Page 124 of The English Bookstore in Bologna

A few minutes after the event was supposed to start, Bianca clinked her wineglass and motioned everyone to their seats. There were more people than chairs, so some were forced to stand in the back.

“I want to thank everyone for coming.” She felt strangely nervous and shaky, despite typically having no problems speaking in public. “While we wait on Sandy and Moira, I thought I’d introduce myself and see if you had any questions or wanted to throw tomatoes at me. I’m the author of the book, and I moved down the street a couple of months ago.”

A few hands shot up.

The first woman, midsixties, wearing a string of pearls, said in a strong British accent, “I’m so glad you’re here. It’s a great book.”

Bianca waited for the but.

None came.

“Where did the idea for Peggy Meh come from?”

“Isn’t that a question. Right to the heart of it.” She was about to give them more of an answer than they bargained for when Sandy and Moira came rushing in.

“There they are! Our lovely hosts.”

Both were out of breath as they joined the circle. Moira sat down next to Bianca and took the floor. “I’m so sorry, everyone. I was held up, but welcome! I can’t believe the turnout. What a thrill. I don’t even want to interrupt. I suppose you’ve met our guest of honor.”

“I was starting to answer some questions.”

“Wonderful. Please don’t let me get in the way.”

All eyes went back to Bianca. It was now or never.

Bianca had never been one to open up about herself. Never let them see you sweat. Today felt different, though.

Who in the flipping world cared whether she was perfect? Perhaps it was better to be honest and open, to pour out her heart. If she were to ever write another book, that’s what she’d do differently. She wouldn’t hide behind a fake name. She’d own her damage. Strut it, even!

Bianca rubbed her hands together, ready to start a fire, ready to leave some serious burn marks—the right kind. “Someone asked where Peggy Meh came from. Let me tell you.” She set the stage for those who hadn’t read the book yet, then spoke about the name being a placeholder. “I was going to search and replace it with a proper name once I found one, but then my agent, who fired me today, decided it was catchy. According to the reviews so far, I wouldn’t say ‘catchy’ is what readers are saying.” Damn right she finger-quoted catchy.

“The reviews aren’t good?” a woman asked, this one part of a trio of fortysomethings.

“Um, no,” Bianca said. “I’ve been shredded to pieces, actually. But that’s okay. I could have done better.”

“I loved it,” Moira said. “And you know what, screw the reviews. People have no idea what they’re talking about these days.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.”

Others chimed in, saying similarly nice things.

“Thanks to all of you, but if I could do it again, I’d do things differently. Firstly, I’d search and replace Peggy’s name with my own, because what I’ve realized is I wrote this book for me. Or about me. Maybe both.” Saying it soothed her soul.

She raised her hand high. “I am Bianca Meh . . . trying to become Bianca Megawatt. That’s who I’ve always been, on a desperate path to supercharge myself. And I’ve refused to let anyone see the real me till I became that supercharged person. But thanks to a few friends lately, and my dad, and thanks to Italy, too, I’ve realized that I’ve gotten this whole thing wrong. I built a practice back in Austin based on what I thought would make a person matter, the importance of becoming supercharged, of leaving burn marks, but that’s not what life’s about.”

Bianca looked over at the stack of her books featured on an endcap of the self-development section. “Forgive me, Moira. I’m so grateful for your help in promoting this book, but I need to do something that I’ve wanted to do all day.”

She stood and took one of the copies of the book and held up the cover, then she pointed to the middle figure in the evolution of Peggy Meh, who grew taller and skinnier and stronger with each transformation.

“This is where the book should have stopped. No one needs to be a Megawatt. In fact, I’m officially disbanding the Megawatters right now. What I’ve laid out is an unachievable path to perfection. Yeah, there are good ideas here, but I went too far. What about Peggy in the Middle? What about Bianca in the Middle? A slightly damaged human trying to better herself without beating herself up. Without being ashamed.”

Bianca smiled, feeling everyone staring at her but not worried about it. This was the best she’d felt since swimming in the sea in Ischia.

You will never be here again, Bianca. Own this moment with your entire self.

“My readers always ask if I’m working on anything new. What I want to do is rewrite this book. No, not even rewrite it. Just tear it in half.” She opened the book, guesstimated the middle, then started to tear.

“Okay, this was a lot easier in my head.”