Page 279 of Mad Girl

“Nothing,” I said evenly, despite the wild flutter of my pulse, pounding in my throat.

Wisely, Michael stood. “I should get going,” he said, holding your gaze as he exited the room.

When I tried slipping past you myself, you backed up, blocking my path.

“What was that?” you asked roughly, your eyes turning a dark and turbulent blue as they bore into mine.

“What was what?”

“You and Michael.”

“We were talking.”

“Do you normally stroke Michael’s face whilst having an intimate conversation with him in the dark?” you asked, tilting your head to one side.

“Stop saying whilst,” I said, knocking into your arm as I passed, “and what I do with Michael is none of your business.”

“You can’t be serious,” you scoffed.

“Dead serious,” I said, shooting you a glare. “Also: fuck you.”

Your head snapped back. “What did I do?”

“You’re smart, right? Why don’t you mull it over whilst locking up down here? I’m going to bed.”

Late the following morning, I came downstairs for breakfast to find you standing over a steaming cup of coffee.

“Hey,” you said as I walked out of the pantry with a box of cereal. “Can we talk?”

“I’d rather not.”

“I don’t like the way we left things last night.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not concerned about what you like right now,” I said, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet.

“You’re angry because we were meant to be together, but then I…sort of turned my back on you over the Libby thing.”

“Ding ding ding,” I said. “Unfortunately, that’s only one of the reasons you’re an asshole.”

“Right—and I owe you an apology for how I handled that.”

“Don’t bother.”

You snatched the cereal box from my hand. “Don’t fucking brush me off. I’m trying here.”

“Give it back,” I said, twisting to reach for it.

“No,” you replied, totally unaffected. “Not until you hear me out.”

“Fine.” I crossed my arms. “But chances are, I’ll still believe you’re an asshole.”

Your jaw ticked. “Look, when I found you in my room the night of the election, I was mad at you. I’d just watched Libby win—with her whole family standing up there onstage—and it made me feel hopeless. I’m not saying it excuses my behavior—at all—but I wanted you that night. I needed you. I knew I wouldn’t handle it well if she won, and I didn’t handle it well.” You paused to swallow. “And you weren’t there.”

“I was there, Casey. I waited up for you, and you didn’t want to tell me how the election made you feel. You didn’t want me to be there for you at all. You wanted to punish me for slipping off that pedestal you’d put me on two nights before. What I did to Libby was wrong, I get that, but it had nothing to do with us.”

“You’re right. I just—I do this. I get close to people, and it doesn’t take very much for me to push them away. It’s something I’m working on with my therapist, actually, because I don’t want to do it anymore. Especially with you.”

Remorse flickered in your eyes, and I believed you. But I couldn’t forget about the person you’d left to meet or the shocking little truths I’d learned from Michael. Jake.