Page 50 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

I let my hand meet his. We thread our fingers together, and it settles the dark depths that have been wreaking havoc inside me.

Kalel pushes the door, and it slowly opens into a dark abyss. I can’t see one inch inside the darkness. It looks like a void, or a black hole that will swallow us down into the depths.

“Don’t be afraid, Alira. We’ll go together.”

I swallow and nod, taking a step into the dark at the same time he does. The shadows morph around us like smoke, and I can’t see Kalel even though we’re still linked by our hands.

It’s so cold that my legs seize up a few times. I’m only pulled along by Kalel’s strong grip.

“There’s nothing here… Is this our Mortem? Darkness? Is this our divine punishment for our crimes against the world?” My voice doesn’t go far. It feels like I’m speaking to a wall; the sound won’t carry.

Kalel tightens his grip and stops walking to touch my other arm with his hand. I let my chin dip, defeat and despair ebbing their way into my heart.

Is this it for us?

He smooths his hand up my arm and neck until he reaches my face. I can’t see him even though he’s right in front of me, and yet I picture the way he’d be looking at me right now perfectly. He always has such cumbersome sorrow in his soul.

His palm is warm against my cheek. I inhale and lean into it, my senses filling with his warmth and the scent of Florum Forest the night we met for the second time—the campfire and the trees that hid everything within them.

“If anyone deserves divine punishment, it’s me.” His forehead meets mine, and I wish for nothing more than to be able to see him. “The things I’ve done…are unforgivable. I know nothing more than to destroy things.”

Tears brim in my eyes. I know the guilt he carries. I carried as much when I thought I was the only monster between us. But the weight seems a little more bearable now that it’s shared.

“Let’s keep going.” I take a step back from him, keeping our hands locked together in fear that we’ll be separated in the dark.

He’s quiet for a beat before he starts walking forward again.

We wander for what feels like hours. Time is warped in here, but we’ve roamed for so long already that I’m convinced we’re going to perish in the dark. Will we be forgotten? Aren’t most things in the end?

“This is pointless! We’re not getting anywhere.” I let go of his hand and turn to run back to Pluto’s doors. The god has to give us more guidance. He can’t just leave us out here to be lost forever in his domain.

“Alira, don’t separate!” Kalel cries out. His steps sound like they are treading on top of a thin line of water. Are we nearing the ocean? Near anything? My senses are screaming to find something to cling to.

I don’t stop running. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be dead.

Especially with him.

The person who hurt me more than anyone else ever has, yet claims to love me.

“Alira. Please. I’m…I’m scared,” Kalel begs, and his voice has so much fear in it that my chest shifts on its axis.

My legs slow, and I stop.

“I’m scared of losing you to this place, my little godling. I’m scared I will never see you again, even in death, and I can’t handle that. Please…please, don’t go. Please.” It sounds like he falls to his knees on the thin layer of water beneath our feet.

My breaths are heavy, a pull deep inside me tugs toward him.

The break in my voice is nothing short of wounded. “You hurt me…”

“I know,” Kalel chokes out.

“You killed me.”

“You killed me too.” He can barely speak through his sobs. “My heart is torn out, Alira. Right out of my chest, and there’s nothing that can ever repair it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please. Just let me make sure you get out of this darkness. I cannot stand the thought of you being in here alone for eternity.”

He was always a wordsmith, saying things that brought new life into my soul.

The corners of my lips curve down, and I let my cry permeate the void. I run toward his voice. He must hear me getting closer instead of farther away and stands, calling to me more so we can find one another in this darkness.