Page 39 of The Two of Us at the End of the World

She gave a fast little Cat-snort, like I was being slow, as usual.

You want to die? she said.

No, I said. Of course not.

Well, she said, tossing her head like she just won the argument. That’s a reason. Just for starters, that’s one big old reason.

Not dying isn’t the same as living, I said.

I refused to look away before she did.

Mouse, she said. We. Don’t. Go. To. The. Sea.

Fine, I said. Don’t go. You stay, once everything settles after the baby comes, maybe I’ll take them.

You? She grunted, surprised. Just like that?

Yes, I said. Just to have a look. I’ll take them and then if there’s nothing there for them, I’ll come home. We’ll come home. All of us. I’ve thought it all out.

And I’ll just stay here on my own? she said.

You’re the one who says it’s so safe, I said, adding a bit of a Cat-snort of my own. You’ll be fine.

The words even tasted bitter as I said them. Cat rolled over, giving me her back. I knew she was waiting for me to change my mind and tell her she’s right, or to just say sorry. I didn’t do either.

You thought it all out, she said after a bit.

I grunted.

So you’ve also figured out why that man was on this road? You’ve got all the answers about where he was heading for, who he is, who else might be waiting for him?

After a long beat I shook my head.

No.

That’s why we stick together, said Cat. Sticking together is as important as bigger ones looking after the little ones. Because if there are others roaming around out there, others like him, then the world just got a lot more dangerous.

She wasn’t wrong about that, but it didn’t make her right about everything else.

You don’t have to look after me any more, Cat, I said. I’m bigger than you now.

She turned, looked up into my eyes and drilled me with a sharp look.

Don’t kid yourself, little Mouse, she said. You’re just taller and wider.

And then she just grinned, and somehow the world was a bit lighter again.

I’m still bigger than you, she said. And I always will be.

I went to sleep that night smiling. We’d sort it out tomorrow, I thought. We’d have plenty of time. She’d come. It’d be an adventure. A fun one.

Chapter 15

Expulsion: How four didn’t become five

Mouse – Year 201 AG

It was a day of thunder and blood and screaming and it was a day of sadness and anger and happiness, and it was a day of miracles and curses and a shocking surprise. It was also a day with a lot of fear and a lot of shouting. It was a day with death always in the background, haunting the shadows in all of our minds, once we knew what was going on. It was the day that the population of our little world increased, but it was also the day when I think each of us in our own different way never felt more alone.