Page 168 of Kingdom of Death and Hope

“Wait, where are you going?” I call after him and take a step, but I’m stopped when a hand grabs mine.

“He is giving us some privacy so we can talk about things,” Kieran says.

My head whirls toward him. “When did you get here?” I ask. “What did you hear?”

A small smile forms on his face. “You trying to act like you care but not care too much. But you want to know something?”

I nod and he leans forward, his mouth mere centimeters away from my ear.

“You are terribly at trying to act like you don’t care while also being very curious,” he whispers.

My face flushes and I look away as he pulls back.

“Don’t be embarrassed now. It was quite cute,” he replies.

“Everyone was worried about us, and hearing it from Henry just made me curious,” I mumble.

“And made you a little worried about me,” he states.

“I never said that!” I raise my voice as I turn to him.

“But I could feel the emotions. They don’t lie through the bond. No matter how hard you try to change it for the other person.” Kieran wraps his arms around me and holds me close. “It’s okay. I was never mad at you. I was mad at myself for causing you so much pain when you are already going through a lot.”

“To be honest I don’t think you telling me any way would have made me not angry at you and a little hurt inside,” I tell him. “I know I’ve done it to you when I was getting tortured, but you knew about it so it feels a tiny bit different. I think I was more hurt that you lied about it.”

He hums and runs his hands up and down my back.

“I think I was hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me at the time. I know you were worried about me and how I was going to react if I felt all your worries, but I would have understood if you told me you didn’t want me to feel your emotions. I would have asked you to explain and I would hope that I would have been okay with it,” I continue.

“But if you knew that I was constantly worried about you, would that have been on your mind even if I told you that I had full confidence in you?” he asks.

I pull back slightly and look up at Kieran. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know if it would have been on my mind or if I would have been too busy to really pay attention to those thoughts.”

We’ll never know now. But Kieran did what he thought was best at the moment and maybe he was right to do it. I just wish he hadn’t.

Kieran cups my face. “From now on we will tell each other if we have to close our feelings and pain, understand?”

I nod.

“Words.”

“Yes, Kieran. I understand.”

He runs his thumb back and forth. “But we are going to try our hardest not to hide them.”

“Correct,” I agree with him.

Kieran pulls me back into chest. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s okay,” I mumble into his chest. “It hurt, but I do see why you did it.”

Kieran kisses the top of my head and holds me.

“My mother was worried about me last night when I came home. Henry seemed worried when we were walking here,” I say, trying to make conversation.

“Every Fae was worried as well. They kept asking me if you were alright and what had happened,” Kieran chuckles. “I thought I was about to get disowned for a couple of days because I had hurt you.”

I shake my head and pull away from Kieran. “They wouldn’t actually do that, would they?” I ask.