Page 60 of Love Out Loud

Lennon brings my hand to his lips and kisses it as he meets my gaze. It’s a motion he’s made a million times over the years, only it’s different now. Softer. Surer. Hungrier. “Whatever you want to call me, I’m yours. I told you that. And if you want to shout it from the rooftops, I’ll shout with you. If you want me to be your dirty little secret for a while, I’m on board with that, too.” He winks.

I roll my eyes, but I’m grateful for his humor. It makes me much less worried. Maybe we don’t need to take this too seriously. Maybe we can just have fun and enjoy each other without planning every single move.

“Is this about Devin?” he asks gently. Of course he sees right through to the heart of the issue. He’s known me too long for me to give him half-truths and get away with it.

“Among other things,” I admit.

“How about this?” He kisses my hand again, then brushes his lips softly against mine. “You’re done recording in, what, two weeks?”

“And then pickups.”

“Okay, three, give or take. Let’s give it until then. Enjoy it. See what happens without putting it in a pressure cooker right away, and let you focus on getting this recording done.”

I look upward and nod. “I do like to focus.”

“You joke, but you forget I’ve known you for a long time.” He ticks up a sandy eyebrow and pins me with a look. “So I am well aware of your tunnel vision at the end of projects like this.”

I grumble because he’s not wrong. “Fine.”

“You get to focus. We get to do more of what we’ve been doing all weekend.” His hazel eyes dip to my mouth as he drags the thumb of his free hand over my bottom lip again, as if he could live between the pillows of my lips and be happy there.

A breathy laugh escapes around his thumb, and his eyes make their way to mine again. “There’s no script, Songbird,” he says softly. “We get to make it up, however we’re comfortable.”

Improv. I can do improv. “Okay,” I say, much more balanced now than I was a few minutes ago. Lennon always could steady me, even as he needed me to do the same for him. Our friendship has always been a beautiful give-and-take. And that familiar flush creeps up my cheeks when I think of the new kind of give-and-take we’ve been engaging in all weekend.

My phone rings loudly from my purse, and I start. I fumble through the bag and pull it out to see Devin’s name at the top of the screen. Lennon peers over the minimal space between us and sees it, then kisses my forehead quickly before I jump out of the Jeep.

“See you in a few hours,” he says.

I wave as I answer the phone before it can go to voicemail. “Hi, kiddo!” Even I cringe at how overly excited I sound. I’ve was so engrossed in Lennon in the bubble of his bed that bursting so unexpectedly out of it makes it necessary to recalibrate how I interact with people in the outside world.

Devin giggles, and the sound fills me up. “Hi, Mom. I just wanted to call to let you know I landed in New York. Dad’s picking me up soon.”

“Oh, good.” I should have remembered she was landing today, but I lost track of time somewhere between the sixth and seventh time Lennon’s lips met mine. Mom-guilt gnaws at me, even though I know it makes no difference to her whether or not I remember her schedule to the minute. “How was the flight?”

“Fine.” She sighs, and I can hear how tired she is. “I think I might sleep for days.”

Laughing, I start to make my way toward the door of the studio. I can make out Noah through the window, and it looks like he sees me. I hold up a finger, and he nods. “I know the feeling.”

“How’s LA?” she asks. “Is the recording going well?”

“It’s great. I’m having a lot of fun.”

“Good.” She emphasizes the word hard. “You deserve it.”

I rub at the center of my chest as my heart swells almost painfully. Just hearing her voice is a stark reminder of how much I already miss her. “Thanks, honey,” I manage to choke out around the sudden swell of emotion.

“How’s Lennon? Is he treating you well? Showing you a good time?”

I bark out a laugh at the double entendre she wasn’t even aware of. “He’s been a perfect gentleman.” It’s not entirely a lie, even though it feels strange keeping this huge thing from her. Lennon was right, though. We can make our own rules, and we’ll tell Devin when we’re ready.

“Awesome. Oh, I see Dad’s car. I’ll call you later?”

“Sure. Have fun. Send everyone my love.”

We say our goodbyes. I take an extra minute to collect myself before entering the studio. Noah is there, along with his intern. They’re both wearing headphones, and Silas isn’t anywhere to be seen. When the door shuts behind me, Noah nods once and removes his headphones.

“Hey,” I say. “Sorry I’m late. Lennon and I had to work some stuff out, and then my kid called…”