Page 41 of Lavender’s Lost Duke

He was helpless, and he’d never be the same. Not after seeing her like this. He should have been there at her side if she was in the garden. Why had no one told him she was there? It was his job to protect her, and he’d failed. He couldn’t feel her pain, but the torment that racked his mind and heart in her behalf was making him lightheaded.

“It’s alright, Lavender,” Miriam cooed. “Your arm is fine. But I need you to remain still so I can locate the stinger.”

Thomas helped Lady Lavender remove her gloves. He took one of her trembling hands in his own and she squeezed with a strength he would not have supposed she possessed. Her strength in that moment gave Thomas the anchor he needed to be strong for her in return. Mrs. Bitters held her other hand, and seconds later, Miriam pulled back with the tweezers.

“She smells like the rose water,” Miriam said. “Who has it and how much did we use?”

Thomas handed over the vial to Miriam. “I used a few drops.”

“Let’s do some more now that the stinger is gone.” She rubbed more of the liquid onto Lady Lavender’s angry skin and then sat on the table beside her.

“I was so afraid no one would find me,” Lady Lavender sobbed into Miriam’s shoulder. “It was just like the last time I . . .”

“Shhhh.” Miriam hugged Lavender close and then helped her to stand. “I’m going to take you to your bed.” She turned to Thomas. “You’ll need to let her go.”

Thomas didn’t even realize he hadn’t released her hand, and he didn’t want to. He ached to be the one to carry her up the stairs.

“Bring up a bowl of ice, please,” Miriam added as she pulled Thomas’s hand from Lavender’s.

He did as he was bid, his heart thudding wildly all the while. He feared for her life, and he did not know how to find peace if he weren’t with her.

What was worse, Miriam asked him to leave after he delivered the ice, so he stood there outside her bedchamber door, listening to her sob and wishing for nothing more than to be let inside. He wanted to hold her, to whisper into her hair, to rub his affection for her into the scars on her arm, but he wasn’t allowed to do any of that, especially as Tom Smith. He ground his foot into the carpet as he turned to leave.

The entire household was communicating her recovery throughout the course of the day. The duchess proclaimed that she would be fine, thanks to the quick administration of the rose water and the steady actions of everyone involved. If only Thomas had felt steady while caring for her. He’d felt like a boat tossed in a storm, holding tight to the things he cared for most and not caring for what he lost in the meantime.

By the time he was allowed to go to bed, the rush of anxiety had passed. Lady Lavender was sleeping soundly, and the swelling was already going down. Miriam could not recall hearing of a bee sting being healed so quickly in Lady Lavender’s past. A tiredness seeped into Thomas’s bones, even though his mind would not rest. He could not forget her sheer panic.

Jack sat on the edge of Thomas’s bed with the book they’d been reading and a candle burning between them. Already, the young man had made substantial progress in his reading. If only the spelling of the words made more sense, it would be easier to teach. Thomas wasn’t equipped with the tools to be a sufficient teacher. Still, Lady Lavender would be proud of Jack the next time she sat down to read The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes. Thomas rubbed his eyes. “Are you needing a distraction tonight as well? You’re reading so well, you ought to read to me as I fall asleep.”

“It’s not nearly as fun if I don’t feel like I’m winning a battle with Daniel. But yes, I need to think of something better than watching our lady suffer,” Jack said with a solemn dip of his head.

The walls between the servants’ rooms were thin, so as they took turns reading, they did their best to keep their voices low in order to allow the others their rest. Thomas gave Jack’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’m proud of you. Your reading is coming along quite well.”

Jack’s freckled-faced smile was brighter than the light from the candle. “I’m as pleased as a covey in February.”

Thomas laughed. “What does that mean?”

Jack shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just what comes out of this untamed mouth of mine.”

“You must be tired.” Thomas eventually closed the book and blew out the candle. They both settled onto their thin mattresses in the dark.

“You didn’t go out to the garden tonight,” Jack whispered.

“No, Lady Lavender wasn’t there.” It was better for both of them right now anyway.

“She wasn’t happy today. While you were pruning the hedges, she came and put the oil on my hands. But something wasn’t right. Usually she feels like the sunny spot that comes through a large window, but today she felt like a gust of icy wind. You should talk to her. She likes you.”

Jack’s words were likely meant to be informative and encouraging, but they had the opposite effect. Guilt sliced through Thomas. He didn’t want to be the source of her unhappiness, and yet, he’d done just that. “She likes you, too, Jack.”

“Of course she does. Why wouldn’t she?” his voice was jovial. “But it’s different with you.”

At least it had been before he went and ruined everything. “When she goes back out to the garden, I’ll be there for her.”

“I know you will.” Jack let out a long yawn. “You’re a good one, Tom.”

“Thanks, Jack. Everything I know I learned from you.”

Thomas was helping muck out the stables when there was a disturbance out in the street, whooping and hollering just beyond the gate, making his heart sink. It sounded like a riot outside of Samuel’s home. As he’d sworn to help protect Samuel’s family, Thomas ran, leading a small army of servants to the gate and onto the street. A young maid was in the middle of the cobbled path on her knees, crying.