Page 90 of Okay, Cupid

“You sure?”

I nod.

“Okay, just … you know. You’re my friend, Jude. If you want to talk about something, I’m willing to listen.”

I wish I could tell him the truth; I wish the words I’m a Cupid could come out of my mouth so easily. It would explain so much, and then maybe—maybe—I could try to save myself. But why would he believe me? Or any of it?

Besides, I’m already in enough trouble.

Who knows what would happen if it was found out that I told him the truth.

“Thanks,” I say. “But really, I’m good.”

Huy moves back toward the refrigerator, coming back with two bright Thai iced teas with the plastic lids tight across the top. When he hands me one, he casually asks, “So, are you going to the dance next week?”

“Yeah, I think so,” I tell him. “You?”

“Maybe. No one’s asked me.”

“You could ask someone.”

“Indeed, I could.” He props his good arm behind his head and leans against the counter before he realizes how uncomfortable the cast makes that angle. “Who are you going with?”

“No one,” I say, sipping the sugary-sweet tea.

“Really? That’s surprising.”

“Why?”

“Because …” He trails off. “I don’t really know why I said that.”

I look at him, confused. “Who would I go with?”

“I don’t know. You could go with Cal, right?”

“Oh, Jesus, no!” Okay, it comes out with a little too much force behind it. “Cal’s just … he’s my best friend.”

“Ohhh.” Huy draws the word out. “Okay then.”

“Did you really think that we were dating this whole time?”

“I mean this in the best way possible, Jude. Are you sure that you’re not dating him?”

“Uh … yeah. I think I’d know if I were dating Cal. Besides, I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

“Really?” Huy asks as I start to play with the cuffed leg of my jeans.

“Yeah. Is that surprising?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I’m still getting over the Cal thing.” Huy takes a soft breath, letting it out through his nose. “So, you’ve never been in love before?”

“I never said that.” I don’t know why I can answer that question honestly. I don’t think about it, it just slips free. “I’ve been in love before. Definitely. Have you?”

Huy hesitates, and for a moment, I’m worried I’ve offended him. But I can’t give up this chance to learn something. His honest answer could be everything for me.

“I guess what I had with Alice—you know, before everything—at least, maybe that was love? It’s been such a long time, and we were literally like thirteen. And I don’t think any thirteen-year-old actually knows what romantic love feels like.”

“Probably a safe thing to assume,” I say, forcing the words out. I need to probe a little harder. “Even now, though? You don’t think you might have feelings for someone?”