Page 23 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

I offer him a disheartened smile. “But then we’ll be traitors too. The only other option would be to chase Tessa down and sever her head.”

His eyes flash with horror, but he knows I’m right.

If I weren’t a commander…maybe then it would be different. We could run away together, and I’d take her back to the small cottage I found in the holy lands when we first brought her back. Our lives would be quiet and long, filled with softness and peace. We’d know this world under different circumstances.

Nikolai steadies himself and takes a few steps toward the cave entrance. He stops and looks back at me with a tortured smile. “You could run, you know.”

I grit my teeth and walk past him. “Stay out of my head.”

Alira watches me closely as I sit down beside her and touch her hands. They are a lot warmer now. I blow out a sigh of relief, though I’m not sure how long that will last.

“Where’s Tessa?” she asks, eyes flicking to the entrance, waiting to see the knight walk in.

“She was so worried about the Gates of Mortem that she rode ahead.” The lie tastes sour, and I have to look away to hide the rage I have for Tessa. If she follows through with telling the king, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to forgive her.

“Is it safe to travel by herself in this weather?”

I want to tell her not to worry about Tessa, but I just nod. Nikolai sits across from us and looks like he’s going to cry. He blinks away the glassiness in his eyes and lies on his side facing the cave wall, leaving his back to us.

I clear my throat. “Alira, is everything okay? What did the wisp show you?” I finally ask. There’s no reason why she shouldn’t trust me unless they showed her the war waiting outside the veil or my sins against her, like the curse or the flowers…

Her eyes narrow with dread, and she shakes her head. “I’d rather not talk about it.” Her voice is just above a whisper.

A frown pulls at my lips. “Was it about me? I don’t mean to pry, but you’ve been looking at me as if I’ll bite you.” I offer a slight grin at the joke.

Her eyes widen a fraction, and she cracks a small smile. “You do bite.”

I chuckle and gently set my hand on hers. “Then what could make you look at me like that? Like you’re afraid.” Bold, but I want her to tell me so I can try to course-correct.

Alira’s lips purse, and it’s evident she’s trying to find something to say. “They showed me a future. One where we are a family, with little ones and the kingdom thrives.” Her words are slow and she won’t meet my eyes.

I study her lovely expression before averting my gaze to the flames, trying to picture what she describes. Even if it is a lie, it sounds beautiful. My soul aches and yearns for even a sliver of that life.

“And they showed me another.” Her tone is heavy.

I look up and meet her icy gaze.

“One where the war has not ended. Devicit falls, and everyone we both care about is dead, including us.” She keeps it short and to the point, and yet it paints a perfect image in my head.

The veil falls. The kingdom we’ve built crumbles to the ground.

Blood meets blood.

My muscles stiffen, and I have to swallow the knot in my throat as I force out more lies. “We ended the war with our marriage, Alira.” I hold her wavering gaze. She’s searching desperately for something to cling to. It only makes me feel worse when her features soften and she seems to not doubt me as much.

I need to tell her the truth.

I need to keep her out of King Achill’s dungeon.

Neither of which I know how to do.

Chapter 9

Alira

Kalel buries his fingers into my arms as his teeth sink into my neck. A soft sigh escapes my lips as the warmth from his chest seeps into my back. He holds me tenderly, and it makes my heart ache. He’s been nothing but considerate for me tonight. Even after I chased the wisp. I think Tessa left because she’s pissed at me. She was casting distrustful looks at me the entire way here, and then she left on her own.

The snow falls more heavily than it was a few minutes ago. I hope she’s okay out there alone.