Page 38 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

My eyes widen, and I smother my mouth to keep the gasp from alerting them to my hiding spot. Kalel’s breaths are uneven, and his eyes are filled with misery. Even the dim lighting from the moon couldn’t keep his turmoil hidden. I watch with dread building in my stomach.

“I…fuck.” Kalel’s voice drops, and he sounds like he’s going to admit to a terrible crime.

My heart races, and tears are threatening to fall already. It can’t be worse than the flowers.

When Kalel can’t bring himself to say more, Nikolai places his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Just let it out, Kalel. Whatever has been eating away at you has been devouring you from the inside for a while now.”

Kalel swallows and drops his head with shame. “You remember the night of Thornhall as well as I do.” Nikolai nods in confirmation, his brows threading with worry about where this is heading. “That night, in my grief and rage, I called upon Pluto, and I prayed for a curse on the knight who led the demigods into that innocent village.”

What?

There were many things I was expecting him to say, but that wasn’t one of them.

Nikolai’s as confused as I am. “Commander, what are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?”

Kalel’s jaw flexes, and he shakes his head. “It has everything to do with the mess we’re in… It was a time-loop curse.”

Chills erupt over my skin, and a pit drops in my gut. I feel like I can’t breathe. The rain silences the world around me, and all I hear is the pain in his voice as he confesses his sins to Nikolai.

“I killed that knight twenty times over. I took out my revenge until I figured out who the demigod was.” He swallows the guilt in his tone and chokes out, “It was Alira, and I had killed her. Time and time again… The gods are devious. They are cruel. If I had never set the curse upon her, she would’ve been dead after the first battle in Alzhor, and we would’ve taken their kingdom and been done with all of this. Don’t you see? We are only under siege now because the loop reset until she altered their fate. And now…”

He regrets the curse…because of my being here. My chest caves in on itself.

Nikolai’s face is unreadable, but the tension rolls from his shoulders. “Now we have a demigod inside the veil. One that can control the dragons. One that you’ve wronged terribly.” He takes a step away from Kalel, shaking his head and cursing under his breath.

Kalel’s eyes narrow with misery, and he nods. “We cannot let her find out about any of this. That’s why I’m not sure we can let her out. Not yet anyway, but I need you to keep her safe, Nik. I’ll speak with the king, and once we ensure the Alzhorians aren’t a threat, she will be free.”

Nikolai takes a few more steps back, dragging his hand down his jaw. “Kalel, what have you done? How could you do this to her? Alira…if she finds out about the flowers⁠—”

“I know,” Kalel bites out. His hair is wet, and a few strands run down his forehead with the increasing rainfall. “She might be able to bring the veil down.”

I physically collapse backward and barely manage to prop myself back up. My muscles are weak and drained from the pure emotion that rushes through me.

Everything Minerva said is true about the flowers, but she didn’t tell me he’s the one who cursed me… After all the turmoil I went through. The self-loathing and shame. The guilt. The suffering of dying at his hand over and over and over because I thought I had deserved such a cruel fate…and it was him all along.

It was Kalel who hurt me unyieldingly.

I curl into a ball, wrapping my arms around my legs and hugging them close. My pink dress is drenched with rain and tattered from the streets and thorns.

“I’ll go stay with her… Commander?” Nikolai says as he takes a few steps away, back facing Kalel.

My husband looks up, his eyes weary.

“You…really are the monster they say you are. Expect my resignation after this battle. I’d rather live as a mage’s apprentice or in the cities of men than in a kingdom of stolen power. A kingdom run by men like you who have more bodies in their attics than anyone else. I’d rather be free and follow Alira like a dog, even if she never returns my affection, rather than another moment under this reign. Under your profound evil.”

They are both silent for several stretched-out seconds.

“Very well,” Kalel says with a steady tone. “Thank you, Nik.”

Nikolai doesn’t reply to that; he only walks forward and doesn’t look back.

Kalel stays a moment longer, sighing and tilting his chin toward the veil. He stares up and shuts his eyes, letting the rain kiss his cheeks.

Then he looks back toward the street leading to the square, where I’m guessing the king is, and walks ahead. Kalel was firm in his choice of speaking with Achill first. He wants to save both his kingdom and me, but it’s an impossible task.

He’s made his choice.

I’m left alone in the dark alley with a throbbing heart and more rage than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Tears burn down my cheeks, and once I’m sure they’re both far away enough and not coming back, I let out a painful cry that is swept away by the rain.