Page 89 of The Two of Us at the End of the World

I don’t know, she said. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but it still makes me feel weird imagining those fingers in that tin. What I do know is that he was a bad man. And perhaps you’re right, maybe the people you saw weren’t Russians, but were the people that the Russian hunted for his own reasons. So maybe you even saved them too.

I don’t know, I said scratching at my bandaged hand which was itching and throbbing now.

Don’t do that, said Cat. It won’t help.

I knew she was right. But her being right didn’t stop me wanting to do something about that itching which I knew was going to stop me sleeping well.

I can’t help it, I said. I mean, I can, but it’s going to take a lot of willpower and I’m pretty tired.

I felt her nodding in the dark. Then she turned to me.

So, are they coming? Cat said. You think they’re coming?

No, I said. No. They’re not coming. They didn’t know we were people. I heard them saying the dogs had spooked a wild pig in the night.

That’s good, she said.

Yeah, I said.

So why do you sound a bit disappointed? she said.

I didn’t say anything in reply. I wasn’t hiding anything from her. I just didn’t know the answer to that question. Cat did.

You liked them, she said.

No, I said quickly. Too quickly.

I shook my head, as if she could see it in the dark, and then I took the long beat of silence she gave me to think properly about it.

Not really, I said. Not liked. Was interested in is more like it. They seemed, I don’t know, Cat… They seemed like us, more than they were like the Russian. I listened to what they were saying and I didn’t understand what they were talking about or who the people were they were talking about, but yes…

Yes? said Cat.

Yes, I liked the way they were with each other, I said. It was like us. They cared for each other, they teased each other and…

Family, she said. You saw a family.

Maybe, I said. Maybe that’s it.

Bad people can have families, she said. Everybody comes from somewhere.

If I hadn’t seen the necklace, if Storm hadn’t shown it to me I might still think they were good, I said. I might have said hello. I might have made a terrible mistake.

Maybe, Cat said again. And maybe I’d have done the same.

You wouldn’t, I said.

Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had, she said.

I looked round at her in surprise but could only see the pale smudge of the side of her face in the darkness.

You don’t mean that, I said.

I don’t know, Mouse, she said. I’m so tired I don’t know much about anything right now.

We should both go hunt the goats, I said. Leave the girls with the babies. Storm won’t let Freya do any harm to them and Freya seems too tired to do anything.

Plan in the morning, she yawned. Our heads will be straighter.