Page 117 of Okay, Cupid

She sighs, leaning against the wall. “He asked me if you fell in love with the boy.”

“That was it?”

She nods.

“What was your answer?”

“I didn’t have one for him. What was I supposed to say, Jude? Yes? That you fell in love with another human?” Her voice goes higher. I’ve heard Leah be annoyed with me, frustrated. But never angry. Never at me. But there’s so much behind her eyes right now. So much that I don’t like.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I thought I was doing the right thing. By telling you.”

Leah breathes out deeply. “You’re right. You did do the right thing by telling me.”

“I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, Leah. I couldn’t help it. Believe me, I tried.” I cover my face with my hands. “I tried, and I tried, and I told myself that I’m not supposed to be in love with him, but I couldn’t help it.”

I hear her footsteps, feel her sink into the couch next to me, her arms stretching to pull me toward her. I feel her presence so firmly and yet all I want to do is disappear.

“I know, Jude. I know that you tried. I believe that.” And I believe what she says. “But this is the duty of a Cupid. You overstepped a line, and now, as your guardian, I have to do what I can to protect you.”

“I’m sorry,” I say to her.

“For what?”

“Ruining your life.” I should’ve known better. That every decision that ever led me to this moment would affect her just as badly as it affected me. She has a life here too, she has friends, she’s lived here longer than I have. She has a history in this city that’s being completely undone. I’m thrusting us both into new waters.

All for a stupid boy.

“Oh, Jude.” She pulls me closer. “You didn’t ruin my life, kiddo.”

“Do you promise?” I sound so pathetic, but I need this right now.

“Of course. My life is so much better with you in it.” She kisses my forehead. It’s a foreign thing but comforting all at the same time. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I love you, Leah.”

“I love you too.”

• • •

Later that night, when I’m tucked into bed, I grab my phone, stretching the ten-foot charger for all it’s worth.

I find Huy’s name in my texts, reading over the very last messages we sent to each other.

ME: are you on the way???

HUY: I’m coming!

HUY: let me rephrase that

HUY: I’m almost at your place

ME: oh my god

HUY:

Whoever coined the phrase butterflies in my stomach nailed it perfectly. It’s this light feeling, and yet so heavy at the same time. I hate that I’ve let this boy take hold of me, and yet I don’t think that I’d replay this any other way.

My fingers hover over my keyboard, and I type a message quickly.