Page 47 of Kingdom of Death and Hope

I thought everything was better when I ran out of the salve. It all looked good and so I didn’t check any of it since the last time. Mother asked to see it and realized it was starting to get infected, I mumble.

Was meeting me what aggravated it? he asks.

Probably not. I didn’t want to look at it and remember everything that happened, so even though it looked good, I didn’t take care of it by washing it and making sure nothing got on it. It was all my doing and none of yours.

Oh, Sweets.

I look up at the ceiling and fan my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying.

I’m going to be okay.

I hope.

I can’t help but shake the feeling that it’s only going to get worse and something terrible is going to happen to my leg. What if Avira placed some type of spell on my cuts to make sure they never heal and get infected?

No.

She wouldn’t have done that. But she definitely could have. That would be one way she would be able to torture me when she can’t get close to me.

I can’t think that way though. Nothing good is going to come from thinking that way.

How bad is the infection? Kieran asks.

Red, swollen, and almost puffy, I mutter.

Is there pus?

I look down at the cut but quickly look away. How am I going to clean this when I don’t even want to look at it?

I don’t know, I manage to say. I can’t bring myself to look at it for too long.

You are going to have to when you clean it. Just start breathing evenly before and focus on your breathing as you look at it. I’ll be here the whole time so you can talk to me to keep calm or I can talk to you. You just let me know what you want to do.

I don’t know.

“Is everything okay?” Mother asks as she peeks into the bathroom.

“I’m trying to look at my cut and clean it but I can’t,” I whine.

“Do you want me to help you?” She walks into the bathroom and kneels down in front of me.

“He wants me to look at it and clean it,” I whisper.

Everything is getting too much and I don’t know what to do.

“How about I tell you what it looks like in detail and you can tell him?” Mother suggests. “And then I can clean it for you. Once you are ready to look at it and clean it, I will be here for you and I know he will be as well. But you don’t need to push yourself too hard.”

“Okay.”

Mother tells me exactly what it looks like and I relay the message to Kieran, letting him know I wasn’t able to do it and my mother is helping.

“I want you to bite down on this while I clean it,” Mother says as she hands me a washcloth. “Bite down as hard as you want.”

CHAPTER 17

Was your mother able to help you clean your wound? Kieran asks after several hours.

I close my eyes as I rest in the kitchen. Mother helped me back into the kitchen after she cleaned my wounds and I immediately laid my head on the table to rest and try to make it through the pain.