Page 53 of Wait for the Dream

I may hate douchebag Daniel for the ways he’s hurt my girls, but I am also grateful for him. Without him my Little Bear wouldn’t be here, and it might have taken Bailey and I a lot longer to finally confess those feelings we had both been keeping locked away.

Rowan will never know anything other than me as her dad. Someday, when she’s old enough to understand, we will tell her the story of how she came into this world, and I’m not looking forward to that day. I don’t know what that day is going to look like, but I know that she will always be surrounded by the love of our family.

Little Bear has started saying “Dada” and “Mama” and I swear the first time she said both Bailey and I were both sobbing messes. I have been there for all of Rowan’s first. Her first words, the first time she rolled over, the first time she crawled, and so many more. I am grateful everyday for that little girl and all the joy she brings me and our family.

“How does it feel for it to be official?” Pop asks me as we gather outside of the courthouse.

“So fucking good. She’s always been mine, but it’s nice for it to be official you know?” I ask him, “This little girl and her Momma are my entire world, and I don’t even want to try and imagine my life without them. I need them both like I need air to breathe.” I tell him

“I get that. That’s how I feel about your momma and you kids. You guys are my entire world. It’s been amazing to watch you grow over the last year and a half. Becoming a husband and a dad, facing your fears, all while still thriving in school. I’m so proud of you son.” Pop doesn’t get choked up often, but when he does it makes the entire room cry.

“Thanks Pop. I couldn’t have done any of this without you and Momma’s support. I will forever be grateful for the ways you support me and my family. I’ll never be able to repay you.” I tell him.

“Nothing to repay. We are grateful to do it, honestly. Supporting our family brings us joy.” He claps me on the shoulder, “We’ll see you at the house. There’s a bunch of food for everyone. And Charly baked cupcakes and cookies”

“We will see you there.” I say before going in search of my wife. Being a husband and a dad are my favorite titles. I’m excited to see what the future brings. Growing a life with Bailey and Rowan, giving Little Bear siblings eventually, and growing old with my best friend.

Life sure has a way to throw us off our game sometimes, but you’ve just got to learn to roll with the punches. And let life happen. I never expected that when I ran out of my house all those years ago, I would meet my best friend and love of my life. I never expected that that night at Bar Code that the douchebag wearing a fucking polo dancing with Bailey would give me the greatest gift I could ever ask for. And I never expected that the woman carrying my little girl and walking toward me with the widest smile on her face would finally give me a shot, and choose me first every single time. I would have dreams of my life, and Bailey was always in them, but even my dreams don’t compare to my reality.

Epilogue-Bailey

12 years later

“Bailey, you have to push!” Dr. Goldman says.

I swear to God I might murder the next person that tells me to push. I have pushed four babies out of my vagina, and I swear this last one has been the hardest. Every second of this pregnancy has convinced me that we are done.

“I am pushing!” I groan as another contraction overtakes my body. I push with all of my might, “Aiden Matthew, I am done having your babies. This is the last one!”

Dr. Goldman chuckles, “You said that when Rylen was born,” She says. “One more good push, Bailey, and your baby will be here.”

“Just because you’re my boss doesn’t mean you can sass me right now.” I say to the doctor. I am a labor and delivery nurse in this very hospital. I help Dr. Goldman deliver babies every day. I love my job, and the people I work with, but her sarcasm is not needed in this moment.

“Oh, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to have your babies with your coworkers, Bee.” Catherine, my best friend and favorite coworker says.

“Shut up!” Is all I get out before the contraction hits and I push. I’m exhausted. I have been in labor for the last twenty hours, and aside from Rowan, that is my longest labor. Everything about this pregnancy has been the worst. Firstly, I did not want another baby. I was done after Rylen, but a girl’s night with all my sister in laws, too much tequila and my very hot husband resulted in two pink lines and me telling my husband he is getting a vasectomy. I will say it again, I am done having babies.

The screaming, tiny human is placed on my chest, “It’s another girl, Blue,” Aiden says in a watery voice, a bright smile on his face as he looks down at the little girl that has completed our family.

That makes four girls and a boy. Poor Ryder, our second born, has grown up surrounded by girls. Apparently Baker children have a thing for having girls, because Ryder is the only boy in the whole cousin’s crew. He’s spoiled by the men in our family, though, so it works out in his favor.

“Congratulations you two,” Dr. Goldman says as she works on cleaning and stitching me up, “Have you decided on a name yet?”

“Rosalyn, Rosy for short, was the girl name we had picked out,” I say. When we found out we were pregnant with Renly, our third, we decided we wanted to find out the gender when she was born. We did the same thing with Rylen four years later. We did the same thing with this pregnancy. We have had a girl name and a boy name picked out for each pregnancy. Using names that start with R kind of just happened, “Do we still love it?”

“I think it’s perfect for her,” Aiden says.

“Alright you guys, we are gonna transfer you over to postpartum,” She says while she washes her hands. “Bailey, do you want to see if she will latch while we wheel you over there?’

I work on getting Rosy to latch. Breast feeding has been the only part of having children that I genuinely enjoy. Being pregnant is not my favorite thing in the world. Luckily, I didn’t have hypertension or pre-eclampsia with any of the pregnancies after Rowan, but I did struggle with morning sickness throughout all of them. It didn’t stop in the second trimester like it did with RoRo. It continued until the end. I love all of my children, but I will never be pregnant again. I think five kids is enough.

“How are you feeling, Momma?” Ryder asks when he enters Rosy’s nursery a few days later.

This boy looks just like his dad. Curly blonde hair and honey brown eyes. Sometimes I look at my son and get sucked into memories with his dad when he was his age. I’ll think back to skinned knees, bike rides, Christmas mornings with his dad. I look at my son, and all I can think is how grateful I am for this life I get to live. A life with my best friend beside me. A life where I get to raise my kids with my very favorite person in the world, I get to fall asleep snuggled with my Bear and wake up to his face every morning.

“I’m feeling okay. How are you?” I ask him. He has wanted a brother for as long as he’s been alive, so I’m not sure how he is taking the news that this last baby is a girl.

“I wanted a brother, Momma,” My sweet boy says.