Page 67 of Okay, Cupid

I don’t say anything, because I’m not even sure what I could possibly say to excuse what he saw.

“It was nothing,” I tell him.

“Okay.”

And he leaves it at that. No prodding or pushing; he just lets it go.

Maybe talking about it would help, but I can’t talk about what’s going on with him.

“Relationships are weird,” I tell him.

“You’re telling me.”

The light turns from red to green.

“Have you ever had feelings for someone you shouldn’t have?” I ask him. It’s a bold question, one that I absolutely should not ask him. But everything I’ve done lately feels like it’s been done against my better judgment.

Huy lets out an awkward laugh, and despite the light change, he doesn’t press the gas. There’s no one behind us anyway.

“Well … I don’t know, that all depends.”

“On?”

“On whether the person I like thinks that we shouldn’t be together.”

So, he does still have feelings for her. I mean, I knew that he did. I wouldn’t have been assigned to him if he didn’t, but this is confirmation right from the source.

“What do you think?” I watch as the light turns red.

Huy smiles awkwardly, and there’s more than a hint of sadness to the look that he gives me.

“I think that I’m grateful to have this person in my life, and I don’t want to mess it up by getting feelings involved.”

“You’re scared that’ll happen?” The light goes green again.

“Happened once before, and I lost my best friend because of it.”

“But you and Alice talked it out?” I don’t want to switch the subject so quickly, but it happens.

“Yeah, I mean … we talked it out, but it’ll be a while before we’re back to where we were. We might never really be. She lost a lot of trust in me. I can try to earn it back, but I have to respect her feelings if I can’t.”

“That’s admirable.” The light turns yellow. We haven’t moved.

“I wish it felt that way.”

“I think you should give it a chance.”

“What?” Red.

“The crush.” My stomach twists around and around, my ribs ready to split. “I think it’s worth the risk.”

“Seriously?”

I nod. “You never know how someone really feels. If the feelings are strong enough, then it might be worth the risk.”

“And if they reject me?”

I shrug. “Then you have a final answer. Isn’t that better than just stewing in mystery?”