Page 88 of Golden Goal

“Holt. What are you—“ I start to ask when I open the door.

He pulls me into his arms, letting out a shuddering breath, and I register that he’s shaking.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” I ask.

He shakes his head, still clinging to me, his breathing ragged.

“Let’s go inside,” I say, and he lets go of me enough so that we can step into my apartment. He closes the door behind him, and locks it. “You’re scaring me, Holt. Please talk to me.”

He stares at me for a few seconds before taking my hand and leading me to the living room, where he takes a seat, patting his lap. I do what he wants, leaning back against his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. Reaching over, I pick up the remote and turn the television off, not wanting or needing the distraction.

“Kat showed up,” he finally says.

“She what?” I turn so I can face him, reaching up a hand and caressing his chin.

His eyes flutter closed. “She showed up after the game in Vancouver. Asked about Hazel. Said things about her and me, about Hazel. About wanting to see her.” He furrows his brow.

“Fucking hell.”

“I already talked to my lawyer. She signed her parental rights away. There’s nothing she can do to change that.” He blows out a breath, his eyes opening and meeting mine. “She’s used to getting her way.” He raises a shoulder in a half shrug. “I don’t know what she’s capable of. She can be quite convincing when she wants to be.”

“You mean manipulative.”

He runs a hand over his face. “Yep, that.” His shoulders drop, and I notice the bags under his bloodshot eyes. “I can’t figure out what her end goal is. Why did she crawl out of her hole and show up?”

“Because she’s a bitch.”

He barks out a laugh, shaking his head. “She is. I wish I knew that before I started dating her.”

“Beating yourself up about it isn’t going to change anything.” I lean against him, and he wraps his arms around me.

“I know.” He inhales sharply before speaking again. “I called and left a message for a therapist Coach recommended. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t sleep on the plane ride home. All I did was replay the conversation Kat and I had over and over. Wondering where I went wrong. How I missed all the signs. I can’t spend the rest of my life doing that.”

“I’m proud of you,” I tell him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He blushes. “I just want to be the best dad I can be for Hazel, and right now, I don’t feel as though I can be.”

I squeeze his arm that’s wrapped around me. “You’re setting a great example for her, even if she’s too young right now to understand or remember. She’ll grow up knowing it’s okay to ask for help when you’re not okay. Now, come on.” I climb off his lap, and hold out my hand. “You need a nap. Doctor’s orders.”

He takes my hand and lets me lead him to my room.

“Only if the doctor is going to nap with me.”

“But we’re sleeping.” I point a finger at him. “No funny business, mister.”

He nods, leaning down to kiss me. The kiss is short and sweet. Different from our other kisses. He rests his forehead against mine. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He steps back and tugs off his shirt, then kicks off his Crocs before crawling into my bed.

I grin.

I like seeing him in my bed.

He belongs here, in my space.

I get in on the other side, and he tugs me toward him, resting his head on my chest and holding me tightly. I stroke his hair as he clings to me.

Eventually, his breathing evens out as he falls asleep.