Page 69 of Okay, Cupid

“Good, yeah … we talked. I didn’t want to wake up Dad, so we ended up walking down to Baker Beach. It was freezing.”

My ears perk up. “Wait … the beach?”

“Yeah, Huy wanted to talk some more, this time without everyone around. No offense.”

“None taken,” I say plainly.

“We walked around for all of ten minutes before the wind picked up and he drove us to NaYa. And we just caught up. It was nice.”

They must’ve talked after he dropped me off. Which is totally normal, it’s a totally normal thing to have done. It’s great, in fact. He’s making moves without me having to intervene.

This is good.

“You think the two of you are good now?” Neve asks.

Alice smiles in that slow way, like she’s remembering something that he might’ve said. Like she’s a girl in love with a boy.

“I don’t know. I mean, no. Not straight away. But it’s better.”

“Good.” Neve leans in, resting her head on Alice’s shoulder. “I’m glad.”

“Yeah … me too.”

I hate how her kind words make me feel so nasty on the inside. I should be happy, ecstatic. Completely independent of me, the two of them spent time together, started to get to know each other all over again. All while I lay in bed covering myself in a jacket and crying myself to sleep like the pathetic mess I am.

I should be so happy for them.

But I can’t force the feelings that aren’t there.

As the hour stretches on, more people show up to play. The bleachers remain mostly barren, a few bystanders showing up to support their friends, and a couple who spend the entire first game making out on the top row because this is the prime space to do that. Huy shuffles the ball toward his teammate Ricky, who kicks it high into the air, speeding toward the goal for the final point they need to play to their game of twenty. Huy and his boys throw their arms into the air and cheer around one another, racing toward the sidelines with smiles on their faces, bodies covered in sweat and dirt and grass stains.

Neve and Alice both stand to walk toward the fence that separates us, so I follow them.

“You made it!” Huy says, chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath.

“Of course,” I say.

“You guys played good,” Alice adds.

“Yeah, but their defender is a beast.” Huy lifts up his shirt, doing the thing that boys do the best. And I’m too gay to not stare at the V shape that disappears below the waistline of his shorts, eyes following that trail of sparse hair. I catch Alice staring too.

Or maybe she catches me.

“Alice, can you refill my water bottle?” Huy asks, and she nods, so he tosses it over the fence and Alice and Neve race off to find the nearest water fountain. I almost join them. I’m not in the mood to be trapped with Huy again. Even with a barrier between us, things feel too close.

Maybe once all of this is done, I can ask Leah or Richard to erase my memories of him.

“Cutie.” Huy’s voice jars me.

“I … what?” Cutie? Why would he say something like that?

“Cutie?” Huy points through the fence, over my shoulder, toward Neve’s lunch box. “Can you hand me that cutie? Or is Neve gonna eat it?”

The oranges are settled on the blanket. The blue label reads CUTIES clear and bright on the side.

Jesus, I need an ice bath. Or maybe a lobotomy.

“You good?” he asks me.