Page 136 of I Wish You All the Best

“I’m aware,” I say. “So why aren’t you at prom?” He even looks like he was getting dressed for it but stopped halfway, with his black slacks, and white dress shirt that’s only about halfway buttoned up. I try not to think about that last point too much.

“Because you aren’t there.”

“I don’t really …”

“I tried to ask you to prom, and you turned me down, so I thought this might be a bit more up your alley.”

“Oh, I thought …” Am I really that clueless? “I didn’t know you were asking me asking me.”

“It’s okay. I like this better.”

“So, you wanted to ask me to prom?”

“Yeah, for a few weeks now, I thought it might be the perfect time.”

“For what?”

“Maybe you should sit down.” He rubs at the back of his neck.

“Is Nathan Allan speechless?” I tease. “This has to be a moment for the record books.”

“You know how, when you came out to me, you said you needed me to not be me?” And the way he looks at me, it wrecks my heart.

“Oh, okay.” I take the place beside him. “I’m sorry. Is something wrong?”

“I wish I’d written this down.” He fakes a laugh; it’s so unlike him that I really don’t want to ever hear it again. “Do you remember that day in the park? When I took you to see the movie?”

How could I ever forget it? “Yeah.”

“And you asked me if I had a secret. A secret that there was no reason to be ashamed of, but you still felt like you had to hide it?”

I nod.

“What was yours?”

I swallow hard. “That I’m nonbinary.”

“Right.” He shakes his head quickly. “That’s what I figured. I mean, not at the time. But you know, now I can see that. So that’s why I wanted to tell you mine.”

He’s so flustered, and it’s so cute. “You know you don’t have to.”

“I know.” He looks at me, his lips spreading. “I want to.” Nathan takes my hand, running his thumb over the skin. “I’ve been really scared to tell you this, but since you trusted me, I’m going to trust you. Okay?”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again, and he breathes in and out. “For a while, I’ve sort of been thinking about the way I feel about you.” Then he starts shaking his head. “God, I really should’ve written this all down.”

“It’s all right. Take your time.” I can feel his pulse getting faster.

“I knew I should’ve just copied Mr. Darcy’s speech.” Nathan breathes. “I, um … I’ve been trying to find out a way to tell you how I feel. For months now, really.”

Months?

“And I know I picked the greatest time, since I’m going to be moving across the country in a few weeks, but I figured that if we could have three months, it’d be better than nothing, right?”

“Nathan, I—”

“I really like you, Ben. I really, really, really like you,” he finally says, and I can almost see his shoulders relax. “I’d use the other L-word, but if I’m being a hundred percent honest, it scares the absolute shit out of me.” He takes a deep breath. “And I’ve spent months trying to figure out how I could tell you without scaring you away, or making you hate me, but yeah.”