. Our whole being is symbiotic with the nature around us, and she was building up so much extra power. If I didn’t help her bleed it off, she would have hurt someone. Now clearly, you assume to know her better than I do. Tell me, do you think it would sit well with her if that happened?”

Colt puffed up his chest and I could tell whatever was going to come out of his mouth wasn’t going to help the situation.

“Enough,” I snapped. “Put me down, please.”

He hesitated for a moment, then set me down before removing his hoodie and pulled it down over my head. I was engulfed in it since he was bigger than I was. His whiskey and leather scent wafted around me, along with the warmth of his body. Wiggling my arms into the sleeves, I pointed at Colt, leveling him with a glare. My wolf was hiding in the background, but my magic was in full support of what I was doing.

“This is the last and final time we are going to have this conversation, Colt. Rathal is my mate. We are bonded at a soul level and that is not going to change no matter what you think or feel. I don’t care how you find a way to deal with this issue you have but figure it out… fast,” I ordered. “All of you are important and special to me in your own way. There isn’t a competition for my affection or time. It will take time for us to figure it all out, but I promise you, we will.”

Colt looked at me with his amber eyes full of fear and resignation. “Little one…”

“Instead of charging out here and acting like a possessive alpha among his fellow brothers who have every right to spend time with me, try talking,” I pushed when he trailed off.

“It’s going to take me some time to figure out how to trust the others to take care of you,” Colt admitted. “They lost you, and you ended up going on a mission, getting betrayed, attacked by vampires, and mated to an elf you don’t even know.”

I raised a brow at his last point. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I knew you for a full day before you marked and claimed me. How is this different?”

“You were meant to be mine. Ours. Wolves know the moment your scent hits us that you are the other half of us. It was odd that you called all three of us, but it felt right in the moment, even if we didn’t know it. That’s not what I feel with him. He’s on the outside looking in. An elf can’t be pack.”

“Do you realize how you sound right now?” I asked, shocked. “What if I told you that it was you on the outside of our nos, not the other way around?” Colt’s face scrunched into a scowl. “Elves have another level to their bonds that allows them to be connected on a soul level. It’s more than what you and I have. He can access my mind, my thoughts, and my feelings while I can do the same for him. There are no walls between us. Do you think you can handle that kind of bond knowing he would have the same privilege with you?”

Colt blinked a few times, looking between Rath and me. “He would be able to see all those things about me as well as you?”

Rath cleared his throat, stepping into the conversation. “The way it works with gwanur is that we have the ability to open that connection to each other but also close it. Finley would be the only one we are unable to do that with. She’s added Elias and Lane to the nos officially, so if I wanted to reach out to Lane, I would, in a sense, knock on his consciousness, and he would have to let me in before I could talk to him or understand anything else about him. Finley can close herself off to us if she needs to since she has a constant flow from all seven of us, and no one wants that many thoughts in their head. Does that make sense?”