Page 136 of The Casanova Complex

He laughs, and a tear tracks down my cheek. Using the rough pad of his thumb, he swipes it away.

“We’re stronger than that. I know who you are Bennett. I trust you, and if I didn’t, I would never have gotten into a relationship with you to begin with.”

Was there a single second moment of doubt that crossed my mind when I first saw it, where I was terrified it could be true? Maybe, just a split second.

But that’s it. And it was Blake’s unfaithfulness that doubt stemmed from, not Bennett.

“That’s the thing about Blake. I know he doesn’t love me—he never really loved me because he loved the idea of me, almost as much as he loves himself. And I’m just a very shiny, unattainable object to him. He only wants me only because he can’t have me. His ego, his narcissistic complex makes him believe that I’m just going to come crawling back and pretend that nothing ever happened because in his mind, there’s no one better. Even if we weren’t together, Bennett… even if I wasn’t in love with you, I’m never going to believe Blake’s bullshit again. I would never go back to him.”

I look up at him through watery eyes. “I’m sorry that he got in your head and that there was ever any doubt. I’m yours, Bennett, fully and completely.”

His hands curve around my waist, and he hauls me against him, crushing me into his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around me in a suffocating hug. I can feel the palpable relief seeping out of him.

“Jesus, baby, when he told me you left the arena after talking to him, and I couldn’t find you in the stands… I just thought the fucking worst. I was petrified. I swear I thought about walking out of the game.”

My eyes widen. “Bennett, no.”

He shrugs. “Hockey has always been my life. I’ve lived and breathed it since I was eight years old. I hope that it’s my future… Even though I honestly don’t know if that’s going to be the case anymore, but if I didn’t already know I was in love with you, tonight solidified it. I realized that all of this—hockey, the future, my dreams—it means nothing if I don’t have you. If I didn’t have you to share it with, to celebrate the wins, and lament the lows. Hockey isn’t my life anymore, Merritt. You are.”

“I love you.” I throw my arms around his shoulders and pull his mouth back to mine, tasting the salt of my tears that I can’t seem to turn off. “I love you so much, Bennett Legros.”

Suddenly, my feet leave the floor when he lifts me up, my legs wrapping tightly around his waist. Times like these, when he’s pouring his love into me like this, I’ve never felt closer to another human being than I do him. Mentally, emotionally, physically.

It feels like the most divine sign from the universe that I picked the right man. That I trusted the right man with the most important part of me… my heart.

I pull my lips away when something he said tugs at the back of my mind, and I peer down at him.

“Wait… What did you mean by not knowing if hockey is your future?”

A ghost of discomfort passes across his face, and I feel him tense. Did something happen?

“I’m graduating in three months, and I’ve got no interest. No offers. My season started out rocky, I was off my game, and even though, aside from tonight, it’s been incredible since then… I think it’s time to accept that I might not play professionally.”

My mouth hangs open. “Bennett, you’re incredible. There’s no way that is not going to happen.”

He shrugs. “It might. It might not. It’s just… been something I’ve struggled with a lot this year, more in the last few months. My purpose, my future, wondering if I’m really good enough to make it in a career that’s built with the best of the best. I don’t know if I’m one of those guys. All of this has made me question what happens next if it’s not hockey? What’s my plan B?”

I’m torn between throttling him for doubting his abilities, doubting how truly amazing he is on the ice, and wanting to wrap him up tighter than ever, comforting that very same part of him.

I curve my palm along the sharp edge of his jaw and force him to look at me.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve felt this way? This whole time, you’ve been suffering in silence, and I had no idea, Bennett.”

His eyes glint with vulnerability. “I just didn’t want to take away from all the incredible things happening for you. You got into law school, baby. My shit feels heavy, and I didn’t want to steal your joy. It’s my job as your boyfriend to make you happy.”

“Bennett…” I breathe, shaking my head. “We’re supposed to lean on each other. You should never have to go through something like this alone. You can always talk to me about anything. God, I just feel so horrible that I’ve been over here celebrating without a care in a world, and you were hurting.”

“No. That’s exactly what I didn’t want,” he says firmly. “Our relationship was so new, and I guess I just didn’t want to bring us down by bringing it up. Every time I thought about telling you, it just didn’t feel like the right time. And it’s already been stressful and disappointing to talk to my parents about all of this. The more I thought about the possibility of me not achieving my dream… I don’t know, the more scared I got. And then I met you and was even more afraid because I want to be a man worthy of you.”

“Being worthy of me has nothing to do with hockey, Bennett. You are worthy of me because you love me, perfectly, all of me. Because you are a good man with a beautiful, tender heart. Because you have shown me what love truly is, and that is what makes you worthy. Not what your job is or what your future holds. And you’re not going to give up, even when it seems far away. I won’t let you. So what if you haven’t been approached by a team yet? It doesn’t mean that it’s not going to happen. Things happen when they’re supposed to, and it doesn’t always align with the timelines that we’ve set. Sometimes you have to trust that even if you think it’s late or out of reach, you’re enough. I need you to believe in yourself the way that I believe in you, Goalie.”

His mouth kicks up in a small grin, and my eyes trace the curve of his lips. “Believe in yourself the way you believe in me. You’re the king of hyping me up when I’m letting my intrusive thoughts win, are you not?”

“Someone’s gotta protect that big beautiful brain of yours.” He laughs.

“Exactly. So, give yourself the same grace and energy. You can still be drafted.”

Bennett shakes his head, chuckling. “No, baby. I can’t. I’m past the draft age.”