Page 93 of Okay, Cupid

“Because they’re embarrassing,” she says bluntly. “But they happened. Because … well … that’s what happens. You fail at shit, you fail at life. It’s one of the things we have in common with humans.” Leah puts her hand on my knee. “I know that things feel really big right now, and that you have this need to prove yourself. But if something goes wrong, if tonight is a bust or even if it goes well and you fumble at the dance, you know what’ll happen?”

“I … no, I don’t.”

“You’ll come home, go to sleep, wake up the next morning, and you’ll try again. And yeah, you won’t feel great; you might even cry like I did the first few times. But it’s just what happens. You fail, and you try again.”

“That feels easier said than done.”

“Oh, make no mistake, it is, but that’s why I’m here. And Cal too. And Richard isn’t going to care if you mess up.”

“He won’t?”

“No, because he’s failed too. And so has Cal, and literally every other Cupid who’s ever been in your position.”

“Then why did you think I wasn’t ready?” I ask her.

“Because when you came home that afternoon, when you told me what happened, I suddenly pictured this entire future where I didn’t get to be your big sister anymore. And it terrified me.”

“Leah …”

“I love you, kiddo, a lot. And the thought of losing you … it’s scary.”

I can’t keep myself from leaping at her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and pulling myself close to her.

“I’m sorry that I caused that.”

It takes her a moment to register what’s happening, but she wraps her arms around me, her face in my neck. “It’s okay, Jude. It’s okay.”

To think I was willing to let a boy ruin this for me, to take this life away from me, to take Leah and Cal and Richard and everyone else away.

When I pull away from Leah, I realize that my eyes have watered enough to ruin my mascara.

“Ah, shit.” I wipe my eyes, my finger coming back black and brown from my eye shadow.

“Go,” Leah urges me. “Go fix it before that boy gets here.”

I’m on the floor in front of my mirror bed when Huy arrives, trying my best to patchwork together my previous look while music plays from the Walkman. I hold my breath as I redo my eyeliner, trying to re-create it as perfectly as it was before.

I hear the doorbell, Leah rushing to get it, footsteps coming back up the stairs, and then a knock on my open door.

“I didn’t want to ruin whatever moment you’re having here,” Leah says, hovering in my doorway. “But Huy’s here.”

“Oh, okay.” I stop the music, grabbing my jacket off the end of my bed. I’m prepared to go out into the hallway, grab my shoes, and go out to Huy’s truck. But when I step out of my room, I nearly collide with Huy.

“Oh.” I hear his all-too-familiar laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“Huy.” I whisper his name softly. “Why did you come inside?”

“It was freezing out there!” Leah says before heading back downstairs.

Huy quickly adds, “Don’t worry, the tent is heated. You’ll be safe.”

“Cool, so, uh …” I readjust my jacket. “Ready to go?”

“Well, hold on,” he tells me. “I’m still getting the feeling back in my fingers. Plus, you’ve seen my room …”

“You don’t want to see mine.” I step in front of him. “It’s a mess.”

“Oh, come on. Just a peek? It’s only fair.”