Page 37 of The Life and (Medieval) Times of Kit Sweetly

MOM’S NOT EVEN HOME TO YELL AT ME BECAUSE SHE’S on another double shift, and I end up sleeping the rest of Sunday away in my dark house. At some point, Chris brought me a Gatorade, which I took after a long soliloquy about how he was the best brother ever. I expected an argument from Mom when she got home from work, but she just planted a sleepy kiss on my forehead and un-grounded me, saying she was too tired to keep up my punishment or even argue about it any longer. I didn’t have enough brain power to confront her about the mortgage, and all of us went to bed exhausted and ready for the new week to be better.

By Monday morning—the first day of spring break—I’m among the living again and super excited about the first training session with the other Knight-hopefuls. Our electricity is also on, so I take a scalding-hot shower and microwave water for instant oatmeal. Thank you, gods of modern technology.

“Ready to go?” Chris asks around noon. He’s on spring break too this week, though he was up early to drive a few Uber pickups before we start training.

I close my own laptop and smile. I’ve been checking all the viral strains of the Girl Knight campaign, and so far it’s going great. There are more than four hundred thousand views for the video, and it’s been shared almost as many times on social media. No major news outlets have picked it up yet, and I’ve still not heard anything from the Castle, but hopefully that will change as the workweek gets underway.

“I’m ready,” I say, grabbing my purse and Jett’s backpack. “I just need to get some food.”

Opening the fridge, I peer inside. Mom must’ve gone grocery shopping, because there’s milk, cheese, some fruit, and pasta in there. The Cooler of Doom is still under the table though. I shoot it a dirty look.

“Forget it,” says Chris. “I picked this up for you on the way.”

He tosses a sub sandwich toward me. I catch it using my Knight-like reflexes. “Turkey and Muenster, good job,” I say, reading the wrapping.

“Just looking out for you,” he says, sitting down at the kitchen table across from me. He unwraps his own sandwich. “I figured we should start day one of training with some food in our bellies.”

As we eat, he goes over his plans for the day and the routines we’re going to learn. It’s a lot, but we might just be able to pull this off.

Penny, Alex, Mags, and Lizzy are at Layla’s by 2:00 p.m. Jett’s there too with the fancy video camera he got for his last birthday. I’m not sure if I should give them a pep talk or what, but Layla pokes me hard in the back as we all stand in her barn, each of us gripping one of the practice swords Chris has smuggled out of the Castle for us.

“Say something,” she hisses. “You’re the fearless leader here. Tell them the plan.”

Okay. Pep talk it is.

“Hi, everyone!” I call out over the sounds of their conversations. I step up onto a rectangular bale of hay. “Thanks for coming out today.”

Alex whistles and Penny calls out, “Anytime, Kit!”

A horse whinnies in a nearby paddock and Layla runs her hand along its face, soothing it.

I grin, feeling more confident. “I know we have a lot of work to do, but I’m certain we can be ready. Today’s Monday, the second. We’re planning on taking over the tournament on Friday, April thirteenth, when the Corporate folks are in town. We’ll try to get together here to train a bit every day. If you can make it, great. If not, practice on your own.”

Lizzy raises her hand. “Are we going to be able to use the other Knights’ gear?”

I give Chris a look. We’re still figuring out this piece of things.

“We’ll have it taken care of by then,” he says smoothly. “Kit and Layla are working on bringing attention to this cause. All you need to do is work hard and be ready by the thirteenth.”

Mags salutes Chris. “Understood. And will do. Can we get started though? I’ve got to be back home by three thirty.”

And thus begins the day in my life that is basically one big Knights’ training montage. Layla even plays Queen’s Greatest Hits through the stable’s speakers, so we can joust just like the dudes in A Knight’s Tale. Chris spends the first hour teaching everyone except Layla and me how to stay on a horse. Layla’s long-suffering horses are beyond patient, and eventually Penny, Lizzy, Alex, and Mags have the basics down and are no longer gripping the reins with expressions of terror plastered on their faces. After that, we work on swinging swords and fake falling, and then Chris leads us through round after round of trying to catch rings with lances and other knightly games. It’s all stuff I’ve practiced with Chris before, but it’s so much more fun with a big group of friends.

Jett films it all, adding in commentary here and there along with heaps of laughs and cheers.

“Bravo!” Chris calls out from the sidelines encouragingly, even as Alex falls off their horse (again) and Mags misses all the rings she’s trying to capture. We’ve got a long way to go.

After a few hours, we’re bruised, battered, and a tiny bit better at jousting and fake fighting. We’ve seen the show so many times that memorizing the moves is relatively easy. But applying them in the arena? I’m not so sure about that.

Once everyone leaves—with a promise to be back here tomorrow at the same time—Layla and I walk up to the house. It’s blissfully cool inside, and I get us two bottles of fancy water out of the fridge.

“So, you know how you said you didn’t want me to give you any money?” Layla sits down at the kitchen table and opens her laptop.

“I still don’t want that.” I plop down next to her. “I can figure out all that money stuff alone.”

“Sure you can,” says Layla. “Just like you know CPR?”

“Shut up.”