Page 42 of Break Out

It takes a second for my brain to catch up, but when it does, I reach for her and pull her into my lap so she’s straddling me. I groan, feeling her warm center connect with my dick, which is suddenly raring to go.

“Anything you want,” I murmur before pulling her into me and fusing our lips together. I lick at the seam of her lips, and she opens for me. She sinks her hands into my hair, her fingers against my scalp, and I groan, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. She tastes like chocolate and wine.

Fuck, I’m addicted.

All too soon, she tears her lips away. She goes to move off my lap, but I hold her in place.

“Fuck,” she says, chewing on her bottom lip.

“What is it?” I ask softly, fighting the urge to pluck her bottom lip out from between her teeth. Lean in and kiss her again.

“What about after?” She asks, finally meeting my gaze.

“What do you mean, after?”

“After this trip. This was supposed to be fake between us. This doesn’t feel fake anymore. I feel like we’re crossing a line. Maybe it’s the alcohol. We’re not thinking straight. I don’t want to do anything that’s going to ruin our friendship,” she gestures between the two of us.

“Aubrey, I’ve had one glass of whiskey. I know what I want. What I’ve wanted since New Year’s. Since before that. But if you’re going to regret any of this in the morning, we can stop. I don’t want you to have any regrets. Do you feel this?” I flex my hips, pushing my erection into her. Not that there’s any way she could have missed it, but just in case she wasn’t sure, she’s sure now. “If you want to cross the line I’ll happily cross it with you.”

It feels so good to say the words out loud, to finally admit my feelings.

She whimpers, bracing her hands on my shoulders. “Brody, I’ve dreamed of you. Of this. For years. I . . .” She drops her gaze to stare at the bed.

“Tell me. Please.” I whisper the last part, desperately wanting to know what she’s thinking.

“I didn’t think you wanted me. You didn’t want me in high school.”

“Aubrey.” I suck in a deep breath, about to admit out loud how pathetic I am. “I did.” I take another deep breath, willing the emotion out of my voice. “I never thought I was good enough to date you. I spent so many years denying my feelings for you and telling myself that you were better off with me as just a friend. That you deserved a partner who could match you in intellect. I’m sorry, Aubrey. I don’t . . .” I rake my hand through my hair. “I convinced myself that it was better this way. That I was married to my career. That I didn’t want anyone.” I take a deep breath, trying to build up the courage to tell her.

She stays silent, stroking her hands up and down my arms, waiting for me to speak.

I meet her gaze, ready to pour my heart out. “Seeing Hunter fall in love this past year . . . I don’t know. It stirred something in me. Seeing Cole and Caleb starting families. It made me reevaluate things. Aleksi is talking about retiring when his contract is up. He’s younger than I am. It’s made me realize that I have regrets. That I’ve missed out on things because I convinced myself that I was better off alone. Something changed this year. Call it an early midlife crisis. But I realized that I do want someone to share the rest of my life with. I’ve always wanted that. Somewhere along the way I convinced myself that I didn’t. That I didn’t deserve it. But I look at those guys, and they have partners, someone they can lean on, someone they go home to at the end of a road trip or a game. And I want that too. Is that ridiculous? Because it feels like it is.”

“It’s not, Brod.” She rubs her hands along my arms again.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself to tell her the whole truth because we agreed to be honest with each other. “You know my contract was up with the Storm at the end of this season.”

She nods.

“I don’t think they’re going to offer me a new one.”

“What? Why?” she asks, her mouth falling open.

“I failed the team.” My chest tightens as I admit to her the things I’ve been thinking about for weeks. “I missed a shot that got us eliminated from the playoffs. It was all my fault. I’d been having a rough end of the season, and that was the icing on the cake. I don’t think they’ll want me back.”

“Was it because of me? Because of the kiss? Because shit, Brody, I don’t know how you could forgive me. Still want to be with me if it was.” She goes to climb off my lap, but I hold her against me.

I take another deep breath. “No. I’d been having issues on and off with my game before the kiss.” I shake my head, trying to put into words how I feel. “I think it’s me. I’m getting older. Thirty-five isn’t exactly a spring chicken in the NHL. Hockey’s not the same for me anymore.”

“You didn’t fail the team, Brody. Yeah, you’re the one who missed the shot, but there’s how many other guys on the ice with you? It’s not all on you to win the game.”

“That’s what Caleb said,” I mumble.

“He’s a smart man,” she says with a grin.

“Probably shouldn’t tell him that. It’ll go to his head.” I huff out a laugh.

Aubrey leans forward and wraps her arms around me. I wrap mine around her and inhale deeply.