Page 125 of Only Lovers in the Building

Lily turned to Ben’s voice and buried her nose in his throat. She breathed him in until her heart rate steadied.

He stroked her back. “You were talking in your sleep. Were you having a bad dream?”

“Yes.”

He gathered her close and whispered. “It’s okay. You’re here with me.”

For how long?

The summer was nearing its end. She would have to start planning her return trip soon. Though it killed her, she would not raise this question with Ben. In so many ways, she’d inserted herself in his life. If he wanted her to stay, he would have to ask.

“Hungry?” he asked. “I’ll make us breakfast.”

She nodded and reluctantly let him go. Then for the first time in weeks, she sat up and reached for her phone instead of her journal. Old habits were creeping back. She tried focusing on the day ahead. Ben was making coffee in the buff. That was promising.

Whenever they spent the night at her place, he brought over his coffeepot and made sure she was fully stocked on his favorite brand of espresso. Slowly, her studio was taking on the qualities of his place. Books were stacked everywhere. Her kitchen drawers were stuffed with individually wrapped plastic utensils and packets of sugar, ketchup, and soy sauce. He’d even left a leatherbound notebook at her bedside to jot down his thoughts late at night. If this wasn’t the ideal setup, what was? Possibly a one-bedroom apartment to hold all their stuff. A kitchen with more natural light and a better view from the window. Cookware and proper utensils for when they eventually eased up on food delivery. There would be room for a large desk or two desks side by side, one with his laptop, the other with her high-resolution monitor. A custom-designed bookcase to hold her books and his impressive collection. Plants, plants, and more plants. Maybe they’d adopt a pet, a little dog to take for long walks on the beach.

All these things were simple enough. Lily wasn’t asking for the world on a platter, or the moon or stars that might fall out of reach. She wanted what they had with a stamp of permanence. She wanted the aroma of his coffee to fill her home. For that, she would give up her bodega order in a second. Simply, she wanted a life that glowed with his love. Walking away from this was the nightmare she could not wake up from.

Her phone buzzed with a FaceTime request from her brother. Lily did not feel the urge to run across the hall as she did whenever the people from the real world intruded in this new one she and Ben had created. For one thing, there was no place to run to: they were already in her apartment. Besides, it was only Patrick.

“Heads up!” she called out to Ben. “I’m hopping on a video call with my brother.”

“Should I throw on clothes?” he asked.

“Nope! I like you just the way you are. Just stay out of frame.”

Ben winked and slipped on headphones. Each morning, he listened to a literary podcast hosted by the New York Times. Knowing this about him made her love him even more.

She adjusted her pajama top and accepted the call. “Hello, Dr. P!”

Patrick favored their father. He was handsome in a nerdy way and practically lived in a white coat and tie. It was odd to see him dressed casually in a faded T-shirt, seemingly lounging at home, even on a Saturday morning.

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “You look great. That Miami glow up is unreal.”

“Four out of five doctors recommend it.”

“Good to know. I may try that someday . . . Hold on just a sec. I’ll get our parents on the call.”

“Why would you do that?” she cried.

He gave her a quizzical look. “Didn’t you get my text?”

“What text?”

“Last night. I sent you a heads-up.”

“Heads-up for what?” she asked.

If this was an intervention, there was no need. Her Miami sojourn was ending soon.

“Lily, take a breath,” Patrick said. “You’re freaking out for no good reason. This is not about you. It’s just a family call.”

Without any further warning, he added their parents. There they were, sharing a square box on the lower corner of her phone’s screen. Her father’s widow’s peak more obvious than ever. Her mother’s face arranged in a scowl.

“There she is!” her mother exclaimed. “I thought my daughter was dead or kidnapped. But no, she’s alive and well in Miami. She knows how to use a phone, too. She just chooses not to. Now that I’ve seen your face, and I know that you’re well, I will not say another word.”

Lily darted a glance Patrick’s way. Tell me again how this isn’t about me!