Page 49 of Line Change

“You alright?” Ansley asks, leaning closer to me.

“I’m good, Ans. How are you? It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to catch up.”

She takes a bite of her pizza, chews, and swallows. “Busy. Exhausted really. I’m so glad it’s the break.”

“Me too.” I may not travel with the team like Ansley does, but I can sympathize.

This is the beginning of the busiest part of the season for my department with the trade deadline in a few weeks and multiple charity events coming up. Then there’s the playoffs and the end of season media that always comes with it. Then the off-season starts and contracts are negotiated and signed, which means more media, plus the entry level draft.

“Are you getting excited for your new job?” Becca asks.

“Yes and no …” Ansley says. “I’m excited for a new challenge, but I’m going to miss you all, and the team.”

“We’ll miss you too,” Becca says.

“I’ll come back to visit,” Ansley says.

“Good,” I tell her.

The conversation shifts again when Aubrey starts telling a story of how her daughter, Abby, refused to go to sleep until Brody came home one night. She shakes her head. “I swear, she’s not even talking, and she’s already got him wrapped around her finger.” We all laugh because it’s true. “He was talking the other night about how he can’t wait to teach her to skate.”

“Hunt’s been talking about that too,” Madison pipes up.

“Hazel’s walking now, and Holt’s been talking about teaching her. I keep telling him we should wait a little longer—she’s still unsteady on her feet sometimes—but he insists. I caught him researching baby skates the other night,” Becca adds.

I laugh, imagining the guys in the locker room talking about their kids learning to ice skate, and my traitorous mind sees Sebastian as part of that conversation. I know he won’t be because even if he was planning to stay past this season, my baby isn’t his, and our marriage has an end date. Now I feel like crying again.

I suck in a few breaths. Stupid hormones. I look around at my friends here celebrating me, and I wish my marriage to Sebastian was real, that I’d said yes to one of those times he asked me out. It breaks my heart realizing what could have been between us. Maybe if we were actually together, a couple, he wouldn’t leave.

I push my chair back and get to my feet, feeling as though someone is squeezing my throat, making it hard to breath, while simultaneously an elephant is sitting on my chest. I run a shaky hand down my face.

“I need a minute,” I mutter, backing up.

Madison stands, holding out her hand. “Come on.”

I allow her to lead me upstairs and down the hallway to one of the guest bedrooms. She pushes the door open and gestures for me to step inside.

“Can I get you anything? A glass of water?”

“No, thanks. I think I’m going to lie down for a few minutes if that’s alright. I’m sorry.” I frown, hating this feeling.

She rubs my arm. “No need to apologize. You’ve got a lot going on. Take all the time you need. Holler if you need anything.”

I give her a weak smile, and she leaves, closing the door behind her, and I lie down on the bed.

I close my eyes, trying to relax and ignore the tightness in my chest. I wish Sebastian was here with me. He’d know what to do.

I sit up, pulling my phone out of my pocket to text him but stop myself. Eventually, I won’t have him around, and I’ll have to figure things out on my own. Might as well start now.

I can do this.

Everything will work out.

Chapter eighteen

Sebastian

“What should we do now?” Wes asks from where he’s sprawled out on Holt’s couch, bare feet propped on the coffee table.