Page 166 of Kingdom of Death and Hope

I shake my head. “We can come back tomorrow. I’ll be ready tomorrow.”

I have no idea if I will actually be ready to see Kieran tomorrow, but right now I know if I stay anywhere close to him I’m going to end up forgetting about what he did behind my back. I want to be able to process it now rather than let it fester inside some for who knows how long and take it out on him later.

“Kieran, we’ll talk more about it tomorrow. I just need a couple of hours to really think about it,” I whisper. “I don’t want to say something that I am going to regret later.”

“I understand,” Kieran replies. “I’ll be available if you want to talk tonight, and if not then I will see you tomorrow.”

I take a shaky breath and slowly start walking back to town with Henry right next to me. My heart tugs with each step I take. All I want to do is run back to Kieran and wrap my arms around him and say anything and everything that comes to mind.

But we don’t have time for that, and I may say something that I’m going to regret later. Once words are said, you can’t take them back.

“Is everything okay?” Henry asks as we get closer to the house.

I shrug my shoulders and pick at the hangnail.

“Whatever it is, if you need to talk about it I’m here. You two are going to make it through,” he says.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

I walk into the house without another word and immediately go into my room and sit at the end of my bed, looking at the white wall in front of me.

Every single emotion is going through my mind as I replay what he did. He kept his emotions a secret even after he said we weren’t going to hide them. Part of me can understand what he was doing since I did something similar, but he was in the know when I hid them from him.

I was completely in the dark.

Will he do this later when the curse is broken? Will he hide things away from me in other areas?

I know I shouldn’t be thinking this way, but I can’t help but let my mind wonder about them. He has done it once and it becomes easier every single time you do it.

Tears of frustration roll down my face and I angrily wipe them off my face.

“How could you do something like this?” I whisper to myself as I lie back in my bed.

“Do what?” Mother asks as she sits down on the side of my bed.

CHAPTER 20

“Idon’t want to talk about it,” I mumble and close my eyes.

Mother gently runs her hand up and down my arm. “Whenever you are ready to talk about it, I’m here for you. I may not know a lot about them or the situation you are going through, but sometimes talking them out will help reveal things to yourself and make them clear.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to rest here for a little bit,” I whisper.

She pats my shoulder before getting up and leaving my room. I roll over onto my side and take a deep breath. Should I talk to her about it, or should I try and talk to Kieran and let him hear all of my unfiltered thoughts?

I’m sorry for acting the way I did, I mumble through the bond.

Even though I need time away from him to think through everything, it’s impossible for me to actually not talk to him. I want to be near him every second of the day, and I want to constantly be talking to him as well.

Sweets, it’s alright. I didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you, but I also didn’t want to tell you like this. I wanted to tell you when we had time to talk it through, he replies. Why don’t you get some rest? I can hum to help you.

Please.

“Were you able to get more sleep last night?” Mother asks.

I shake my head. I fell asleep rather quickly when Kieran was humming to me, but I was plagued with nightmares and woke up several times.

“Thinking about what happened yesterday?” She gets busy making some breakfast.