Page 63 of Son of Shadows

Back away.

Not to mention it caused a deep sense of restlessness inside him. While he’d originally thought the source of that came from being nervous in his father’s realm, he was now realizing it was all the yōkai around him who made him wary. They gave him a deep sense that he didn’t belong here.

He felt like an outsider.

The yōkai were their own people, with their own culture and their own ways of doing things. No matter how similar it might seem to the human world, it wasn’t.

Unlike them, he hadn’t grown up here. And he wasn’t his father. While he had some of those powers, he couldn’t command them very well. No one would stop chasing him long enough for him to practice.

Heck, he’d even lost his own shadow. How can I be what both worlds need me to be?

He wasn’t a demon overlord, or even a shadow master. He was simply Ryuichi.

Mahōtsukai Ryuichi was something he created to bolster confidence. A shadow as much as Ryuichi-kage.

He feared that, in the end, he’d never have that degree of command with his powers. Or be the master of shadows and portals, like his parents.

If the yōkai hadn’t invaded the human realm, seeking him and burning his old school down, Ryuichi would have been satisfied with leaving well enough alone. He would have never come here.

Or would he?

In all honesty, it’d been like this back home in the human realm too. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never felt like he belonged anywhere. That he had any family or even real friends. He couldn’t shake the feeling in the back of his mind that he was causing more problems.

Back at his school, that feeling had been right. Hattori Hanzō had adopted him, treated him far kinder than anyone else ever had, and yet all Ryuichi had made for him was an endless series of headaches. Then he had brought shame and destruction on the Hattori clan.

Banishment was his punishment. A punishment Ryuichi felt he rightly deserved. Because he screwed up everything.

When had anything ever gone right for him?

What did a kid like him know about duty or honor? How could he ever defeat Orochi? Or even hold back the World Eater?

Ryuichi laughed at the very idea. What right did he have to intervene in the affairs of yōkai and gods?

Masaru appeared out of a cloud of smoke and affectionately squeezed Ryuichi’s shoulder. “You seem ill at ease. What’s on your mind, botchan?”

“Nothing.”

The expression in those white eyes said that Masaru didn’t believe him for one second. “A distracted warrior is a dead one, my friend.”

Ryuichi nudged him. “You’ve always said we weren’t friends. Just allies of convenience.”

There was that all-too familiar smirk. “Tomorrow we might be enemies. Tomorrow we might be friends. When you see the beautiful winter snow, do you cry knowing it’ll one day melt?”

He had a point.

Masaru sat down beside Ryuichi. “Allies of convenience today or friends for a lifetime. It doesn’t matter. The future is always unpredictable, but today is beautiful. Enjoy the moment—for every second is unique, and it’ll never be here again. Life is fleeting, and every heartbeat spent worrying is a second you’ll never get back.”

Wow. Masaru was a philosopher. Who knew?

“Thanks. But I have to be honest—this new side of you makes me even more nervous.”

Masaru laughed. “Embrace the chaos, Ryuichi. Swim with the stream of destiny. No one knows their fate, but everyone should enjoy their path. We could have perished in battle or at the school. We didn’t. We could have died when Hayasaka’s castle was attacked. Yet here we are.”

He jutted his chin toward the helm, where Satoru sat, his eyes still trained on the water. “Now we’re on a ship with questionable company, sailing off to see your father. Who knows what we’ll find? Maybe he’ll welcome us and be grateful we returned you. Or perhaps he’ll be a foe who tries to kill us again. We won’t know his mind or heart until it happens. A good warrior prepares for the obvious, but a great warrior prepares for any and all options.” Masaru paused and patted Ryuichi on the back. “And he stays focused on the current battle he’s fighting and doesn’t worry about the ones to come. You’ll never win today if you’re too focused on what might happen.”

“So you’re telling me not to worry?”

“No. I’m telling you to worry about what you can change and what you’re doing. Don’t worry about the future. One way or another, it’ll come. And with any luck, it won’t try to kill you.”