Page 29 of Don’t Open Your Eyes

She started to type a response, then deleted it and typed an x and an o. Suddenly she was bone-tired. She fell into bed and turned off the light. Maybe morning would bring clarity.

—

Annabelle was relieved that she didn’t have any classes today. She would be too distracted to pay attention anyway. Her mother was awake and finishing her breakfast when Annabelle arrived.

“Hi, Mom,” she said, giving her a peck on the cheek and sitting across from her at the small table.

“Hi, darling, no school today?”

Annabelle shook her head. “I don’t have classes on Monday.”

Miriam’s brow wrinkled. “What do you mean? High school is every day.”

“I’m in college, remember?”

“Oh,” Miriam said, but Annabelle could tell she was still confused.

“Listen, Mom, I have something I need your advice on.”

“What is it?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Her mother’s smile transformed her face. “That’s wonderful! Who’s your husband, again?”

“I’m not married, Mom. It was an accident, and I don’t know what to do.”

Miriam leaned back in her chair and studied her for a long moment. “You take your vitamins and wait for the baby to grow. A baby is a blessing.” She stopped and looked up at the ceiling. “I had a baby. I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. Best thing that ever happened to me.” She turned her attention back to Annabelle. “What’s your name again, honey?”

“It’s Annabelle, Mom. I was your baby.”

Miriam grew quiet. Annabelle could tell she had gone to that other place again, somewhere unreachable by those around her, but somewhere good, Annabelle hoped. Maybe Miriam was back in time at some happier place. At least that’s what she told herself. She let the subject drop and spent the next hour following Miriam’s lead in conversation until her mother was tired again and ready to rest. It was almost time for Annabelle to meet James, so she kissed her mother and slipped from the room.

On the drive to the hospital, she debated the wisdom of telling James about the baby before she told Randy. What if James told him that she’d done so? Randy would be so hurt. But she was terrified of what Randy might say. She hoped that James would at least give her enough insight to prepare herself.

When she reached the cafeteria, he was already there, seated at a table with two cups of coffee waiting. He stood as she approached and kissed her cheek.

“Thanks so much for taking the time to see me,” she said.

“Of course. Your message had me worried. Is everything okay?” The kindness in his eyes broke her, and she burst into tears.

“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” He slid his chair next to hers and put an arm around her.

It took her a moment to compose herself enough to speak. “I’m pregnant.”

James moved his chair back to its original position. “Oh, wow. Does Randy know?”

“Not yet. I just found out last night. I wanted to talk to you first. You know him so well. How do you think he’s going to handle this?”

“Um, I—I don’t know. How are you handling it?”

“I’m freaking out, naturally. This is the worst timing. How am I supposed to get a job if I’m showing? My head is spinning.”

“Well, you have options.”

“I know I do. But I’m not ready to think about those yet. I need it to sink in a little more. The timing sucks, but I’m sure there are a lot of people who thought the timing sucked, and they can’t imagine their lives without their child. It seems like the worst thing now, but who knows? Maybe it’s okay. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s terrible.” She put her head in her hands.

“It’s okay. You have time. Nothing has to be decided right now. But Randy’s a good guy. I’m sure he’ll support you in whatever you want to do. And I’m here for you, too.”