Page 82 of Break Out

Even though we had a relaxing evening and things felt okay between us, sleep doesn’t come easy. I might have fallen asleep on the couch during the movie, but that was one hundred percent because of Brody. As tired as I was on the couch, the minute I finished brushing my teeth and lay down in bed, my brain started going a mile a minute, and I was wide awake again.

When I walked down the hallway to go to bed, it felt like a test. A test I failed by choosing the guest room over Brody’s. Part of me wanted to walk into his room, sleep in bed with him, but part of me, the rational part, knew I couldn’t.

I knew that if I went into his room, we would fall back into the easy relationship we had in Key West. That in the morning… I wouldn’t be able to leave.

As much as it pains me, I can’t do that.

I can’t sacrifice my dreams and goals.

I don’t want to wake up in twenty years and resent him because I gave up my dream to be with him. Just like I don’t want him to resent me because he gave up hockey to follow me. As romantic as it sounds, I couldn’t live with myself knowing what he sacrificed for me. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

With my mind made up, I close my eyes and try to think of something else so I can get some sleep. It’s going to take all the strength I can muster to have this conversation with him. To tell him goodbye.

I toss and turn for a while and eventually fall into a restless sleep. And I dream of Brody. Because of course I do. Except in my dream, he’s walking away from me. I chase him down roads and through streets that aren’t familiar, always yelling his name. But somehow, he’s always just out of reach. He never hears me. Never turns around or stops to wait for me.

I jolt awake, the blankets twisted around me, drenched in sweat. Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my racing mind. Tell myself it’s only a dream. That it’s not real. Running a hand down my face, I take a few deep breaths. Once my heart rate has slowed down and my mind has stopped whirling, lie back down. Luckily, I sleep the rest of the night without any more dreams.

The smell of bacon and coffee wakes me up. Stretching, I clamber out of bed and make my way into the en suite. I get dressed and throw the few items I unpacked last night back into my bag. I’m not sure when I’m going to leave yet since my flight isn’t until this evening, but I’d rather be ready now. Once that’s done, I make my way into the kitchen where I find Brody in front of the stove, cooking eggs.

“Good morning,” he greets me over his shoulder. “There’s coffee.” He points toward the coffee pot with the spatula before turning back to the stove.

“Morning. Thanks,” I mumble, grabbing a mug and pouring myself some. I fix it the way I like it before sliding into one of the barstools at the kitchen island. Taking a sip, I rack my brain for ways to bring up the topic of me leaving, but before I can figure out what to say, he’s walking over to me with two plates in his hand.

“Here.” He slides one of the plates, filled with scrambled eggs, a Belgian waffle, and fruit, toward me before setting the other one in front of the seat next to me.

His plate is almost the same as mine except he’s got potatoes instead of a waffle. He went through all the trouble of making a waffle just for me. Didn’t he? Of course he did. Why does he have to be so . . . perfect? I don’t know whose heart is going to be more broken—his or mine—when this is all over. But there’s not a whole lot I can do.

I give him a tight lipped smile as I take the knife and fork he hands me before he sits down next to me. When our plates are empty, he pushes his away and turns to face me. “I’m going to come out and say it. I don’t want what we started in Key West to end. It feels like we are just beginning.”

“I can’t,” I mumble, staring down at my empty plate, the waffle I ate feeling like a lead block in my stomach.

“Aubrey.” Brody reaches over, and I flinch back.

I can’t do this. If he touches me, if I end up in his arms, I won’t want to leave. I won’t be able to. I square my shoulders, take a fortifying breath, and stare up at him. “I’m not sacrificing this for you. For us. I’m sorry, Brody. This is my dream job. I can’t, I won’t give it up. Not even for you.” The last part comes out in a whisper, and I wonder if he heard me.

Now I understand why everyone in my family made sacrifices for love. It was probably easy for them. Because it would be so easy for me to do the same. It breaks my heart to break both of our hearts, but I need to do this. I need to follow this dream. Even if it means giving up the one person that I love the most.

Brody shakes his head at me like he can’t believe what I said. I lean back against the counter, the knot tightening in my stomach, bracing myself for what he’s about to say. Bracing myself to hear him say that he can’t be friends with me anymore.

I was stupid to think our arrangement could end smoothly after the wedding. Why did I think this was a good idea? Now I’m going to lose the one person that means the most to me. But it’s either this or give up my dreams. Sacrifice myself for him. And I can’t do that. I won’t do that. It’s taken me too long to get to this point in my career to throw it all away.

It’s what he says next that I don’t anticipate. That throws me for a loop.

Chapter thirty-four

Brody

I understand what she’s saying. I do. I would never expect or ask her to give up her dreams for me. My mind is made up, and I know what I need to do, what I want to do. I think I’ve always known. “I love you. You don’t have to give up Hawaii for me because I’m coming with you.”

“You’re what?” Aubrey rears back.

“I love you. I’m coming with you,” I repeat.

“I can’t let you do this,” she says, crossing her arms.

“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m choosing to do this.”

“But hockey is your dream. The Storm is your family. You can’t abandon them.” She pushes her chair back and stands, her eyes wild.