Page 6 of Queen of Nothing

So I decide it’s absolutely useless and leave it on the edge of the bathtub.

My fatigue is turning to laziness.

But really, it’s all catching up to me.

The bad food, the anxiety, the battering from Asta, the backhand from Dray, and the ache in my chest.

I don’t feel so good.

The constant krum travel doesn’t help. It might weather me more than veils ever did.

And there’s a tickle at the back of my dry throat, so I might be getting sick, too.

I clear my throat, as though that’ll vanquish the tickle.

It doesn’t.

So I tackle the next pain.

I roll my shoulders once, twice, as though it will help ease the growing ache spreading over my back.

Another failure.

I need a massage. I need a physical therapist. I need a witchdoctor, lotions and balms only available to the witches of the world.

But all I have is peasantry.

The lingering steam fills the mouldy bathroom, despite that I turned off the shower a few minutes ago and that roaring ceiling fan is fighting for its life.

No ventilation, I guess.

My mouth twists with disgust. Mould is all around me, burrowed into the lines between the tiles and along the base of the toilet.

I need to get out of this steam den immediately.

But I’m not done.

The mirror is fogged over.

I wipe my hand down my reflection.

For a moment, I stare at myself. At the cuts on my lips, the discolouration around my eyes.

I force myself to look away.

The steam climbs back up the mirror above the sink.

Loosening a sigh, I grab the toothbrush perched delicately on the edge of the basin.

Without a reflection, I get started.

Might be better that I don’t see myself in the mirror. At least not until I’ve healed better.

My gaze drifts over the claustrophobic, tiled bathroom, from the black mould that’s dotted along the shower seals to the rotting windowsill.

I spit out the last of the toothpaste, then dab the soothing lotion all over my body. Changed my mind again. Guess it’s better to have eucalyptus lotion than to have nothing at all.

I rush it, and I’m left feeling as unclean as I did when I came into the bathroom.