Page 66 of Queen of Nothing

An echo.

I live in it, and I fight to stay in it, because if I don’t, I cry.

I cry a lot. At night, in the car, in the bathroom of whatever place I work at in whatever town we pick.

Just as I weep now, and Serena merely stares at me.

Blank, unmoving, just staring.

Then she looks down and runs her thumb over the face of the watch.

After a beat, she says, “He let you go.”

I shift on the mattress, leaning against the wall. Slumped, I nod and pick at the bedspread.

Serena’s shoulders relax with a whooshing sigh, an exhale so loud and raw that it’s undeniably guttural.

The only thing I keep from her is the last words he said to me, ‘Call when you are ready to come home.’

If Serena knows I’m miserable here in this little life with her, she doesn’t acknowledge it, and I don’t either.

Maybe it’s something unsaid between us. But to tell her what Oliver said would be to shine a light on it.

Because even Oliver knows I’m unhappy.

Serena lets the watch fall to the mattress. “It doesn’t surprise me.”

I turn a faint, tired frown on her. “What doesn’t?”

“That Oliver let you go.”

A heartbeat passes.

I level my stare with hers. “It surprised me.”

Serena cuts her gaze to the TV glare stretching up the wall. “Oliver always talked about you in a way that… that made me accept you would be living at Elcott Abbey for the rest of your life. He spoke about it as though it was a given.”

That frown cuts deeper into my face. “But I had offers.”

A faint scoff pushes out of her.

“Oliver did a lot to kill those offers,” she says. “He was in your father’s ear almost every day. I think Oliver wanted you to stay at Elcott. Forever. So when Dray put an offer on your contract…” Serena exhales with dread, her slim cheeks puffing out, “Oliver was livid. He left the academy for a whole weekend to argue with your father.”

I make a face, all frowns and creases and pouts.

It doesn’t make sense.

Oliver was a part of it.

He was always part of it…

He wore his mask.

He played his part.

And I’m supposed to accept that he’s been working behind the curtain to save me?

I rub my temple, hard, and my face twists.