Page 60 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

The guilt that burned and ebbed inside me for so long over her death has faded into a dull throb that seems like it will never truly fade. But seeing Kalel only makes the sting fresher.

This time, when I bring her up, instead of sadness that drowns him, his eyes are filled with warmth and peace.

“Yes. We had a nice, long conversation. It was almost like we’d only been apart for a short time… I told her about everything that’s happened in the world above since her death. About the wars, the curse…you.” Kalel stares at me, clutching the mug as if it’s a lifeline.

The way that I ran away from her and the remorse I had still sit with me. Yet another thing I dwell on. Why can’t we seem to let things rest?

“I’m sorry I left… I couldn’t bring myself to face her. If I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have gotten lost.” I take another small sip of the tea before setting it down on the side table. I draw my legs up to my chest and lean against the back of the couch.

Kalel regards me with a forlorn and distant look passing over his gaze. “Fate is cruel, but we seem to be served what we need. I found you, didn’t I? I couldn’t count how long it had been since you vanished, but during that time, I truly feel like I’ve changed. In here.” He presses his hand to his heart. “My mother said a lot of things that made me revisit our faults. I wish I could’ve changed so many things, Alira. But if all our suffering brings us together, then it will have all been worth it.”

He sets down his tea and moves closer to me on the couch until he’s setting his chin on my knees and gazing into my eyes.

“I don’t want to suffer anymore,” I murmur, as if it is a sin to be so weary.

He studies me and draws circles on top of my knee. “Then we stay here. This cottage will be our home, and I will love you until Mortem has faced its own peril.” He cracks a grin.

I smile at the image of that warm, quiet life. “You know we can’t do that. It’s already been a week… You said you weren’t sure how long you were searching.” I brush a strand of his onyx hair from his face. “We’ve been dead for a week down here already. Only a little over two minutes in Faultore.”

His eyes widen. “It felt much longer than that.” I smile at his humor. This isn’t the stressed-out and uptight demon I’ve grown to know. I like this side of him. I wonder if there’s a part of me that he’s discovering too. “Really, though? Only two minutes above?” He hums in thought.

I nod. “Do you think they’ve found our bodies by now?” My stomach reels at the idea of it. I wonder if we are staring into each other’s eyes as we are now.

Korin. Nikolai and Tessa. I hope they are all okay.

I felt betrayed by Tessa when she turned me over to the king. But everything seems so much clearer after time has passed. All the anger has melted from my bones and slipped away. She was trying to protect what she thought was right. We are all guilty of that.

Kalel closes his eyes, putting an ache in my chest. I killed him. That violent part of me is like a rot that spreads into the deepest parts of my soul. I make a promise to myself that I will never lift my sword or harm him again.

“Probably not.” Kalel lets his fingers brush against my lower lip. Drawing a blush across my cheeks. “Two minutes isn’t very long. I wonder if we could at least manage another two or three minutes before returning.” His smile is tilted, making me blush and fall for him even more.

“I don’t see why not,” I murmur against his lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he says as he scoops me up and takes me to my bed.

I pause and set my hand on his chest. He gives me a curious look.

“In front of the fireplace,” I whisper. My lips curl meekly, and his eyes flash with surprise before they narrow with lust.

“Have you been thinking about me, little godling?” He slides his hand up my thigh and presses his fingers against my center. My cheeks flush, and I take a shallow breath. “Have you been thinking about my knot and how ruthless our first time back together would be? A week is a long time for us.” His voice is hoarse, sending heat to my stomach.

“Yes,” I whisper against the shell of his ear, and he groans, pushing his lips into my shoulder like he wants to bite me again.

He pulls back and nods to the fireplace. “Let’s bring the blankets there, then. I’m not above having my wife on the floor. Who am I to deny you anything?” he says playfully.

I laugh as I settle in front of the fire. Thinking of the first time we were here, back outside of Alzhor. It was so cold that he covered me in a blanket⁠—

Kalel drapes the blanket over my shoulders and wraps his arms around me. I flinch in surprise and look up at him. He drops his head onto my shoulder and says gently, “I wanted you so badly that first day. Your heat was unbearable to deny. I wanted to do unspeakable things that no demon and demigod should ever partake in.”

“Show me,” I murmur, slipping from the blanket and shedding my robe with it. The warm glow of the embers is our only light. But I can see his eyes flicker with fervor at the sight of me. “Show me the unspeakable things you’ve thought of.”

He doesn’t even smile at me. He closes the gap between us as if his next breath hinges on our kiss. His lips meet mine, and he slowly works out of his clothes as our tongues dance and our hands explore one another like it’s the first time we’ve properly met.

And perhaps it is.

Under no false pretenses and promises of forgotten pasts.

“I would search for you until the end of time if I had to.” He kisses my collarbone and lowers me onto my back. The sheets engulf us as he slowly makes his way down my chest and stomach, kissing and touching every groove of my skin and divot of my bones.