Page 68 of Lavender’s Lost Duke

She suddenly pushed up onto her toes and kissed him. His shock only lasted a fraction of a moment before he allowed himself to revel in the press of her velvet soft lips.

Surely she would still love him once she knew he was a duke, wouldn’t she? He wanted to tell her the truth and yet, he was powerless to pull back from her kiss.

His resolve melted as quickly as snow thrown into a fire. He cradled her head in his palms and threaded his fingers into her wild curls. He lost himself in the taste of her, trying to convey how much he loved her compassion and sacrifice, her quiet strength and the way she lit his soul aflame. But more than anything, he wanted her to know that he loved her for loving him as he was, with nothing to his name, no title or wealth to draw her in. There, in the middle of the moonlit garden, Lavender Gardner reduced him to nothing but a pounding heart laid bare before her. His words would not suffice to answer her question; even saying them might ruin the moment. They would get to that later.

Chapter 33

Lavender pulled back from the intoxicating taste of Tom and searched his unshaved face. She could tell in a couple stilted breaths that he was not going to answer her question. But did he really need to? She saw the love he had for her in his stormy gray eyes, felt it in the way he’d kissed her back, heard it in every reason he’d given her that they would not suit. But her past screamed at her to be wary. She’d believed Mr. Lanscombe to be in love with her not six months ago. She could be wrong again.

Things had always been different with Tom, she reminded herself yet again. He’d never given Lavender empty promises or told her lies. From the beginning, he tried to establish proper societal lines between them. It had always been Lavender’s choice to erase those lines. And that kiss—it was as if Tom had given her heart wings. She’d never felt a sliver of the amount of passion from Mr. Lanscombe.

However, words were important. If Tom wasn’t willing to return Lavender’s sentiment, it was time she put her dreams of love on the shelf. She’d done all she could to convince him. If he rejected her again, she would send her heart with Tom, even if she could not follow it.

Swallowing bitter disappointment at Tom’s continued silence, she resolved to move forward. It was past time to bring her father some peace.

She kissed Tom once more on the cheek—knowing it would be the last time she would meet him like this. “No matter what comes next, I will always love you, Tom.”

Lavender couldn’t look at Tom, she didn’t want him to see her crying. So she rushed back to the house.

“Lady Lavender, wait,” Tom called.

But she couldn’t wait anymore. It was all she’d been doing, and she was so tired of hoping when it came to Tom. She knew about his feelings for her, but hearing them again would only make what she needed to do next more difficult. She made it all the way to her bed chamber before the full realization of her future crashed down on her. She had less than a week to discover how to free herself from Lord Chilcott’s machinations. If he ruined her like he planned to, there would be no recovery for her or her family.

She may not be married within the week, but that was better than dragging her entire family into social ruin. There would be no more entertaining Lord Chilcott; he’d declared war, and she intended to give battle.

Miriam brought a breakfast tray up to Lavender’s chamber the next morning. The way she looked at Lavender with pity made Lavender suspect that she’d not hidden the evidence of her crying all night with any success. Tom’s refusal to marry her hurt more than she could bear. But Lavender still loved him, and she believed that he knew her better than anyone in the ways that truly mattered. She’d decided in the early morning hours to take his advice and see if she would suit with the Duke of Fenleigh. It was foolish desperation, but she was out of options. She had but to find him—and thanks to Lord Chilcott, she believed she could. Lavender had put her tears away hours ago and was dressed to go out as soon as was socially acceptable. “Good morning, Miriam,” Lavender said with probably too much playfulness.

“Morning.” Miriam raised an eyebrow. “How are you?”

“I am well, thank you. I was hoping we could call on Lord Chilcott this morning.”

Miriam set the tray down and tilted her head, taking in Lavender’s forced smile. “Are you certain that is a good idea? The man plans to ruin you, if you recall?”

Lavender laughed a little. “Of course I remember. But he can’t very well do that if we visit him at his home. You would be with me as chaperone, and he has no audience.”

“That is true,” she said slowly. “But what do you wish to accomplish?”

Taking a fortifying breath, Lavender told Miriam what she’d practiced for the better part of half an hour in the wee hours of the morning: “I want to convince Lord Chilcott I love him.”

Miriam’s jaw dropped open. “But you don’t.”

“You and I both know that. But if he wants to manipulate me, I’m going to let him believe he is. Once he believes he has my compliance, I will be let into his confidence.”

Miriam pulled her lips between her teeth in obvious discomfort. “You aren’t thinking clearly. He will ruin you.”

“I’m only asking you for one visit to his house. After that, I intend to disappear for a while, whether my plan works or not.” Lavender held her chin high. “I am determined to meet the lost duke, and Lord Chilcott is the only one who can get me closer to the answers.”

“Why are you so set on finding Fenleigh?”

Lavender took a shaky breath. “Tom suggested it.”

“He suggested you go looking for the lost duke?” Miriam asked with surprise clear in her voice.

“Not precisely,” Lavender admitted. “He suggested that I might be a good match for the duke.” She could feel her eyes filling with tears, but there was nothing for it. “I trust Tom.”

Miriam nodded. “If we were to visit Lord Chilcott at his home, you would be setting the terms of who is witness to the meeting, but I still don’t like it. I believe we ought to consult with Samuel’s mother on the subject.”

Lavender nodded. “Wonderful. Is she awake?”