Page 163 of Kingdom of Death and Hope

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You won’t become Fae. But your body will change and you will live a long life with me.”

“And it can only happen with mates and not any other person?” I ask, immediately thinking about my mother and younger brother.

“It can only happen through mates,” he says sadly. “It is tough when you’re human. You do have to watch friends and family members die, but you will also make so many new friends and I will make sure to make you happy every single day.”

“I—” I start, but I close my mouth quickly.

I’ve already lost one parent and I know with each passing year my mother could go as well, but to watch my younger brother—twenty-five years younger than me—die is going to be hard. He should outlive me.

“Before I forget.” Kieran stands up and pulls something out of his pocket.

“I forgot to bring the lemons and sugar.” I pout.

“Next time.” Kieran smiles.

“But I wanted them the next time I saw you,” I mumble, and look down at my hands.

Kieran pulls my face up so we are looking at each other.

“It just gives you another reason to see me sooner.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Here are the herbs I was talking about before,” Kieran says as he hands me a bag. “Just put a little in some tea and let it steep for a while. Then when you’re ready to go to bed, drink some and go lay in bed.”

I look at the bag in my hands, running my thumbs across it before looking back up at Kieran. “What if it doesn’t work?”

What if nothing can help me sleep any better than he can?

He tilts his head to the side. “If it doesn’t work?”

I nod.

“I don’t think anyone has ever asked that. They normally ask what they should do if it works too well,” he hums. “But if it doesn’t work then increase how much you put in and see if that works.”

“What if no matter how much I put in it doesn’t work?” I whisper.

Do I want it to work or am I secretly hoping it doesn’t?

Even though I’m scared out of my mind to be asleep for that long without any protection, I do know that I need sleep or like Kieran said, I may pass out in the worst time possible and be in even more danger.

Kieran cups my face with his hands. “Don’t think like that. It’s going to work. Try it in the morning so that you have Henry outside your house and your mother is awake. If it works then take it again at night to help you sleep. But I don’t want you sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. It’s not good for your health.”

“What if that’s the only way I can sleep?” I can’t help but ask.

I really need to stop asking questions, but I can’t help it. They are just coming out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Whenever I’m worried about something and I’m near Kieran they just come tumbling out, almost like they are begging Kieran to hear them and help me calm down.

“Then we will try something else that can help you sleep during the night. I just want you to try it once in the day so you know how it feels before you try it at night,” Kieran says. “But you are going to overcome this and become stronger. I believe in you.”

“If only you could sneak into the house at night,” I mumble. “I can easily fall asleep next to you. My whole body just relaxes, like it knows you will take care of everything and I don’t have to worry about anything.”

Now I just want to feel like that every single day, all day.

Kieran kisses my forehead. “And I’m glad your body and mind know that because it’s true. When you are with me you don’t need to worry about anything or be on alert.”

CHAPTER 19

“Do you think they are any closer to finding out how to break the curse?” I mumble to myself as I sit in the kitchen.

Mother turns her head to me. “What was that?”