Page 118 of Ship Happens

“So your solution to that was to try and manipulate Jacob and me into getting back together?” Owen asks her directly.

“I . . . I guess I thought the two of you were fixable.”

Owen can’t help but laugh. “You know how fucked that sounds, right?”

Kaitlyn nods vigorously. “I do, and I knew it then too, when I first had the idea. But I just . . . I hated how the two of you gave up on each other.”

“But it’s not your responsibility to make decisions about our relationship, Kaitlyn.” Owen takes a deep drag off the joint, flicking ash onto the steps, watching the wind blow it away.

“I know.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“I . . .” She hangs her head in shame. “I thought that I was helping.”

“Why do I need taking care of?” Owen asks her; the mask is starting to slip, the hurt in his voice more obvious. “Why can’t you trust me to just live my life?”

Kaitlyn pauses, unsure of what to say. Because what excuse is there? She overstepped, and she knows that she did. Maybe it’s wrong, to prolong this torture when he does want to forgive her. But Owen also wants to understand why she thought his life needed fixing. Then again, who can really blame her?

“I know that I’m a mess, Kaitlyn. And this week with Jacob, having conversations we should’ve had a year ago . . . It showed me a lot.” Owen looks up at her, smiling gently. “And I appreciate that you cared enough to try.”

Confusion washes over Kaitlyn’s face. “You do?”

“I do.” Owen nods. “And I don’t. I don’t know, I think I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about all of this. About you, about Jacob. I’m angry, but I . . .” He doesn’t even really know.

Kaitlyn steps closer, falling to sit next to Owen when the pre-roll is done. “Well, I’ve done a lot of talking,” she says. “Why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling?”

“Hurt,” Owen says to her after considering his words. “Bolder, a little bit braver.”

“Really?” Kaitlyn asks, obviously confused.

“You asked how I’m feeling,” Owen says. “That’s how I’m feeling. No matter how disastrous this vacation started, and ended . . . I’m glad that it happened.” There’s a sense of pride that settles in his chest, and for the first time in a long time, Owen’s feeling hopeful. He thinks about telling her about the proposal, the promise, the ring tucked into the stained pages of the paperback that now sits on Owen’s nightstand. “Jacob and I had a lot of conversations about what this is going to look like, what we want from each other, what we want for ourselves.”

“Which is?”

“For the other person to be happy,” he tells her. “And right now . . . that means letting each other go.”

“But you could—”

“We could,” he interrupts. “But we don’t want to. I’m not leaving my home, my friends, my security. And Jacob doesn’t want to leave his project, his team.”

“So . . . just like that, you’re done with each other?”

Owen replies like it’s just that easy. “We’re still going to talk; we’re going to keep in touch. We’re going to be a part of each other’s lives again. We talked about going to see each other. I think we realized that we’re no good at being apart, so we decided to be something different.”

Friends. Lovers. Boyfriends. Do they have to put a label on it right now? They’re in love. And that’s what matters.

“So . . .” Kaitlyn leans in, nudging Owen. “You’re not mad at me?”

Owen glares, and she holds her hands up defensively.

“Okay, okay . . .” Her expression still shifts into a smile as she looks at her best friend. “I’m sorry, again. But I’m glad that the two of you have each other.”

“I am too,” Owen tells her. “And who knows what’ll happen in a few years. I think we’re both willing to wait and see.”

“I can’t believe you of all people are saying that.”

He shrugs, leaning into Kaitlyn, their shoulders pressed together. “What can I say? I’m trying something new.”